Have you, like me, spent the past two weekends in the pits of despair and misery with no F1 or Moto GP action? If so you will doubtless be ruing the development of the F1 summer break for ruining that excuse to get out of a walk or picnic or some other wholesome activity.
But spare a thought for the drivers who are faced with an unprecedented amount of time to fill, especially as options such as reading and discussion of current and political affairs are way beyond the capability of most F1 drivers. So what do they get up to? Here at F1Fanatic we’ve decided to make a few educated guesses â€¦
Kimi Raikkonen - has in all likelihood been blockading the gates of new sponsor Johnny Walker demanding free samples. Failing that has been hunting down the man in charge of reliability at Mercedes Benz, I for one would like to be a fly on the wall at that meeting
Juan Pablo Montoya - Summer = 99p McFlurry’s at McDonalds – need I say more?
Pedro de la Rosa and Alex Wurz – Trying to coax Montoya into more games of tennis
Jenson Button – According to ‘Hello’ magazine has been on holiday with ex-finacee Louise Griffiths, has also been scouring the land for a good contract lawyer
Takuma Sato - Looking for a job starting November 2005
Michael Schumcher – Counting his money. The length of this task means he may miss the next few races
Rubens Barrichello – Decided he’s sick of being worse than Michael Schumacher. Now contemplating the chance of being worse than Takuma Sato
Mark Webber - Crying himself to sleep every night for having passed up a Renault drive for 2005
Nick Heidfeld - Holidaying with Mario Theissen
Fernando Alonso – Performing Renault demonstration runs on every corner of the earth to bring F1 to a new audience. Next week – Ulan Bator
Giancarlo Fisichella – Crying himself to sleep every night with the possibility he could be in a Williams in 2006
Felipe Massa – Waiting for Don Corleone to call in the favour he performed by getting him the Ferrari drive
Jacques Villeneuve - On the receiving end of road rage from 80 year old nuns for driving too slowly
David Coulthard - Testing the new range of Just For Men hair colouring. Still looks old
Christian Klien – Brain meltdown caused by trying to understand the logic of driver placement from bosses Red Bull
Vitantonio Liuzzi - Last seen begging Toni and Guy for a sponsorship deal or, failing that, a job
Ralf Schumacher - Shopping for pets
Jarno Trulli – Writing a manual on blocking, and getting a haircut (hopefully)
Narain Karthikayan – Looking for a job starting September 2005
Tiago Monteiro – Endlessly watching re-runs of the USGP and begging the Michelain teams to boycott the rest of the season
Christijian Albers – Contemplating whether his road car really is quicker than the 2005 Minardi. Decides it is
Robert Doornbos – Who?
Patrick Friesacher – Looking for a job starting immediately
Bernie Ecclestone - Building his clone army (not ‘Mini-Me’s as they would only be visible through a microscope)
Max Mosely – Working out how to justify new rules for mandatory diamond-studded and gold-plated bodywork are an exercise in cost cutting and safety improvement. Waxing Jean Todt’s love spuds.