Total tosh – but funny

Posted on | Author Keith Collantine

Fernando Alonso, McLaren Mercedes, Barcelona, 2007, 2Is Fernando Alonso going to extreme lengths to wrestle some press coverage back from Lewis Hamilton?

The News of the World on Sunday ran an ‘exclusive’ kiss-and-tell story on Alonso – or ‘Alonson’ according to the mis-spelled headline. Apparently he drives for McClaren.

Perhaps they deliberately left the typos in so they can claim the story is about someone else if it comes to court? Or maybe they’re just crap?

Enough preamble, here’s the juicy comedy quote-age:

“He undid my shirt and slipped his hands underneath my pink Topshop bra.”
“I thought, ‘Bloody hell, I’m in bed with Alonso.”
“I’ve not got a clue what he said but it sounded gorgeous.”
“One time I asked him what he thinks about when he drives. He said, ‘The next corner …but when I’m on a straight I think about you’.”

You have to laugh – at them, not with them. The joke’s on the gutter press as long as no-one takes it seriously. Given this is in the News of the World, I wouldn’t take a word of it at face value.

The full article is below – alternatively perhaps try a NASCAR-branded Mills & Boon books…

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