Caption Competition 31: Pirelli and Mercedes

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Mercedes are in hot water after their rivals discovered they conducted a 1,000km tyre test for Pirelli in secret ahead of the Monaco Grand Prix.

Nico Rosberg went on to win the next round of the championship in Monaco.

Submit your funniest caption suggestion for the picture above in the comments and a selection of the best will be chosen for tomorrow’s round-up.

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Image © Pirelli/LAT

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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108 comments on “Caption Competition 31: Pirelli and Mercedes”

  1. Paul’s buddy – I think i saw this car somewhere

  2. I will never win it. but i cannot wait for the winner

  3. Dion (@infinitygc)
    1st June 2013, 19:02

    Ah, they grow up so fast. It only seems like yesterday they had tire-issues…

    1. hahahahaha

  4. So, should we go for the silver?

  5. Paul’s buddy – Ooh! Deja Vu!

  6. “That driver has completely lost his marbles!”

    1. I do like this one @mach1 :D

  7. – what car is that?
    – I don’t know, looks like a Sauber.

  8. Check my pulse, I think I see a Mercedes leading…

  9. Pirelli still can’t work out how they were spotted at the Mercedes “secret test”. They had strictly informed all staff to remove their name badges to avoid being identified in the crowds.

  10. Degrading tires weren’t making Pirelli’s ‘hook an F1 car with a crane’ game any easier

    1. Like that @chris_browning, puts picture again in a different context, and away from the tyre-ing tiregates :) I LOLed.

    2. @chris_browning
      Oh that is brilliant.

    3. The marshals at massanet were much better at this game –
      http://www.addaxteam.com/imagenes/galeria/79/2947/g/_X5J7833.jpg

      1. GP2 is easy!

    4. Traverse (@)
      1st June 2013, 21:27

      Genuinely fantastic caption from left field, Well done @chris_browning

  11. “Once we understand these tyres more, which we will eventually get to, then I think another win is definitely on the books.” Lewis Hamilton.

    Sometimes reality is funnier than fiction.

  12. Aditya (@adityafakhri)
    1st June 2013, 19:20

    Dear Mr. Wolff, we’re waiting the AMGs to be arrive on our home by next week.
    p.s. you are welcome.

  13. “I told you shrinking the Mercedes would cause a significant improvement in its tyre wear”

  14. “So you remembered to invite all the teams right?”

  15. Turns out their idea to put old Bridgestones with Pirelli stickers was good…

  16. Pirelli-guy 1: “Lewis or Nico?”
    Pirelli-guy 2: “You still can’t distinguish them after all those kilometres??”

  17. – These Pirelli tests are so secret !
    – Yeah. My wife thinks I’m cheating her, and she asks me to divorce.
    – We should tell the press, then.
    – Sure.

  18. Paul, did I hear that Mercedes are pursuing another one of our technical engineers?

  19. I’m tired of all of this

  20. – “so, have you been to the bookie yesterday?”
    – “yes sir, everything according to the plan”

  21. we’re winning !!!

  22. “Come on, Nico, hit tyre trouble! We’re both screwed if you win this thing.”

  23. “Least he could do is wave… ungrateful *******.” ;)

    1. Steve McGrath (@)
      1st June 2013, 21:11

      Lol..!!

    2. Brilliant.

  24. Following the secret tyre test, Pirelli at long last acquired two trackside seats at the sold-out Monaco Grand Prix.

  25. “Sir,Please let go of my hand, I know you’re edgy each time a Mercedes goes past but I think we sorted those de-lamination issues out at that test last week.”

  26. “It’s not going to look good if Nico wins this is it?”
    “No, no it isn’t”
    “I thought so. *sigh*”

  27. Dude, who invited that guy from Red Bull?
    Not me, damn, what’s he doing here?
    Hire him…. now!

    1. Good one!

  28. ‘So it’s agreed, we switch sides halfway through the FIA investigation’.

  29. “Nico, this is not looking good. You can go faster now.”

  30. Steve McGrath (@)
    1st June 2013, 20:15

    #1 Is that his last lap?
    #2 Yup
    #1 78 laps and a Merc still in front eh??
    #2 Yup
    [Silence]
    #1 These Pirelli shirts of ours really crease up don’t they?
    #2 Yeah Much prefer the Mercedes gear we were wearing 3 weeks ago…
    #1 [Cough]..shh!!!! [Cough]
    [Silence]

  31. In the round up:
    After finishing the 1000 km test, and due to their excessive degradation rates of the tyres and the unexpected extra sets of tyres that were brought to the circuit during the test, Mercedes were asked by Pirelli to pay for half of the sets of tyres used. However, and after Mercedes refused to do that, Pirelli threatened them to expose the test story to the public to put them in trouble, which was the case in the end.

  32. OmarR-Pepper (@)
    1st June 2013, 20:31

    “ok, take a razor and make Nico’s tyres look worn”

  33. I knew we should have got some bait for this fishing trip…

  34. …so I said to Nico, “How are you going to treat the tyres?”
    He said he was just happy to have a good long “P” on them.
    And he’s winning – maybe he’s onto something?

  35. Music on headphones, The Beatles:
    “Listen,
    Do you want to know a secret?,
    Do you promise not to tell?, whoa oh, oh…”

  36. “So my girlfriend keeps telling me I’m being secretive. I don’t get her. First of all she should’ve noticed I stayed at the pub after she left and I totally booked the hotel room for me and my mistress with my own name.”

  37. Traverse (@)
    1st June 2013, 21:37

    “Is that Rosberg or Hamilton?”

  38. Dion (@infinitygc)
    1st June 2013, 21:44

    Another one:
    Pirelli weren’t quite sure what the fuss was, since Mercedes had already hired dozens of their engineers before the test.

    1. Dion (@infinitygc)
      1st June 2013, 21:46

      *what the fuss was about

  39. #1: Whoa! How is Nico still leading? I thought Mercedes had some problems with their tyres.
    #2: That’s the mentality kid!

  40. Pirelli guy 1: “Exclusive offer – join F1 today and get free inseason testing for the first year.” Sounds good, right?
    Pirelli guy 2: Should add “Offer only applies to car manufacturers – VW, Toyota and BMW”. Remember, we always “act professionally, with transparency and in absolute good faith.”

  41. “Oh yeah, I can definitely see debris out there Paul… definitely”.

  42. Traverse (@)
    1st June 2013, 22:14

    Mr Right: “Hold my left hand, go on hold it, don’t be afraid to show our love in public”
    Mr Left: “I’m not afraid, I’m just worried that we won’t be able to adopt, what with my criminal record and past dealings with the Sith”
    Mr Right: “Adoption!? You’ve never mentioned this before…who did you want to adopt?”
    Mr Left: “Rosberg”
    Mr Right: “Yeah but, I’ve always wanted a girl…”
    Mr Left: “Exactly!”.

  43. “I think we need to woo the teams into voting us for a 2014 contract.”
    “Hmm, you’re right. Lets do it one team at a time.”

  44. “You’ll get a lap dance from Britney, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.”

  45. “I’d rather be at our calender shoot, right across the beach.”

  46. Hembery “We are not that bad, its the outlap and look at the state of those tyres”

  47. Mercedes hungry for success and starving for new tyres

  48. Yep, no worries Ross everyone else sent someone over to Rascasse but we’ll keep an eye out for you.

  49. Enjoy it while it lasts.

  50. “Ok our job is complete, we have hard , medium , soft, super-soft and Mercedes compounds “

  51. Paul (@frankjaeger)
    1st June 2013, 23:07

    “Wanna see a magic trick?”
    “Yeah sure..”
    “I bet I can make that car go faster without touching it.”
    “You’re on”

  52. Pirelli realise the tyre problem is worse than they thought, as Mercedes becomes the first Constructor to win the Monaco Grand Prix not knowing their lefts from their rights.

  53. “Be careful Nico, they are really fragile.”

    “So, did they offer to hire you yet?”

  54. Listen I’m telling you, no one knows !

  55. P.H: “Soak it up Lads this is the last time we’ll be coming here for a while….”

  56. So which job did Toto give you next year, Tyre Manager?

  57. You’re right Paul, it’s better we watch the race from here, rather than having Tapas on the boat Mercedes bought us across the way.

  58. Round and round and round they go, Nico hasn’t stopped yet, let’s hope nobody knows.

  59. “Do you think they will be more or less mad than they are now when they find out we’re giving them square tyres next year?’

  60. It seemed like yesterday when I saw that car at barcelona.

  61. Some time in the future …

    FOR SALE – Mercedes AMG Petronas F1W04

    – “Look, that 2013 Merc is for sale”
    – “Yes, it’s got just over 1000kms on the clock”

  62. And here we have the new set of Pirelli’s the company has chosen in order to avoid any further controversy.

  63. This doesn’t look good…

  64. – Today is the most boring race of the year…
    – (Yawn). Sure.
    – Pirelli tyres don’t add spice to the race…
    – (Yawn). Sure.

  65. “Now that one looks like a winner..”
    “Which one? The Merc?”
    “No, the blonde on the yacht.”

  66. Those harder tyres seem to be doing the trick… hopefully no one will notice

    1. Good one!

  67. It’s alexf1man’s birthday on Tuesday? I had no idea! Spent the last two weeks going through the Mercedes test data…

  68. Jack (@jackisthestig)
    2nd June 2013, 10:30

    “Anywhere around here I can put a bet on, Ive got a feeling about them!”

  69. Jack (@jackisthestig)
    2nd June 2013, 10:45

    “Thats a nice watch Paul, is it new?” “Cheers, yeah Toto Wolf just gave uuh uum I mean I found it.”

  70. that’s new

  71. Hembery”See that boat over there, Toto Wolff gave it as a present for choosing mercedes to test in barcelona”

  72. “Didn’t think so many people would show up for our RC car race …”

  73. 1000km makes me tyred.

  74. Q. Do you think Lewis would rather be beaten or drive a bad car.

    A. Ask Michael, He was both and at the same time! Har har

  75. You think the teams are angry now, wait until they find out about Nico’s re-badged Michelins…

  76. “So it’s dinner at Mercedes headquarters next week is it?”

  77. Pirrelli man – “What the hell?!? Why is Mercedes running their 2011 challenger for this race?!?!”

    1. I like it.

  78. ANother one just for kicks..

    Caption – Mercedes’ two new recruits see their hard work paying off

  79. Pirelli engineers maintain a studied indifference as David Coulthard plays a montage of all his Monaco podiums against the wall of his hotel, off camera.

  80. Rupert Richardson
    2nd June 2013, 18:11

    Oh, no! The Red Bull guy’s spotted our new tyres on the Merc. Pretend it didn’t happen…

  81. Jack (@jackisthestig)
    2nd June 2013, 18:37

    “All this ‘storm in a teacup’ talk is making me thirsty, go get us a brew!”

  82. Hey Paul, pssst, Do you think Rosberg would go for another tyre stop ? Coz if he doesn’t, we are screwed.

  83. Andre Furtado
    2nd June 2013, 21:43

    This ought to show them, we (Pirelli) aren’t the problem, the problems is their damn politics. Is the press release saying the usual it’s not our fault done yet?

  84. Yep, we’re boned.

  85. Hope they don’t go into the pirrelli garage

  86. One of the Pirelli guys on the radio – “thanks for the lovely silver shirts Mr Brawn, we added the Pirelli stickers, -so nobody will notice! – COME ON NICO!!!!!”

  87. “Is that the same car testing the pirelli’s” So we do have good tyres

  88. “These stick on Pirelli badges have done the trick havent they?”
    “Yeah you cant see any of the Mercedes logo underneath”

  89. Paul:That Damn Mercedes.Where is the tyre…….Oh wait,they use Bridgestones

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