Fernando Alonso, Ferrari. 2013

Caption Competition 35: Fernando Alonso

Caption CompetitionPosted on | Author Keith Collantine

Fernando Alonso, Ferrari. 2013

Here’s Fernando Alonso having fun with science in the run-up to the German Grand Prix.

Can you think up a witty caption for this picture?

Submit your funniest suggestion in the comments and a selection of the best will be chosen for next week’s round-up.

Caption Competition


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Image ?? Ferrari/Ercole Colombo

140 comments on “Caption Competition 35: Fernando Alonso”

  1. Chris (@tophercheese21)
    3rd August 2013, 10:39

    Alonso: “Voila! I have successfully created a new element! I call it: ‘Understeerionium’.”

    1. Automatic winner if you ask me. :P

    2. Understeerionium is brilliant! ha

    3. Definite contender.

    4. Come on you guys, why you all seem to enjoy mocking Teflonso despite his great acheatment?

  2. Luca di Montezemolo has punished Alonso for his latest comments about the F138.

  3. Alonso should hydrate much more, those samples don’t look good

  4. Alonso: “So …. if I keep doing this, Red Bull will offer me a contract?”

  5. “I’ve discovered a new formula: P1=RBR.”

    1. Subject to uncertainties ;)

  6. Undercover Boss.

  7. After the Lance Armstrong saga, F1 gets tough asking for samples from all F1 drivers.

  8. Fernando’s attempt at making an all-purpose facial hair serum wasn’t going as well as expected.

  9. Alonso: “I’m pretty sure Michael never had to do this crap!”

  10. The real reason behind the Ferrari speed deficit

  11. When Mercedes released a sound video of their new V6 engine, Ferrari couldn’t stay behind. ‘It sounds like a blow!’, Fernando said about it.

  12. ..just tell them it’s apple juice

  13. An exhausted Alonso was relieved to fill these samples with urine after filling another table with another bodily fluid moments before…

  14. I am quite happy with that now. ;)
    Try it on the usual car.

  15. “…and we use the blue bottle for Felipe’s car.”

      1. hahahha WINNER !!!!!!

    1. Michael (@freelittlebirds)
      3rd August 2013, 15:35

      Winner no doubt!!!

    2. Pure genius!!! Winner for sure!!!

    3. Nice one :)))

    4. Haha. Thanks! Glad you all liked it :)

  16. Ferrari expands it’s production of methamphetamine.

    1. That should really be *shell but that’s technicalities ;)

  17. Bored of collecting other drivers’ helmets, Fernando’s new hobby goes a little deeper.

    1. Traverse (@)
      3rd August 2013, 14:02

      Winner!

      1. I like this one

    2. Brilliant :’D

    3. Excellent!

  18. Traverse (@)
    3rd August 2013, 11:15

    Alonso launches his new range of olive oil named ‘Teflonsoil’ (patent pending).

  19. Alonso preparing Montezemolo’s last drink (hint: poison).

  20. It’s plain to see why Massa wasn’t best pleased when he later discovered the beaker containing the gearbox fluid he was using for the race.

      1. Traverse (@)
        3rd August 2013, 17:01

        The beaker appears to have vanished.

  21. Recent times of austerity has meant everyone at Ferrari has had to pull their weight.

  22. “So we can put this in Felipe’s fuel?”

  23. If you want something done right, do it yourself.

  24. After his criticism on the team, Alonso has been demoted by di Montezemolo to the oil workshop.

  25. Ferrari still puzzled why radical staff shuffle tactics hamper car development.

    1. Dennis the menace (@)
      7th August 2013, 5:39

      haha, very clever

  26. “Okay, okay, I’ve already learned loads about science. Can I go play with the Bunsen burner now?”

  27. Meanwhile in a secret cryogenic lab…
    FA: “…this will be Fernando junior #12, this will be Fernando junior #13 …sooner or later one of my Clones will be champion in a Ferrari!”

  28. Fernando hopes to get even with Mercedes by doing a bit of testing him self.

  29. all this fussing about these doping tests

  30. In a new green initiative, Shell reveal their new range of fuel additives.
    “This sample’s from the 2005 Tour de France, Fernando. We’ve found it’s worth at least 30 bhp.”

  31. Careful with that fire Fernando, you might burn your eyebrows off.

  32. Welcome to cooking with Fernando…

  33. “I have no idea what I’m doing”

  34. This is the private fuel test. Let me put some Red Bull in there.

  35. Fernando ‘I need to see Walter White, its time to retire and make crystal meth’

  36. ‘So I put this is Newey’s coffee…. and then what?’

    1. Michael (@freelittlebirds)
      3rd August 2013, 18:06

      Good one:)

  37. FA: Hmm, my hands were made to work on fiery red things… Wanna get a drink?

  38. ‘So Fernando, would you can light this for me while Jeff over there is busy filling up some more bottles under the desk’.

  39. David not Coulthard (@)
    3rd August 2013, 12:52

    We’ve spent so much on our wind tunnel that we needed the Ferrari International Assistance to lend us some fuel. To make sure that the fuel they lent us is safe, we’re testing it…..

  40. Ferrari and Shell release a rather odd new addition to their merchandise line up with their new ‘pee-in-a-cup’ bottles.

  41. Fernando was apathetic about Shell’s new bio-oil scheme until he remembered his contracted publicity days. “You’re taking the-” he almost said.

  42. Getting trained for alternative job if Ferrari fires him ;)

  43. Nintendo rumored to make the Doctor Mario series more realistic.

    1. Traverse (@)
      3rd August 2013, 14:00

      Yes! Fantasic caption. You know your games.

      1. Michael (@freelittlebirds)
        3rd August 2013, 18:07

        He does look like Mario with the stache

  44. “Ah, so this is how they make Red Bull”

  45. Traverse (@)
    3rd August 2013, 13:59

    Alonso sneakily switches his urine sample with Tyson Gay’s.

  46. Alonso discovers the reason why Ferrari are lagging behind in the development race: “OHHH, FIRE”

  47. Alonso – “Ok.. lets add a little bit of this to Sebastian’s urine sample”

  48. Maybe if we spent less time sampling olive oils we could improve the car.

  49. Alonso: So you are saying if I drink this, it will give me “wings”?

  50. comunity service for a very inconvenient birthday present wish, or just doing the job yourself, if you want it done right?

  51. You say these chemicals gave Lewis that stupid beard? Thank God that hasn’t happened to me…

  52. Having given up vino at lunch, the Ferrari canteen now serves a rather more suspicious-looking beverage…

  53. After finding out Ferrari was talking to Kimi, Fernando started to do more PR events than usual.
    Fernando: “Next week I’ll be handing out loans in a Santander near you!”

  54. The Science Lab is the perfect place to roast Marshmallows, thought Alonso.

  55. With the newly enforced budget caps, everyone must be cross trained!

  56. Eh.. How much sugar do we need?

  57. The new FIA drug test methods have really gone out of hand.

  58. Michael (@freelittlebirds)
    3rd August 2013, 18:09

    While the photographer was taking this picture, Alonso kept thinking to himself “hmm, I wonder if this picture will generate a caption on F1Fanatic…”

  59. Fernando decides to take Ferrari’s performance deficit into his own hands using a special mix of Shell Unleaded Petrol and Vettelium (which is said to contain some helium) – he believes it would give him a better car than even the RB9 and the W04!

  60. Shell: So Fernando, you wanted to know where chickens come from, well all you need is a Shell ;) and something to keep it warm like these silver oven gloves.
    Fernando: Chickens? ….. no I meant chicanes, not chickens!

  61. Jack (@jackisthestig)
    3rd August 2013, 18:45

    Fernando works on a revenge attack on Hamilton for letting Roscoe pee against his motorhome.

  62. Here’s my doping sample Miss.

  63. Vettel fanboy
    3rd August 2013, 19:53

    With this fuel we should go faster than the red bull .

  64. With Ferrari’s hopes of the Championship dwindling, Alonso decides to try his hand at making his own brand of energy drink.

  65. Alonso: “I wonder, will Kimi drink it?”

  66. I’m tired of red, can we switch over to more blue?

  67. Are you sure this D.N.A belongs to Adrian Newey!

  68. Alonso let it go to his head after getting a cool scientist outfit for his birthday.

  69. Alonso attempts to discover the exact colour of Raikkonen’s and Vettel’s sunglasses.

  70. “After we’ve run the tests could you give us a blood sample as well?”

  71. Dr Alonso extracts fingernails from Julia Gillard so she can’t run them down a blackboard. A nation is relieved. Thanks Nando.

    (One for the Aussies)

    1. Dennis the menace (@)
      7th August 2013, 5:45

      I was wondering when someone would highlight the Gillard lookalike..:-)

  72. “And you are sure it is undetectable”?

  73. Alonso is discovering the new chemical “formula 1”.

  74. Terrance Hamblin
    4th August 2013, 2:22

    Forged from the fires of Mount Doom, the ring of power would grant the Dark Lord Alonso dominion over all drivers.

  75. “So,this was the fuel that made the new v6 engine crap”

  76. ” is a justa likea extractinga olive oil caramba “

  77. Alonso: “don’t call Massa, I can handle it myself.”

  78. Kimi’s drinkng games get more elaborate.

  79. “I know we need an energy drink tie-in, but should we really let Shell handle it?”

  80. I grow facial hair to be a badass, not to do “science”. Damn marketing department.

  81. Felipe will soon find out why I’m faster than him!

  82. Fernando is desperately trying to transform Ferrari into ” just a drinks company”.

  83. Let me experiment n make my Ferrari run faster; after my engineers have failed in 2013….

  84. After Vettel confirms that he prefers kimi to be the no2 in the team next year, alonso prepares a new drink to rival red bull.

  85. Now let’s drink this serum extracted from Seb’s hair and I’ll become finally super fast in qualifying! This will make me invincible! *evil laughter*

  86. “…and this for Luca!”

  87. Sir Humphrey
    4th August 2013, 21:40

    Aha! Now I can rule the world!

  88. Sir Humphrey
    4th August 2013, 21:47

    You say Felipe produced all these urine samples during first friday practice?

  89. Chris (@eddie4102000)
    4th August 2013, 22:06

    di Montezemolo’s Revenge: Fernando was now the official Ferrari urine sample collector.

  90. Fernando: “Sun Tzu says: ‘Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.'”
    Lady: “Well Montezemolo says ‘When drivers say stupid things, they have to test every little bottle of oil we have to see which one we put the wee in.'”

    1. Dennis the menace (@)
      7th August 2013, 5:49

      haha, great reference. I can imagine Alonso sitting up at night studying the art of war

  91. hiss not what I want, I’m driver no, what am I doing jere, these gloves are itchy, ay

  92. “Are you sure Luca can tell this from whisky?”

    1. FIX:

      “Are you sure Luca can’t tell this from whisky?”

  93. Puma enters the exciting new market of lab safety clothing.

  94. I would like to officially open the Marenello cloning facility by injecting this beaker with DNA taken from Adrian Newey’s last hair follicle

  95. Alonso is testing his new race gloves. Protective, cool and more importantly less bulky. Enabling much faster in car tweets on Sunday.

  96. Alonso: “What? Didn’t Vettel say he preferred RAI because the chemistry wasn’t right?”

  97. ‘Does the carpet match the drapes?’

    1. Dennis the menace (@)
      7th August 2013, 5:50

      classic…got the biggest laugh from me so far…

  98. Wait until we add this to his energy drink.

  99. “If they are making F1 cars then I will start making sport drinks..” mumble mumble..

  100. They told me i was going to take part in a secret test… Err not quite what i’d hoped

  101. Look at what Adrian Newey have done, he should put his talents toward something useful, like rocket science. It’s just screwing up the sport.

  102. So, at the end of this unpaid internship you’ll speak about me with Mateschitz … right, Shell?

  103. … and how long do I have to wait before I put it into Seb’s car?

  104. Are you 100% sure Mateschitz will be impressed that I can produce an (engine) energy drink?

  105. Are you really sure Vettel drinks this?

  106. Fernando is creating the next optimal crazy glue for his front wing so it would never break or fall apart like when it happened in Spain 2013 GP

  107. Dennis the menace (@)
    7th August 2013, 5:57

    “So if I inject myself with this the zombies can’t see me?”

  108. Err.. even this formula doesn’t seem to be working for me. :(

  109. Jon (@astroturf777)
    14th August 2013, 9:35

    ‘well it worked in the wind tunnel…’

  110. Where would you like the turkey baster?

  111. “Thanks ms gillard, my sample will be clean for sure now”

  112. ……….and so you see , Kimi’s urine sample burns when exposed to a naked flame !!!

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