New year’s resolutions for F1 drivers

Lewis Hamilton, McLaren-Mercedes, Silverstone, 2007, 6 | DaimlerHaving made my usual new year’s resolutions (about drinking less coffee and spending less time on writing F1 Fanatic) I dreamt up a few resolutions I’d like F1 drivers and other figures to take.

Here are 20 resolutions I thought up – suggest some of your own in the comments box below…

Lewis Hamilton – I will learn to drive conservatively in championship-deciding races.

Kimi Raikkonen – I will stop acting like a bored teenager during interviews.

Fernando Alonso – I will explain my version of the events at last year’s Hungarian Grand Prix.

Max Mosley – I will not take cheap shots at three-times world champions.

Bernie Ecclestone – I will hand over the running of Formula One Management to someone who understands new media (and bring F1 back to America).

Jenson Button & Nick Heidfeld – I will purchase and use a razor.

Tadashi Yamashina – I will pack up my joke of a team and buy Williams instead.

Ron Dennis – I will learn the value of transparency and good public relations.

Sebastien Bourdais – I will not let my new F1 drive stop me from competing in the Le Mans 24 Hours.

Vijay Mallya – I will not allow Force India / Spyker / MidlandF1 / Jordan to be sold yet again.

All F1 drivers – I will complete a season without using the phrase ‘for sure’.

Mario Theissen & Burkhard Goeschel (BMW) – I will stop arguing in favour of stability control and realise it has no place in Formula 1.

Flavio Briatore – I will not throw stones from the confines of my glass house.

Frank Williams & Colin Kolles – I will drop my opposition to customer teams.

Hermann Tilke – I will urge the FIA to relax the tight restrictions on F1 circuit design.

Juan Pablo Montoya, Williams, 2004 | BMW MediaJuan Pablo Montoya – I will stop messing about in NASCAR and return to F1.

Steve Rider & James Allen – I will realise there are 21 F1 drivers who aren’t Lewis Hamilton.

Felipe Massa – I will learn that a red light means stop.

Luca di Montezemolo – I will stop whingeing about ‘spygate’.

Michael Schumacher – I will announce my return to Formula 1 with Ferrari as Kimi Raikkonen’s team mate in 2009.

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40 comments on New year’s resolutions for F1 drivers

  1. frecon said on 3rd January 2008, 10:03

    Kovalainen: In order to be many years driving for Mclaren, I will never qualify better than Lewis, I will never overtake Lewis, I will never finish a race in front of Lewis, I will never ask for extra lap in Qualifiyng session, I’ll tolerate Ron talking about me as a rival, I’ll tolerate Anthony Hamilton bringing FIA investigations against me. If accidentally finish a race in front of Lewis I will tolerate all Hamilton’s whining.

    Summarizing,in order to not be defame in media, I will be a good boy, fast but no more than Hamilton, and i will worship Hamilton

  2. FIA – We will release Michael Schumachers career in F1 as a boxset, to give the fans a glimpse of a racing legend, for a reasonable price

  3. F1 Racing Magazine – We will get better in 2008 , we will put Lewis 12 times on the cover and devote at least 50% of pages in each issue to him !

    Lewis Hamilton – I promise I will authorize all my 65 biographies that will be published in 2008 !

  4. NO! Please – if F1 Racing does that, I would probably have to cancel my subscription. I still don’t understand why Lewis has to be on five issue covers in succession. There are other things going on in F1 besides him, the editors should note…

  5. AmericanTifosi said on 4th January 2008, 2:22

    Yes, I’ve written two nasty letters to F1 Racing about the Lewis obsession. I suggested they change their name to “Lewis Hamilton Monthly”

    Kimi: I will start answering all the press conference questions in another language and see if anyone notices.

    Toyota: We will replace both out F1 cars with Camerys and see if they’re faster.

  6. AmericanTifosi said on 4th January 2008, 2:25

    Felipe: I will stop drinking so much coffee and will act much calmer when people hit me. (Fernando, Europe of this year)

  7. frecon, what you say is indeed quite funny and ironically just reflects on how much pride Heikki will have to swallow just to remain in team Hamilton, am sorry, i meant McLaren.

    Quote: AmericanTifosi Says:

    “Yes, I’ve written two nasty letters to F1 Racing about the Lewis obsession. I suggested they change their name to “Lewis Hamilton Monthly””

    I agree, their name should be changed to “Lewis Hamilton Monthly”. I wrote 3 letter myself in fairly colourful and kind language! About how their obsession with Hamilton and their bias towards McLaren during the spygate issue was just irritating readers across the world.

    Even now the @$$#*!&$ have not commented on McLaren apology letter issued or the FIA document which contained information on what all parts McLaren were developing using acquired Ferrari knowledge.

    Jeremy Clarkson did sum the situation up nicely in TG, in an episode in season 10, when he said that “McLaren are bringing out a new supercar” and then he shows the picture of Scuderia F430. NICE :D

  8. Vertigo said on 4th January 2008, 9:42

    F1 Racing’s Lewis/McLaren bias is no surprise – Lewis is what sells right now, and F1 Racing exists to make money. I have to agree though, 5 months of constant Lewis is starting to grate, especially when it was RAIKKONEN who won the title.

  9. Sri, the January 2008 edition of F1 Racing does have quite a bit of comment on McLaren’s “apology” – unfortunately they are still completely obsessed with Hamilton and don’t apply their usual analytical skills to it. They’re more bothered, for instance, about how Hamilton will be affected by the FIA restrictions that McLaren accepted as part of the peace deal than about the fact that the McLaren apology was written in a way that didn’t require McLaren to admit much of anything.

  10. Hi Alianora La Canta!

    Well, we are still to get our issues in this region mate. So, i guess i do not really know what to say on that.

    For most part of it, when you say that “they’re more bothered, for instance, about how Hamilton will be affected by the FIA restrictions that McLaren accepted as part of the peace deal than about the fact that the McLaren apology was written in a way that didn’t require McLaren to admit much of anything.”

    I truly do believe that they really should get their act together. It is all very cute, that they have found hope again. Yes, no doubt that Hamilton is good, but, is he good enough to not screw-up again? We are yet to find out. Plus, when FIA set out changing rules to destabilise Ferrari and Michael, where was the Fair-play Brigade. I think it is unfair when rules are changed to specifically target the winning team.

    McLaren messed up. Big time. No doubt many will find me overly critical of McLaren. The truth is, this is the way any guilty party is to be treated. Not any kindly cos me or anyone else likes them. F1Racing is covering up for them. Why? It is all i ask.

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