Michael Schumacher, Mercedes, 2012

Caption Competition 20: Michael Schumacher

Caption CompetitionPosted on | Author Keith Collantine

Michael Schumacher, Mercedes, 2012

Michael Schumacher will make his 300th appearance in an F1 race this weekend – becoming the second driver to do so after Rubens Barrichello.

Hopefully it’ll go better than his 299th Grand Prix appearance, which was spoiled when he lined up in the wrong grid slot in Hungary.

Can you think of a good caption for the picture above? Post your funniest suggestion in the comments.

As usual a pick of the best will feature in the daily round-up.

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Image ?? Mercedes/Hoch Zwei

141 comments on “Caption Competition 20: Michael Schumacher”

  1. Kartavya Bhagat
    25th August 2012, 10:08

    You feel I’m No. 1 in DNF ??
    Try telling this to my 7 DWC’s, they think of me in some other way..>!!!

  2. Michael phone home…

  3. Hey, Sebastian. Pull my finger. You can hear my blown diffuser.

    There. I got in first with the F joke.

    1. I lol’ed so hard when I read this. :P

    2. Mwahahaaah :-) ftw!

  4. I knew I was in the wrong gird slot, I was just making sure Charlie Whiting was doing his job.

  5. Unlike Lance Armstrong, I won my championships without drugs.

  6. So it’s left at the first corner, then 2 rights

  7. Look, this is an a$$

    1. pun intended

  8. Hey, can somebody read this screen to me please? The font is too small .. it almost looks as if I’m not first. That can’t be right. Young girl, would you bring my glasses please? Oh its you Nico, sorry!

    (Someone had to make a bad old person joke eventually)

    1. And a nico joke in there too, can’t say you didn’t make an effort @bananarama!

  9. Ok, Sebs 2 + Fernandos 2 + Kimis 1 + Lewis’ 1 + Jensons 1 =7!! It’s taken 5 of them to equal my record!! These young ones only think their good!!

    1. applause :P

  10. “You might have got Lance’s, but you ain’t touching mine!”

    1. @nick-uk Topical! I like it ;)

  11. matthewf1 (@)
    25th August 2012, 10:30

    ‘My hand, it’s glowing, my powers are finally returning! Hey you, Rosberg, I shall be No1 again!’

  12. “How many points are you going to score this weekend, Michael?”

    1. Mean but LOL…

  13. Michael starts Vettel’s no.1 finger but realises he is not the no.1 F1 driver anymore.

  14. This can’t be correct…..it says I’m not first!

  15. Oh, that was my grid spot.

    1. This one gets my vote ;)

  16. Matt (@agentmulder)
    25th August 2012, 10:41

    “The fourth line? Sure. S-E-B I-S F-A-S-T-E… hang on a minute…”

  17. “Now what did I sit in here for?” Michael has another senior moment.

  18. “back in the days you didn’t have to care about grid positions, you just always started first”

    1. FlyingLobster27
      25th August 2012, 12:30


  19. “is this one with onion rings or french fries?”

  20. “Ah, so I have to press that button? Things sure were much simpler back in my days.”

  21. Mechanic, your fired!

    1. Like this.

  22. Ross: “Micahel, please concentrate on your lap, the Vettel finger can wait until after the race!”

  23. davidnotcoulthard
    25th August 2012, 10:59

    “Look at the TV! YES, Ross, I really want those things,…..even though they’re Michelins…..”

  24. MS: ”Does it say there that I am first?”
    Ross Brawn: ”No Michael. You just think it.”

  25. One Big Mac please!

  26. “Watch my finger, Jock. You are getting sleepy. Veeeery sleepy, Jock. When I snap my fingers, you will move Nico onto a three-stop strategy.”

  27. “Ok I’ll have a chicken chow mein, special fried rice, sweet and sour duck and a carton of Vimto please.”

  28. Michael Schumacher: “Heheheh, Schumacher is in P17!”

    Ross Brawn: “Michael, that’s not referring to Ralf …”

    1. hahaha really good!

  29. Ross Brawn : “…Ok Michael I know we bombed on the Double DRS system but there is no use pointing fingers at anyone now is there !!! “

  30. I’m the real 1, remember that!

  31. Norbert Haug: “Does anybody here think that Michael Schumacher’s comeback has been a success?”


    Norbert Haug: “Does anybody else here think that Michael Schumacher’s comeback has been a success?”

    1. Haha, funny.

    2. My winner.

  32. Back in my day there was only one rule – Beat Damon by any means necessary!

  33. Is this how you’re supposed to overtake Rubens?

  34. “No Michael, you’re the second on this one beaten by your dear Rubens, you owe him this one”

  35. He did this and then said my prostate was fine.

    1. Chris (@tophercheese21)
      26th August 2012, 0:19

      HAHA! +1

  36. “Does it look like my fingers up his bum yet? A little forward?”

  37. Ohhh i see, so THAT’s my grid spot…

  38. or: “Now if only i can find the right grid spot this time…hmmm”

  39. Car not starting – note the point

  40. “that’s how I had to sit while the painting was done in the Sistine Chapel”

    1. Excellent, definitely my fav

  41. So is now the right moment to turn my engine off?

  42. Alright. The blonde, the skinny redhead and the brunette with glasses meet me in my trailer after the race. Oh, and you too on the end. Cora likes fat girls.

  43. is that smoke coming out the williams garage??

  44. Stumped by his lack of pace, Michael gives himself out.

  45. Please, just one more time?

    1. JimmyTheIllustratedBlindSolidSilverBeachStackapopolis III
      25th August 2012, 15:10


      1. He’s not celebrating.

  46. E, I, P, Y, Q M, A, Y, B, E, O, D, Z, N, E, X, T, P, D, A, T, I, M, E.

    You know guys, one can take these pre-race eye-tests as an insult.

    1. This is gets my vote.

  47. Someone call Rubens and tell him im going to beat his record for most Grandprix starts next year , He’s going to be my number 2 here too

  48. “Hey you, have you seen my gloves?”

  49. Rick Hendrikse
    25th August 2012, 14:52

    YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!

  50. “Horrayyyy!! ..why am I sixth? It says sixth yet I got pole!”

  51. What’s that 18th. I can’t read that far, I think i’m getting old.

  52. I am still no.1 among the over-forty-years-old in F1. In your face, Pedro

  53. “After THAT last race, there’s nowhere to go for me but up – up Eau Rouge!”

  54. Now, how to get to menu 13?

    1. JimmyTheIllustratedBlindSolidSilverBeachStackapoplis III
      25th August 2012, 16:11

      I believe it’s the same path you would use to select a forum name of a long forgotten sore looser. ^^

      1. And a friend of Michael.

        1. That hurts.
          I think I change to Herbert, or maybe Barichello…

  55. Gav (@foxtrotoscar21)
    25th August 2012, 16:02

    “So this finger doesn’t go anywhere near the ‘engine off’ button, correct?”

  56. Hey, I know that guy!

  57. I have never seen that guy here before, who is he?

  58. Alright, 1, 2, 3, 4…
    This is my spot on the grid, hopefully I won’t miss it this time

  59. Still wonder why we call Vettel baby Schum, he’s not like me …

  60. Look I play with the video and will scratch the butt of my engineer …

  61. ‘Question, who told Frank Williams to re-hire Montoya under a pseudonym?’

  62. I’ve practised my finger enough. When am I going to get to use it?

  63. Is this broken? It says maldonado on pole!?!

  64. totorthegreat
    25th August 2012, 17:48

    Garçon one coffee please!

  65. Bored during a rainy free practice session, Michael Schumacher begins counting his Grand Prix starts using his fingers.

  66. Michael to mechanic having a snack, “You spill one more egg and you are dead!”

  67. Schumacher: “I don’t know what’s wrong with my finger, but no matter what i touch with it, I break something”
    Ross: “Michael, even my finger on the ENGINE-OFF button had made the engine stop. Its done like that on purpose”

  68. “Yeah yeah guys it might say Maldonardo on the screen, but it is deffinetely Montoya! He just seems to have learned how to crash into people and pretend like it was an accident.”

  69. Now Nico, you use this finger to turn on the traction control.

  70. Michael counts his post-return podiums.

    1. Ouch. Nice.

  71. Getting a Brawn finger used to make me champion…

  72. Martin Dalton
    25th August 2012, 19:17

    …I’d like a number 9 meal, with a large sprite and an apple pie please!

  73. Jayfreese (@)
    25th August 2012, 19:18

    “300! That’s what I’m talking about!”

  74. Can someone tell me why I came out of retirement?

  75. “I’m too old for this ****”

  76. Looks like rain, to me.

  77. Is that my AMG getting towed? Damn Corrina !@%%%%

  78. Is that JV…. lost all his hair.. poor thing !

  79. JimmyTheIllustratedBlindSolidSilverBeachStackapopolis III
    25th August 2012, 20:18

    hahahaha look jock!, I told you pigs can fly.

    those are birds michael… and here are your contacts.

  80. ..19 and 20, so if I stay into 2014 I’ll crush ALL of Rubinho’s little records!

  81. I’ll have a babysham

  82. And it is with great regret…

    Rosberg… You’re fired!

  83. “These silver darty things are all nice when they don’t fall apart, but I tell you Ross, I want one of those Red Bulls”

  84. “i know at least one of these drivers was born before i started driving…ah there’s one!”

    “rice and shrimp, rice and chicken……i’ll just have the number 7.”

    “hey! put that back, nascar is on!”

  85. “Oh I see, it was P19 not P17….oh well, even the best make mistakes!!”

  86. I’ll have a Red Bull please. Oh, and a drink too.

  87. one pole this season … next up, one win, at my favourite circuit. hopefully it won’t be taken away from me like my pole was.

  88. Hey! Who reaplaced my name with Ralf!??

  89. MSC ordering a pirelli special.

  90. When you forget the contact lens at home it is not easy to focus

  91. Guys, relax! My finger had been 91 times up ;) -> ( discussing “vettel finger”)

  92. wait a second…I should retire again? shouldn’t I?

  93. Todd (@braketurnaccelerate)
    26th August 2012, 5:20

    Hey you! (mechanic) Don’t screw this one up again!

  94. That guy on the tv sure looks old doesn’t he?

  95. “I’ll have one Quarter Pounder with Cheese please”

  96. That awkward moment …
    When you practice in the garrage your former post-race gestures

  97. Stay nico….. staaaayyy… good boy, now rollover, play dead!

  98. Engineer: Right! Michael KERS is fully charged
    Michael: I know!
    Engineer: How would you know this?
    Michael: My hand is glowing and my finger is erect!

  99. Hey Ross, its your mum!

  100. “297, 298, 299, 300! yep that cake will do”

  101. two frankfurter to go and a black beer please !!!

  102. Wait…that old guy on the monitor looks familiar.

  103. “Q3? But…. but…… normally I watch Antiques Roadshow now on that screen round about now…. Bernie?! Rooooooooooosssssssssss!”

  104. David Lincoln
    26th August 2012, 22:33

    Ein Bier bitte.

  105. “Pull my finger.””

  106. eenie meenie miney mo, this is where my car will blow.

    I’m the first one to admit this might be a little harsh considering his total DNFs this year….

  107. I’m watching you, Alonso. I want my Ferrari back…..

  108. one moment, Herr Ecclestone…vee can catch zee seniors’ buffet, but i have ein Mercedes to schtuff into zee wall first…

    1. zer gud ya

  109. It ain’t working, im gonna try ‘The Kimi’…….”Una cerveza, por favor!”

  110. Hey where is the start button? Man I am getting old.

  111. ‘ I want what he’s having’

  112. So that’s where I put the car, and that spot was the correct one, ok….again….. I put the car there and the right grid spot was there….. ok, wait, again…..

  113. Legacies are overrated anyway!

  114. – Can i help you sir?
    – Yeeeas, one championship worthy f1 racecar please

  115. “Can I at least finish one more race this season, ONE!”

  116. Michael sustained an injury whilst away on holiday during the summer shutdown. His physio said it was a form of R.S I. due to over-use of cash machines.

  117. Michael: “It’s 21 years since my debut… (daydreams) hmm hang on I’m P21 – need to go out on a new set of options!”

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