Sebastian Vettel, Michael Schumacher, Melbourne, 2012

Caption Competition 11: Schumacher and Vettel

Caption CompetitionPosted on | Author Keith Collantine

Sebastian Vettel, Michael Schumacher, Melbourne, 2012

Sebastian Vettel and Michael Schumacher swap notes ahead of this year’s Australian Grand Prix in today’s Caption Competition.

Between them they have nine world championships and 112 Grand Prix victories.

So what are they talking about in this picture? It’s up to you to decide. Come up with the best caption you can think of and post it in the comments.

Remember to look out for a selection of the best in tomorrow’s Comment of the Day in the daily round-up.

Caption Competition


Browse all previous Caption Competitions

Image ?? Daimler/Hoch Zwei

125 comments on “Caption Competition 11: Schumacher and Vettel”

  1. SV: I’ll swap you 1 look at my nosebox for 1 look at your front wing..

  2. The car is just way too good man, i actually dont need to do anything. shame it isnt like that this year…

  3. Vettel: “I win two World Championships, and suddenly I’m taken over by this overwhelming desire to crash into whoever happens to be between me and a race win.”

    Schumacher: “Yeah, I know what that feels like.”

    1. thats the best one so far

  4. tattsbrah (@xbarrettmatex)
    7th April 2012, 11:59

    Vettel: “So I told him, ‘Mate, we’re both equals in this team!’ “

    1. Hah, melikes!

    2. This for sure :)

    3. UNBELIEVABLE LOLZA

    4. win here

    5. Wow! This is gonna be hard to top!

    6. best by far!

  5. MS: Glad I was out of the way, I think my front wing would cost a bit more to repair than Karthikeyen’s.

    As a side note one of the suggestions that my spellcheck gives for Karthikeyen is Penny-Farthing, would HRT be quicker with one of them ?

  6. Devil's Trill
    7th April 2012, 12:02

    Darth Schumacher: “Join me, and together we can rule the calendar as father and son!”

    1. Haha, that is so bad. Yet it is also the most awesome thing I’ve ever read. :D

  7. MS: it’s just a jump to the left
    SV: and then a step to the ri..ii..ii..ight
    MS: with you’re hands on your hips
    Etc

    1. Oh my…. Dammit Janet!…

  8. SV: My both fingers are talk of the town

  9. Vettel: “Have you seen Lotus’ pit box? They covered the garage with sand so that Romain would know where to park it.”

  10. SV: I swear my sunglasses were In my hand a minute ago.

    1. Continuity Errors: The failure of modern films.

  11. Germans: easily amused

  12. Vettel: “Ten bucks says the winning caption has nothing to do with cucumbers.”

    Schumacher: “Then how do you expect to win? Appeal to Keith’s sense of humour?”

    Vettel: “No. His wallet.”

    1. @prisoner-monkeys I think this is the first ‘meta’ entry we’ve had – nice try!

      1. @keithcollantine – So, about that bribe …

  13. The underside photographer syndrome : Caused by an unimaginable urge to take pictures of the underside of things in order to reveal secrets hitherto unkonwn.

    1. The underside photographer syndrome : Caused by an unimaginable urge to take pictures of the underside of things in order to reveal secrets hitherto unknown*.

  14. the issue of Barain is no laughing matter……….. apperently

  15. Jamie Green
    7th April 2012, 12:20

    “Go on Michael, let me see those neck muscles”

    1. Nothing says psychopath quite like smiling with your entire face and neck.

  16. MS: This is what you will look like in 20 years time!!!
    SV: ARE YOU KIDING ME?????

  17. Chris (@eddie4102000)
    7th April 2012, 12:28

    And then they made me their champion. Which was nice.

  18. SV: “Isn’t it time to finally get some proper shades dude?”

  19. To the tune of Bob Marleys jamin: We’re Germans, Germans, hope you like Germans too.

  20. SV: “It’s easy! Just get up early each morning, and put your towel on the top step of the podium!”

    1. Haha… I can just imagine them saying that.

      So stereotypically German :P

    2. hahaha, love this one

  21. SV: ‘…..its like comparing cucumbers and oranges isnt it?’

  22. “This is my united states of whatever”
    (Schumacher just listening and laughing)

    Seb: He said I was a crybaby, and I was like, YEAH! WHATEVER!

    Theme song…

    Seb: And the F1 public said it was my fault and I was like, YEAH! WHATEVER!

    End theme…

  23. SV : you do fly with your wing on the straight
    MS : for sure and without redbull help so to say…

  24. hungaroringhitchhiker
    7th April 2012, 13:09

    “Wow Michael, you’ve taken so much care of your physical condition that you forgot to take care of your teeth !”

  25. “Can you BELIEVE all the money we get paid to do this??”

  26. Vettel: “So, does this make YOU Ralf now?”

  27. SV: ‘ yeah I watch Glee too….and everyone still thinks im straight! ‘

  28. VET: “So what’s happened with your nose?
    MSC: “…look, I have a lot of money, I deserve a bit of surgery!”

  29. MSC: You know if you want to be as good as me you have to now take a non winning team and win another 5 WDC.

    1. Haha, nice one! :D

  30. Newey says I have to eat these baked beans to improve exhaust gas flow to my diffuser.

  31. It’s Adrian, he’s on the wrong soup.

  32. Seven time Formula 1 world champion Michael Schumacher sharing a laugh with Pop Idol & RBR fan Justin Bieber

    1. or VET: ‘ she slapped me when I told her i wasnt Justin Bieber! ‘

  33. Sebastian: “Remember when it was you always winning?”
    Michael: “Ah, those were the days”

  34. (Read with a false german accent. ja!)
    Vell Michael, I have zis cunning plan.
    Ve vill take two German Panzer tanks, install ze Mercedes top-secret DRS system and fuel them vith ze special Red Bull formula to give zem vings. Ve vill blow ze opposition into tiny little pieces & ze very best part is that Mark & Nico won’t dare to protest ja!

  35. where’s the page on who won the last contest? I think I missed it!

    And my contribution to this one…

    SV: so yeah dude, i’m going for all of your records!
    MS: *thinks to himself if a frontwing is worth the keeping of records, concludes that it is, and plans to plough into seb next race*

  36. SV: Man, you’re looking fantastic for your age…
    MS: Thanks… well I’ve been working out!

  37. sv.why r u so slow? msc.i was never fast but it looks so,cause in my time there was no proper competition!!!

  38. SV- So,I overtake that HRT and then I don’t understand how the w-duct works?? ?
    MS- Hahaha,good one,almoast got me on that one.

  39. Michael teaches Seb the face to pull if the media ask him about another collision with a backmarker.

  40. Nice sunglasses, I can see myself right in front of me

  41. Vet: “..and he tried to blame ME!”
    Sch: “hahaha what did mein fuhrer have to say about it..?”
    Vet ” sent our manager down there didn’t he..”

    1. what did mein fuhrer have to say about it..?”

      @keithcollantine I’m not German but, isn’t this one offensive? I’d like to see what you think about it

      1. Don’t mention the war!

  42. xeroxpt (@)
    7th April 2012, 14:56

    We’re screwed! Right hAhAh…

  43. SV: “Because I use this finger to celebrate?”
    MSC: “Oh, really? I pose like this…”

  44. NobodyYouKnow
    7th April 2012, 16:10

    SV – And then he cuts across and ruins my race
    MS – Happened to me in Adelaide 94
    SV – …
    MS – And again in Jerez 97
    SV – Did you apologize for any of the incidents?
    MS – You know

  45. Sebastian: “Do you think you could tell those backmarkers not to get in my way?”
    Michael: “…sure…”

  46. VET: “I bet you he will lose from pole again…”
    Micheal: “Yeah LOL! That must be the talent and excitement the media are always going on about”

  47. SV: So yeah, I had to tell the team to build me a car that wasn’t better than everyone else’s.
    MS: Ahh, yes, I did that in 2005 as well…

  48. MS: I admired you, Seb. You are good in showing finger, be it win or lose.
    SV: Yeah!! Mike. Somehow, one of it naturally stick out for different occasion. Hee….

  49. Believe me! I’m gonna flash my finger this year ;)

  50. It all started in 2008, when I retired from the first four races and Gerhard told me to pull my finger out…

    1. and you weren’t there to help me like I was to help you after you crashed with Montoya (2003)

  51. “.. so then, I stormed into the garage insisting that he tried to kill me. He was so scared he kept his helmet on! Baseless and overblown accusations really keep the heat off!”

    “Ah, that’s where I went wrong, next time I’ll try the attempted murder angle, they’ll think I’m so insane that they’re bound to leave me alone!”

  52. SV: This photographer wants to know where my finger has been.
    MS: Looking at the standings, we can pretty much figure where you’ve been keeping it Seb.

  53. PJ (@pjtierney)
    7th April 2012, 18:00

    SV: “And then Mark called me a kid with no experience!”

  54. Sebastian: “Basically, I do the finger at a jaunty angle to try and be different from everyone.”
    Michael: “So you’re saying you’re number forward slash?”

  55. David Hodges
    7th April 2012, 18:17

    MS: This was the exact position I used when you were conceived my Son!

    1. …When I was in the club and already up to speed, while you were only just getting started in life. Luckily Sutil was far too young for it back then!

  56. “Tenner on Alonso leading after Malaysia?”
    “Oh come on, don’t be ridiculous!”

  57. Vettel “Why are we speaking in English..?”

  58. Vettel: “A few years older and you could almost be my Dad”

    Schumacher: “Yes but I have muscles, a wife, two children and 5 more titles than you”

  59. Schuey: Dont worry little waif, I Petronasman will guide you in your quest to become a 3 time Champ. Did my teeth glint when I said that???…

    1. Expecto Petronas!

      1. Schuey: You’ve certainly taken a step down this year.

  60. SB: Philippe Massa… Hahahah

    MS: hahahahahahahahah…..

    1. CarnivorousPope (@)
      7th April 2012, 19:52

      Felipe Massa

  61. *Advert*
    “Red Bulls new ‘Straw into your armpit’ drinking method certainly had the Germans amused”

  62. SV: Michael, I dont understand where you got that watch, you havent made it onto the podium yet!
    MS: Hehe, enjoy zis moment Sebastian, as I will enjoy my revenge…. at Turn 1 of the Chinese GP.

  63. Actually Michael, the Red Bull enema’s for Karthikeyan – but I can save some for Grosjean if you like.

  64. SV: ‘Is this drink at the right angle for good product placement…?’

  65. Vettel: “If Eddie Jordan comes into view, remind me to put my sunglasses on. I think his shirt will mess with my mind”

  66. She said I don’t need to wear the shades until I have wrinkles around my eyes.

  67. What in the world are you doing Michael?
    Ross said we might need new struts before the next race… so I’m trying some out. Look, look, this is my ‘Outta my way Sashay’.

  68. matthewf1 (@)
    7th April 2012, 21:51

    Wax on…wax off
    Paint the fence, Seb son

  69. F1 Fanatic get exclusive look at Bernie Ecclestone`s personal F1 snaps, but they all look all look a little,……shortsighted..:]

  70. SV – I like men in tighty whitey’s!!

  71. Schumacher laughs at Vettel saying he’ll beat his record…

  72. MS: yes as you can see I have complimented ze vatch wiv ze African bracelet to show that although on one hand i am like most Germans and depend on impecibble timing to get through the day with utmost efficiency, I also have flair and a crazzy spirit.

    SV: Flair is for the gays, take ze bracelet off and maybe you can drive like me!

  73. Oh, YOU’RE Michael Schumacher? I learned about you in history class.

  74. If you want to be in Petra Ecclestone’s next fashion show, you’ve gotta have the catwalk swing and hip swivel down pat.

  75. Ben (@unclerico)
    8th April 2012, 4:35

    F1 Driver: Heil Hitler!!!

    Other F1 Driver: I know right?!?

  76. MS: *smiles* Don’t come complaining to me (cry baby)…..

  77. S.V.: Some say that you have returned to F1.

    (sorry Michael, I’m your big fan, but it was impossible to restrain such commen.) :)

    1. Haha, one of the best comments so far IMHO.

      (Despite being a Schuey-Fan, too. ;) )

  78. SV: “Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!”
    MS: “There were zwei peanuts, walking down the straße, und one was ‘assaulted’… peanut.”

  79. SV: Seriously Michael, the team owners actually expect me to drink this stuff! MS: And how much are they paying you? SV: Uh, not sure exactly, but it’s quite a bit. MS: Drink up kid, drink up.

  80. You lose that bloody great watch, Michael and you’ll gain 2 seconds a lap

  81. It took Vettel a while before he realised it was a cartboard version of Schumacher.

  82. Cameltoe’s a bitch eh?

  83. SV: And this psycho reporter apparently uses a sneaky disguise to peep into drivers’ conversations standing right next to them with a camera hidden in his bag.
    MS: Haha, you’re kidding me, right?

  84. “If I’m the new Schumacher, does that make you the old Vettel?”

  85. Paul Piggott
    9th April 2012, 11:48

    Vettel: “I use this fingure when I win a race, and this one to signal to backmarkers who don’t move over”

  86. Vettel: “Michael, what’s this I’m holding in my right hand? I can feel it, but I can’t see it…”

    Michael: “Oh, that? 91 race victories, and… oh, move your hand like that again… that’s what she said.”

  87. SV: “You know that German DVD that DC said he’d watched? Well, I decided to rent it the other day and, despite being deeply disturbed by my mother’s role as lead actress, I must say your acting talents were as good as they come!”

    MS: “She was your mother?! I had no idea! She was a smashing actress, it’s just a shame her career came to a shuddering halt about 8 or 9 months after that film’s release…”

    (A few minute’s pause for piece-putting-togethering…)

    SV: “Dad?”
    MS: “Son?”
    SV: “DAD!!”
    MS: “SON!!”

    *Photo is captured*

    (SV and MS both embrace one another and walk off side-by-side into the Sepang sunset to a cover of Sister Sledge’s “We Are Family” performed by Kraftwerk).

  88. «Sebastian, hol schon mal den Wagen!»

  89. James Healey
    10th April 2012, 20:36

    MS: Lewis is going to hand you your ass on a plate this year mate, chin up…

    SB: How do you know?

    MS: Trust me, I know what I’m on about.

    SB: *mutters under his breath* I won two world championships..

    MS: What was that?

  90. SV : I just called him an idiot. Next time i’d punch him in the face.
    MS : Now you’re talking

  91. Bertland Imai
    11th April 2012, 5:00

    SV: C’mon who do you thinks going to win eh? c’mon …

    MS: HAH ha ha ha you da man Vetts, you da man! (Through gritted grin) cocky son of a b*tch …

  92. jacob.stanton
    28th April 2012, 18:49

    by the way I’m going to overtake you so I’m 1 champion ahead

    michel really well you wouldn’t want me to win another champion

    well that would do if you did

  93. SV:I’m taking over your record !

    MS:What are you saying i’m in the groove !

  94. Brianna Fuller
    21st June 2012, 14:14

    Vettel: I was taking a sharp left turn and as im going this big hawk swoops down and I get the best glimpse of it. It was quite unique and i was distracted for a moment until next thing i know, im thinking about our nine world champions! Yay!
    Schumacher: Oh reallly, talk about luck! and thats awesome, im so pumped!

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