New year’s resolutions for F1 drivers

Posted on | Author Keith Collantine

Lewis Hamilton, McLaren-Mercedes, Silverstone, 2007, 6 | DaimlerHaving made my usual new year’s resolutions (about drinking less coffee and spending less time on writing F1 Fanatic) I dreamt up a few resolutions I’d like F1 drivers and other figures to take.

Here are 20 resolutions I thought up – suggest some of your own in the comments box below…

Lewis Hamilton – I will learn to drive conservatively in championship-deciding races.

Kimi Raikkonen – I will stop acting like a bored teenager during interviews.

Fernando Alonso – I will explain my version of the events at last year’s Hungarian Grand Prix.

Max Mosley – I will not take cheap shots at three-times world champions.

Bernie Ecclestone – I will hand over the running of Formula One Management to someone who understands new media (and bring F1 back to America).

Jenson Button & Nick Heidfeld – I will purchase and use a razor.

Tadashi Yamashina – I will pack up my joke of a team and buy Williams instead.

Ron Dennis – I will learn the value of transparency and good public relations.

Sebastien Bourdais – I will not let my new F1 drive stop me from competing in the Le Mans 24 Hours.

Vijay Mallya – I will not allow Force India / Spyker / MidlandF1 / Jordan to be sold yet again.

All F1 drivers – I will complete a season without using the phrase ‘for sure’.

Mario Theissen & Burkhard Goeschel (BMW) – I will stop arguing in favour of stability control and realise it has no place in Formula 1.

Flavio Briatore – I will not throw stones from the confines of my glass house.

Frank Williams & Colin Kolles – I will drop my opposition to customer teams.

Hermann Tilke – I will urge the FIA to relax the tight restrictions on F1 circuit design.

Juan Pablo Montoya, Williams, 2004 | BMW MediaJuan Pablo Montoya – I will stop messing about in NASCAR and return to F1.

Steve Rider & James Allen – I will realise there are 21 F1 drivers who aren’t Lewis Hamilton.

Felipe Massa – I will learn that a red light means stop.

Luca di Montezemolo – I will stop whingeing about ‘spygate’.

Michael Schumacher – I will announce my return to Formula 1 with Ferrari as Kimi Raikkonen’s team mate in 2009.

40 comments on “New year’s resolutions for F1 drivers”

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  1. Great resolutions, most of them won’t come true though…

    Nick Heidfeld shouldn’t use a razor, in my opinion. He looks better with the beard! Jenson on the other hand…

  2. For sure! That’s all you hear…

    So yeah I think all drivers should stop saying for sure.

    Also the one about kimi needs to stop acting bored in interviews. I think the first time I saw him smile was when he won the championship.

  3. One thing I’ve never understood is the position of Max Mosley vs Bernie Eccelstone. What are their positions and how different are their responsibilities/positions (screw F1 tactics)?

  4. Beards in F1 shouldnt be allowed, DC has aged 20 years with longer pube like hair both on his head and face, Jenson is soooooo pretty when he is clean shaven, and Nick Heidfeld, I think he is trying to look like a star wars character!

    Its like Damon Hill now…..NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO facial hair doesnt look good

  5. AJ – Briefly, Mosley is the president of the FIA, and is responsible for governing Formula 1 (among other things) – i.e. setting rules, arbitrating on controversial matters etc…

    Ecclestone runs the commercial side so he negotiates contracts with circuits, television stations, arranges logistics and so on.

    The exact nature of their relationship is highly debatable, but it’s not really relevant to go into here. Terry Lovell’s excellent biography of Ecclestone, “Bernie’s Game”, is a good starting point.

  6. KB, i’m sorry but i disagree: Beards should be compulsory. I’m starting to feel a litte bit tired of all the teenagers in the F1, acting and talking like if they’d won 4 championships. I’d appreciate some respect for the veterans, and also i’d woluld like to return at that days were you need more than two GP2 races to test a F1 car.

  7. What would you rather see in F1?

    a) Slick tyres
    b) 10 year engine freeze
    c) Compulsory beards

    Don’t think Trulli, Vettel or Hamilton would look good with beards.

  8. Charlie Whiting & FIA referees: I will study what ‘fair play’ and coherence means.

  9. Toyota doesn’t need to buy Williams, they could (and probably should) just start throwing money at some team trying to break into F1, probably Prodrive.

  10. Think it was Jeremy Clarkson who brought up the beards issue in F1, maybe even talking to Lewis in the past Top Gear season, claiming that in a sport where every effort is made to reduce the overall weight the drivers should just shave their beards off.

    And mike’s right, the first time I’ve seen Kimi smile, in a post-race interview at least, was when he won the championship – in a way, it was almost worth it. Before coming into parc ferme, there was a point where I thought he was actually crying – but it’s probably just his knackered body language.

    Think I would add in:

    Ron Dennis – It’s OK to retire

    Lewis Hamilton – I will stop making outlandish statements

    ITV F1 Production – We do not need James Allen

    James Allen – The ITV F1 Production team are right

    Kimi Raikkonen – I will stop snoozing behind the wheel, especially during qualifying

    Mark Webber – I will find another good luck charm, preferably one that works

  11. HEY was simply commenting from a womans point of view, the beards arent good.

    I think ITV should overhaul their coverage! Start reading the race better and less Ads!

    Steve Rider back to golf!

    Martin Blundell – Replace with Mr Clarkson!

    LH should say what he thinks, not what he thinks ppl might like to hear!

    And GP2 is more often than not a better race than the F1 race!

    Heres to a more fun year in F1….less seriousness

  12. Felipe Massa: “I will win a Grand Prix from the third row, on my own merit, overtaking on the track, without retirements ahead of me!”

  13. Blundell with Clarkson,, awesome!!! (and Hampster as the pit reporter?!)

  14. Toyota buying Williams would be a disaster. Toyota should just give Frank their currentbudget and let him get on with it.

  15. KB, actually i was no talking about beards (it was just an example). I think there is a lot of very young people, who don’t need to shave because they’re almost kids, that talk and act with no modesty and respect. So..

    Rookie: I will earn the respect of my mates driving in the track, and I won’t talk about what would happen if my car were faster, or if my team trusted my skills.

  16. AmericanTifosi
    2nd January 2008, 17:47

    Heikki Kovalinen: I will not let my new position go to my head.
    Honda: We will try to out-perform the Safety Car.
    Nelson Piquet Jr: I will make Fernando’s life miserable.
    K. Nakajima: I will not run over my pit crew.
    Rubens Barrichello: I will score points this year or retire.
    Kimi Raikkonen: I will not get beaten by my team mate.

  17. Loki, could not agree with you more… Though with Kimi, its like he’s sleeping even when the race is on.

    For crying out louds sake, it is well documentd that, he loves nothing more than a snooze before both quali or for that matter the race. Quite some attitude.

    Plus, the man actually at the start of season, between Melbourne and Malaysia, raced a skidoo endurance race under name James Hunt and won!!! Speaks a lot about the character. We clearly need/want more people like that in F1.

  18. AmericanTifosi
    2nd January 2008, 17:49

    All drivers: I will come up with and use another phrase for “The Limit”
    Byernd Maylander: I will not get hit by a flying STR

  19. Sri, indeed Kimi participates in many other activities outside F1, which reportedly Ferrari “turn a blind eye” to more than McLaren did, and he does seem to be a lively character outside of F1. He even says that if he couldn’t do everything else he loved, there’s no point in being in F1.

    Here’s a thing: if Kimi was to be “himself” during interviews, maybe there would be a side that the bill-payers would not want to know – to be honest, I’ve grown to love his approach to interviews as it keeps him out of trouble and usually doesn’t warrant or demand any extra media attention to ensue. Yes, they’re boring as hell, but I could see the advantages in it.

    Anyway back on topic:

    Kovalainen: I will stop following in Alonso’s footsteps
    Massa: I will chill (but perhaps not so much as Kimi) and not let other rookies this year make me look like a rookie.
    Ross Brawn: I will remember it is the white cars Im now watching.
    Button: I will become British #1 again (given a few years with Brawn)

  20. Murray Walker: return to F1 and send James Allen back to the bridge under which he was born

    Fernando Alonso: trim unibrow

    Someone: explain to Fernando Alonso how much of a hypocrite he’s been, and maybe give him a good punch to the head

    Kimi Raikkonen: enunciate

    FOM: stop taking down fan videos from F1 races

    Bernie: bring back the USGP

    Ralf Schumacher and Sakun Yamamoto: leave. leave and never come back

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