David Coulthard, Weehawken police, 2012

Caption Competition 19: David Coulthard

Caption CompetitionPosted on | Author Keith Collantine

David Coulthard, Weehawken police, 2012

Former F1 driver turned BBC commentator and DTM racer David Coulthard has been in America doing a demonstration run for Red Bull this week.

This involved a visit from the Weehawken, New Jersey police force – and seemed a perfect picture for a Caption Competition.

So share your comedy caption in the comments below and look out for the pick of the best in the daily round-up.

Caption Competition

Browse all previous Caption Competitions

Image via Red Bull on Twitter

109 comments on “Caption Competition 19: David Coulthard”

  1. DC: “I’m a racing driver, don’t you think I know where the steering wheel is…”

    1. First one wins it, for me :)

  2. “Who do you think you are, Lewis Hamilton?”

    1. That’s because of those burnouts right?

      1. It’s a reference to how Stirling Moss got pulled over by plods for speeding or something, and the officer said “Who do you think you are, Stirling Moss?”. He didn’t realise who he was talking to.

        1. Was actually a Citreon TV or VW Golf advert on in the 70s or 80s =)

  3. -I know I was going a bit too fast but otherwise I wouldn’t have enough downforce…

    1. Masterpiece.

    2. I really like this one, but i think I have a good one as well.
      Officer: Son, you had the stereo too loud.

  4. Officer: “get in there buddy!”…..
    DC: “wait a minute, I am DC” ….
    Officer: “Well, here is NJ, and you got yourself a ticket”

  5. “Sorry to bother you, Mr Coulthard. Someone mentioned doughnuts and we thought we’d better check it out.”

    1. Very good.

    2. Awesome!!!

  6. Officer: “Yeah yeah excuses, excuses. Mr. Coulthard, this picture is definitely you, right?, and look at the speed of your car 205mp/h. And now look at the sign right there in the corner. It says 35 right? What do you think that means?”

  7. DC: “Yes officer I saw the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you”

  8. “Sir I have official papers from the Queen of Eng…”
    “Queen of who?!”

  9. Welcome back to America.

  10. We came down to check out your coke bottle. Can you tell us how it works?

  11. Officer: “You did over 200mph in a 35 zone. Who do you actually think you are? A racing driver?”

    1. Nice one!

  12. DC: Why do you arrest me?
    Officer (Whiting): For causing a collision. So you will have a drive-through penalty.
    DC: What is that?
    Officer: What Pastor Maldonado does every race.

    1. Maybe you could do it like a fast food restaurant… Drive Thru Penalty (no advertising or otherwise intended)!

    2. nice!!! i like!!!

  13. Officer: “Get into the car!”
    DC gets into the car.
    Officer: “Now could you teach me how drive faster, I want to be the quickest cop in road chases!”

  14. Where are your tail lights sir?

  15. Cop : “Sir, we are stopping you because we believe your Jawline is illegal”

    DC : “wHHA… ? ”

    Cop : ” Please try and put you face through this legality template… ” *holds up one of those templates like you get in the postoffice*

  16. Police: “You were going 300 clicks!”
    DC: “Was that too slow?”

  17. Police: “You’re getting a ticket for that. Now how do you spell Coulthard?”
    DC: “Yeah, it’s H-A-M-I-L-T-O-N”

    1. davidnotcoulthard
      19th August 2012, 11:27

      Cop: ” “HAMILTON”?That doesn’t seem to read “Coulthard”, ah well, I suppose that’s how they spell it in Scottish Gaelic….”

  18. Todd (@braketurnaccelerate)
    18th August 2012, 11:15

    Cop: “Here’s my patrol car. It can do 140mph”
    Coulthard: “Oh…. That’s nothing, I was just doing 190 through the tunnel in my F1 car!”
    Cop: “F1 car? What’s that?”
    Coulthard: “A race car. You know, like on a race track”
    Cop: “OHHHH. NASCAR!!”
    Coulthard: “Noooo… F1 Car”
    Cop: “Yea…. NASCAR!”
    Coulthard: “Ok… NASCAR!”

  19. davidnotcoulthard
    18th August 2012, 11:21

    “Mr. Policeman, I, as Red Bull’s representative, am arresting you for disturbing Sebastian Vettel during his run at New Jersey a few weeks ago. The fine will be US$666,777,666 and you’ll have 6 days to pay.”

  20. DC was soon to find out, offering his ‘services’ to Policemen in the US didn’t mean the same as in the UK.

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