Fernando Alonso, Felipe Massa, Ferrari F2012 launch, 2012

Caption competition 4: Ferrari F2012

Caption competitionPosted on | Author Keith Collantine

Fernando Alonso, Felipe Massa, Ferrari F2012 launch, 2012
Fernando Alonso, Felipe Massa, Ferrari F2012 launch, 2012

What do Fernando Alonso and Felipe Massa really make of the new Ferrari?

It’s over to you to decide what Alonso and Massa had to say as they pulled back the covers on the new Ferrari F2012 yesterday. Supply your captions in the comments.

Remember to look out for a selection of the best in tomorrow’s Comment of the Day in the daily round-up.

Caption competition

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Image ?? Ferrari spa/Ercole Colombo

283 comments on “Caption competition 4: Ferrari F2012”

  1. Jack Leslie (@)
    4th February 2012, 10:02

    “…………….Urm……….This looks, different”

  2. matthewf1 (@)
    4th February 2012, 10:04

    ‘Ferrari make the surprise unveiling of Alain Prost as their reserve driver for the 2012 season’

  3. Woops. I was meant to say

    “I hope they kept the receipt”

  4. “A bedside table with wheels? It’ll never work.”

  5. ‘See? I told you not to sit on the nose before the ceremony! Lay off the Donuts next winter Filipe!’

    1. LOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!! hilarious! :D

    2. @sam3110 I made a very similar caption but I swear I hadn’t read yours!

  6. “Somebody call Steve Irwin and the Americans, they’ve let a red crocodile loose!”

  7. “Prost get out from under that sheet”

  8. “Looks that kill”

  9. “Oh, nose!”

  10. Hey Felipe, since when did Alain Prost design F1 cars?

    1. have you ever heard of prost GP?

      1. Now he has

  11. “We’ve gone with the flow on this one, doesn’t look too good, but we won’t see the front most of the time, so it’s bearable. Now can the FIA give us the championship already? Or even better exclude Red Bull and McLaren?”

  12. My prancing horse is going to be prancing backwards.

  13. “Hey Felipe, I wonder where they got the idea for the stupid flat nose on this thing?”
    “um…I see you’re still wearing that cap, Fernando?”

  14. Do you still want to uncover everything Felipe? It might look uglier still.

  15. Fernando and Felipe decide it’s best to re-cover the Ferrari….

  16. SennaNmbr1 (@)
    4th February 2012, 10:26



  17. Don’t look back in anger.

  18. Alonso can’t bear to look at new Ferrari.

  19. “For thure, when you sit inside the car, you cannot see the nose.” – Felipe Massa.

  20. “Guys, please close your eyes while we unveil it”

  21. Fernando and Felipe decide to ‘go ugly early’

    1. haha Classic!

      1. Brilliant! HAhahhahaa

  22. Ferrari explained why their drivers had seen the car weeks before it was launched: “We wanted to avoid unhappy surprises as Fernando and Felipe have weak stomaches.”

  23. Stefano: “This is a part of our new agressive design philosophy to make a car so ugly that Vettel will let us through to avoid having to see this nose in his mirrors. We call it >>Prancing horse in your face<<"

  24. Massa: ‘Err, I think Lewis already crashed into this one’.

    1. hahaha winner!

      1. fantastc!!! :-)

  25. Alonso: “Oh dear god… I really do give up.”

    1. Or is he actually saying ‘it is ugly but the worst sight in f1 is still vettel’s finger’

      1. Well, for him it is one of the worst sights, as Alonso won’t have won the race!

  26. And here is the naughty step where Felipe will be put if he fails to let Fernando through again.

  27. Smedley — “Felipe, Alonso is faster than you”

    Alonso — “No no, it’s ok. I’m happy looking at the back.”

    1. Long time since that joke was rewound to make me laugh!

      1. Glad to be of service.

      2. Winner for me (am I voting against myself??!!)

  28. “I preferred the Jeep

  29. “Our innovative design teams wanted to ensure that Lewis would see this in his mirrors”

  30. “We’re looking at ways in which we can save time in the race. A smaller nose is much quicker to replace in a pitstop.”

  31. “Felipe, this Ferrari is uglier than you”…

  32. “Ok Fernando, we can cover it up with this tarp and pray we never have to lay eyes on it again.”

  33. “So that’s why people have been calling it the F-20-Lego”

  34. “Quick! Get the cover back on this thing!”

  35. “So that’s where they were hiding it.”

  36. “Oh cool, they have given us a car that can plow the snow and looks like our F1 car……….right?”

  37. Team Orders – Part III

  38. As they peel it of, the Ferrari drivers now know why their 2012 charger was being hidden by and ironing board cover!

  39. Fernando: “Someone’s ruined our car!”
    Felipe: “There’s only person who could have possibly done this”

    Both: “LEWIS!”

  40. “Scare-odynamics”

    No no, that one is terrible :P

  41. Manjit Raiytt
    4th February 2012, 11:54

    Massa-“Thats my career over then!”

    Alonso-“Just roll the cover back on Felipe! We’ll have another go next season.”

  42. some say, they found him sitting in the cockpit when ferrari uncovered the F2012!!!!!

  43. Malcolm Clark
    4th February 2012, 12:12

    OK, perhaps we won’t win the championship this year, but with my very own mobile park bench, my friends and I are guaranteed the best seat in the house.

  44. “Tragic news from Milton Keynes, Adrian Newey have died laughing in front of his laptop at around 09:30 am, February 3, 2012. This was the picture displayed on the screen when his associates found him.”

  45. Cool. We can’t get on the podium, so they built on into the car.

    1. built one on the car. sorry for typo

    2. matthewf1 (@)
      4th February 2012, 12:21

      nice :-)

  46. Go on, we better cover this up before someone see it.

  47. All I wanted was a silver and red one!!!!

  48. Fernando can’t wait to see the mirrors

  49. Fernando: We actually intended to name this the “Ferrari Rocky Balboa” but had to settle for F2012

  50. Well, we can’t get on the podium, so we made our own!!

    1. Brilliant :D

  51. I think we should hide this as soon as possible.

  52. Just as tastefull as a ‘Ferrari’ SUV!

  53. Fernando: “She’s much better under the sheets than my ex-wife”

  54. “After several members of the audience fainted when the F2012 was unveiled, Fernando and Felipe decided to put the cover back on the car.”

  55. That’ll look better AFTER I hit Lewis Hamilton!

  56. “Due to a worldwide shortage of carbonfibre, Ferrari were forced to construct the front of their car using Lego.”

  57. Alonso thinks – “Why did Montoya have to sit on the nose?”

  58. “I thought your wife was ugly Felipe. But compared to this thing she’s a beauty”

  59. Alonso: *sigh* Well thats what I have to look at in my mirrors all season. Now lets see what you will be looking at.

  60. Alonso: Hey Felipe – there is a button here marked “Lewis” I guess that is how you activate the wheel sythes?

  61. Felipe: I know we want young tallent in the sport, but did we really need a 5 year old to design this years car?

  62. It has a top speed of 12, but any drivers that pass it have to take into account they may have to look at it.

  63. Uh… Did you bring the snowplough instead of the Ferrari?

  64. I hope that nose is lewis proof

  65. I say we start concentrating on next years car, Felipe

  66. As another hideous 2012 F1 car is unveiled, FOM start to seriously consider playing Christina Aguilera’s ‘Beautiful’ on the grid before every race…

    ‘I am beautiful, no matter what you say, words can’t bring me down…’

  67. Alonso: ‘Don’t look directly at it Felipe’

  68. Alonso: ‘Ah.. I give up..’

  69. You’ll like this Felipe, it drives like a battering ram…

  70. “Ferrari take their new lego sponsorship a bit too far.”


    “In honor of platypus awareness week….”

  71. Let’s reveal Sarah Jessica Parker!

  72. “It will look so much better with that red cloth covering the car up”

  73. “Never look a gift horse in the mouth.. or the nose!”

  74. “the new Ferrari f2012; one step forward two steps back!?”

  75. “This new design is just a step too far.”

  76. Alonso and Massa: Tell the McLaren pair that, any more smugness and we will shove this nose somewhere, where the sun don’t shine.

  77. Vettel’s nose if he brings that finger out again.

  78. “Well, I can’t wait to get inside the car so I don’t see that nose anymore”

  79. Fernando this is not one of your better majic tricks, every time we take the cover off it still looks the same!

    1. Haha :D I definitely like this one!

  80. ooohSH..! I somebody’s been dogging on it! look what they’ve done to the nose!

  81. “What the….. DIBS ON THE OTHER ONE!!”

  82. The philosophy of this year’s Ferrari is to provide the drivers with a dinner table, ironing board and a toilet, all in the platypus-stile nose.

  83. “I callled mine Ducky McQuack, how about you, Felipe?”

  84. matthewf1 (@)
    4th February 2012, 15:17

    ‘Nope, the new car’s not under here’

  85. matthewf1 (@)
    4th February 2012, 15:21

    ‘My dog has no nose’
    ‘How does he smell?’

  86. The platypus’ union has already announced that it will sue Scuderia Ferrari for damages to the prestigious image of the animal.

  87. Alonso: “Wonder what Seb would call to this one…”

    1. matthewf1 (@)
      4th February 2012, 16:48

      Alain’s ugly sister?

  88. “Pay me my tenner Felipe – I told you a new nose can’t be attached while wearing a blindfold”

  89. Felipe “20 pound!”, Fernando “i see it”, Felipe “I seen it first”, Fernando “Luca :'(:'(“

  90. “Felipe, I thought I’d told you not to sit on the nose of the car while they were modelling it!”

  91. “Ah, yesss! This one is yours, Felipe, mine’s not quite ready yet”.

    1. haha, awesome :D

  92. Massa: “Maybe I should’ve left Ferrari last year, after all.”

  93. No, no, no, Fernando please, you must take this one. After all you are the number one driver.

  94. Felippe: “The new Jean Todt nose is brilliant!”
    Fernando: “now the FIA will always have our back, or should I say our nose?”

  95. “That Tombazis… I never liked the guy.”

  96. “Felipe, keep this cloth after we unveiled the car, it may be useful again.”

  97. Come on Felipe, lets cover it up again. We’ve seen enough.

  98. Not red again!

  99. If I’ve told you once I’ve told you a million times, don’t let Stevie Wonder in the design room!!!

  100. Dane DI Pierro
    4th February 2012, 16:19

    Now when Felipe hits Lewis we can say they bumped uglies and get a good laugh.

  101. Massa – “I need a black visor, I need a black visor!”

  102. “And now, let us reveal the real reason why we’ve decided to cancel the presentation ceremony !”

  103. Felipe baby, be cool!!

    By the time we arrive in Melbourne, we should know if you’ll have the chance to let Fernando by for some wins!

  104. That is correct. This was designed by Jeremy Clarkson and his hammer.

  105. Alonso:”Oh dear… Do we have to take the whole cover off?!”
    Massa:”I dont think it could get worse!”

  106. Welll…at least it’s red.

  107. Massa: Fernando did you see that nose?
    Alonso: Nose? What nose? La la la la

  108. Hopefully this blog will not be deleted if the fugly ferrari starts to win races…..and then it would be funny….

  109. Alonso: I have a feeling that the joke i made on Tompazis by giving him a lego technical kit when i was dressed as Santa on Christmas just came to bite me back.

  110. Ok guys nice joke. Now seriously where’s the real car?

  111. peru-kowalsky
    4th February 2012, 16:56

    alonso thinks . time is running out for the third title, and this car doesn’t look as a world championship winning car.
    Let’s just go with the flow, and hope for the best.
    Oh god, I wish i had signed for red bull when i had the chance.

  112. Massa: Fernando are they really gonna have us drive this all year long? Wait..who are you calling we in the middle of a presentation.
    Alonso: My psychologist, to you want his number? His very good.
    Massa: Yeah i think i’ll need it.

  113. peru-kowalsky
    4th February 2012, 17:00

    the father of the creature was nowhere to be seen durring the presentation. I wonder why…

  114. Drivers mind: Uncover, uncover, uncover(seeing nose)…., cover, cover,cover, cover.

  115. “Quickly Alonso! Help me put that cover on ! We cant let anyone else see this ugly monster! Faster, Faster… They’re coming!”

  116. “Why couldn’t it snow inside as well?”

  117. “what do you mean, this isn’t the car we sent for crash testing?”

  118. Ugandan Discussions
    4th February 2012, 17:25

    “Hey Fernando, with these mirror, I’ve got an excuse when I get into another crash with “Luis”!”

  119. Massa: Fernado have you seen its nose?
    Alonso: I’m trying not too.

  120. Alonso: ‘Just close your eyes Fernando’
    Massa: ‘I raised the sheet/blanket higher than Fernando 1-0. 2012 is mine!’

  121. Not again… the car is full of Santanders turds.

  122. ”do you think anybody will notice the nose filipe?”

  123. The all new Ferrari 2012 car is unveiled… at Lego headquaters

  124. OMG! It’s red again!

  125. Its a great caption… their faces… really nice catch.

  126. “This is so ugly we can only show it to you in sections!”

  127. Fernando: “It looks very special”

    Felipe: “Suits me better”

  128. That reminds me, I must do the ironing.

    1. or

      Alonso: That reminds me filipe, have you finished doing my ironing yet?

  129. Now I know why Tompazis borrowed my surf-board

  130. Stefano Domenicali in the background: “What have we done, this thing makes even Fernando Alonso raise his eyebrows!”

  131. “that needs breaking and re-setting”

  132. Massa: “I might have lost our last bet but this is going too far…”

  133. “Hey Fernando why did Luca hire the designer obsessed with cubism?”

    1. The front nose may be cubist but nothing else is, therefore not a great caption as it is not true. (Just done cubism in Art GCSE I know what I am talking about)

      1. only the front is showing though, and the only thing that isnt square there are the wheels and tyres.
        also all these captions arent true as none of them were said, are they not great either?

        1. the only cubist element is the nose, you can think of diagonal lines and that if you slid the nose down from being smooth it now forms the slope.

  134. “APRIL FOOLS.. oh wait it’s February. Damn” :|

  135. CAUTION:

    Mind the step.

  136. Felipe: “my mother always told me that it’s not the outside that matters, but what’s inside.”
    Fernando: “well we better be hiding traction control, active ride height, a blown diffuser, and ground effect to make up for this ugly ducking!”

  137. Massa: “Noooooo!, Luca told ME to step it up this year”

  138. Cover it up! COVER IT UP, QUICK!!!!!!!!!!!

  139. “I think this year I won’t need to make the car look bad”

  140. In the words of Craig Revell-Haward…..
    Fernando: “It’s a disaster darling”.
    Felipe: “Certainly not Fab-ou-lous“.

  141. One more try…
    “Fernando, did you see that?” “Don’t look, Felipe, don’t look.”

  142. Massa: oh boy, do we really have to do this??

    Alonso: Smile and say cheese or else Luca will send you home today.

  143. “Dear god; looking at this makes me feel like that spring on my head back in 2009, only this time it apperently also hit the nose”

  144. Caption:
    No comment.

  145. Are you sure the regs say we have to drive the car used in the crash test?

  146. Felipe : “Fernando…the engineers have designed a seat for u in the front incase the car runs out of fuel again. No more taking piggy back rides from Red Bull again”

  147. Cover it again!!!!!!!

  148. The back is not the best looking, now lets see the front. Oh wait…

  149. Now Felipe, just don’t look at the front. Concentrate on the cockpit man, and the mirrors – you’re gonna need them.

  150. Take this broken nose, and learn to fly again…wait, it’s supposed to be broken wings, right? What’s that song from Mr. Mister Felipe?

  151. “eeeeeee, a pet platypus”

  152. Hey Vettel , this is “Kate’s Ugly Little Sister”

  153. Fernando: “Ok Felipe, let’s see what the engineers made for us…”
    Felipe: “It’s finally here, they kept it secret even for us…”
    Fernando: “Oh oh, there’s something strange…”
    Felipe: “Holy crap! They made a mistake, they put the unfinished or prototype car here!!!”
    Fernando: “You’re right, look at that nose. It looks deformed!”
    Montezemolo: “I’m sorry guys, it’s all the engineers could make up considering the regulations…”
    Fernando and Felipe thinking: “I wonder how McLaren was able to do it differently… we are screwed!”

  154. Hmm, the snow flakes in Maranello seem to be heavier than in Oviedo. Look what they’ve done!

  155. Felipe: What the ****?

    Fernando: Can’t look, can’t look…

  156. Alonso- ” Felipe, stop staring at the nose an we might just get away with it “

  157. We really need to buy the designers some new rulers….

  158. I knew Ferrari was making an aggressive design, but not this aggressive…

  159. Fernando: Remember that card trick i did on the bbc last year well…… Abrakadabra!

  160. Gav (@foxtrotoscar21)
    4th February 2012, 19:53

    “1,2,3… Abracadabra… and its gon… um, oh, it’s still here…

  161. ”don’t stare at it Philipe, just pretend every things normal”

  162. My eyes!! Put the cover back on! PUT THE COVER BACK ON!!!

  163. I knew laughing at the Caterham was a bad idea….

  164. A-Safieldin (@)
    4th February 2012, 21:10

    The dark visor, i need the dark visor!!
    Felipe baby stay cool just close your eyes

  165. They took taking a step up to their game a little too seriously.
    So they decided to make the car look like stairs.

  166. You know Felipe my very first car look better than this thing…
    Well Fenando, people won’t be sorry to see Ferrari leave the sport now, I wish I was…

  167. After his fall, the injured Robert Kubica and his nose became the styling influence for the F2012 rather than becoming one of the car’s drivers.

  168. Fernando, yeah Felipe, Luca said they had so much success with Schumi they designed his chin into it.

  169. “Oops…we shall never use a blind designer with a chronic hickup again”

  170. “Erm..I really tried to teach him how to draw a straight line after a bottle of Chianti”

  171. “I heard that next year we are going to start using computers for designing cars”

  172. Jesus, that’s ugly.

  173. Massa: “gotta call Lewis so he crashes into me in every race and tears off this hideous nosecone”

  174. Shortly after the launch of the new ferrari, felipe and alonso are asked to cover it up again because some of the audience are becoming nauseous.

  175. Alonso: “Oh, well..maybe next year”

  176. Oh they hired the designer of the Fiat Multipla!
    (after Luca found a horse’s head in his bed)

  177. Elliot Horwood
    4th February 2012, 23:04

    Image shows how McLaren actually have a LOWER nose than Ferrari, even with the ‘step ladder’ design ferrari have http://i.imgur.com/Aby4i.jpg

    1. thats got to be the winner =P

  178. Too late… I’ve turned to stone.

  179. ‘ok… who employed the Caterham designer…?’

  180. Britalian Stallion
    4th February 2012, 23:47

    Fernando: Whats with this nose? I thought Prost was sacked over 20 years ago, don’t tell me he sent in a self-portrait and the design team decided to model it on him..

  181. ” stop stop stop put the cover back fernando it’s undone”

  182. “ctrl z, ctrl z!!”

    1. why did I press save?

  183. Fernando: “I’ve heard of cup holders, but a drinks tray?”

  184. “Ok, allow me to present Giovanni Duck, the brother of Donald Duck, sponsored by Disney!!”

  185. Whitmarsh: “Ok we’re in the enterainment business, but noone told me it’s Comendy Central.”

  186. Whitmarsh: “Ok we’re in the entertainment business, but noone told me it’s Comendy Central.”

  187. Who tacked on the Prost-thesis?

  188. “Why is Kimi laughing hysterically?”

  189. “Remember: don’t drink and design”

  190. Alonso: “Someone ring Lego, I think we got one of theirs?” Massa: “Errr… I think this is ours…”

  191. “The snow’s been so heavy in Maranello for a while so we designed the car out of anything left in the factory.”

  192. Hope they didn’t so much lego on the back…

  193. David Williams
    5th February 2012, 6:43

    What the

  194. “Erm, Filipe, should we put it back on?”

  195. i’s gonna be legend wait for it………………………………..ugly! Legend-ugly!

  196. “Oh, I think we’ll have to change the prancing horse to a donkey this year”
    “that anorexic stripper at the launch party last night had more curves than this”

  197. It is finally revealed that the prancing horse has a nose injury.

  198. After many questions by the public and the press, Ferrari have had to issue a statement insisting that the F2012 is not a joke.

  199. Massa, ” Why are there two seats?”

    Alonso, “Bagsie the cockpit!”

  200. Alonso: “Ok, now I understand why they pay me 90 mil euro”

  201. “Felipe, please stop crying”

  202. Sing along everybody – My lovely horse, running through the fields. I want to feed you sugar lumps and jump you over ……(wait I’ve got this bit) …… fence”

  203. David Brinkman
    5th February 2012, 12:23

    Christ Fernando it’s got “Hit Lewis here” on the nose.

  204. Massa: Damn! Thats one ugly nose
    Alonso: Just ignore it and keep pulling

  205. Fernando : I’m really relaxed

    Felipe : I think i need to stay cool Rob, Baby?

  206. omg….Our very own F1 Hummer….

  207. “Careful, Fernando, you might break something.”

    “Don’t worry – I broke the nose in half earlier, and nobody even noticed.”

  208. Ferrari released new moto this week:

    “If it’s not a right angle, it’s a wrong angle.”

  209. ……this isn’t ours, its an F1 Hummer….

  210. Look Filipe … you broke it before we even got to race it !

  211. “Oh, I miss Robert even more”

  212. Felipe remember you have to let me remove my side first!


  214. Massa’Fernando there must be some mistake here, this must be a Lego built replica’.
    Alonso ‘This must be a joke. Where is Tombasis’.

  215. Remember Felipe, this dog is for life, not just for Christmas.

  216. TheGreatTeflonso
    9th February 2012, 20:09

    Alonso – “Tombazis, Newey is faster than you. Do you understand?”

  217. “Oh look Nando…its a double-decker bus!”

  218. It was finally revealed by the two Ferrari drivers; Chris De Burgh was indeed dancing cheek to cheek under the Lady In Red’s dress.

  219. Craig Butterworth
    11th February 2012, 10:30

    “Oh dear put the cover back on!! Quick!!”

  220. “Jesus Christ, I thought they were having us on when they said the car was designed by a Malaysian.”

  221. O look felipe u could not c the nose on the last car haw you gona manige naw

  222. rob smedley ‘felipe baby, stay cool!!’

  223. I think this is a real great post. Really Cool.

  224. Fernando: “Ohh we’re just unveiling the wrong car.. this is from LEGO…”

  225. “Lego hired the two actual Ferrari F1 drivers to unveil their new 1:1 Ferrari F1 model”

  226. Alonso’s like- “Oughh ,I can’t look..”

  227. “Guys, you put the bladdy snow plow machine here”

  228. Oh my !!!…. well at least it looks better than the Fiat Multipla Schumi had to drive in commercials

  229. Slackbladder
    2nd March 2012, 8:53

    “and The Red Cape will flow from just behind the drivers shoulders….”

  230. Felipe says


  231. The drivers practice re-packing the Hamilton Collision Restraint Airbag in Felipe’s car.

    1. ronald plain
      11th March 2012, 6:10

      love it!

  232. ronald plain
    11th March 2012, 6:10

    That’s definitely a “Roman Nose”…… hmmm, did they move the factory?

  233. ronald plain
    11th March 2012, 6:12

    Do you think Lewis will like his new crying towel?

    Dunno, the red might upset him.

    Oh I don’t think so. Kimi says he’s color blind. Can’t tell red from green.

  234. “Erm. Luca. Gonna need to get the engineers in. Theres a dent right there in the nose.”

  235. FM: Hmmmm, what that hump?
    FA: I don’t know. Just smile for the cam!

    1. oops sorry. it was supposed to be “What’s that hump?” :D

  236. jacob.stanton
    28th April 2012, 18:12

    what this car will not win a thing it has step that makes the car go slower than it should and mclarens car is much better because I can hear them shouting because their car is brilliant so thats going to bad for us than it will for them

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