Caption Competition 34: Raikkonen and Vettel

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Kimi Raikkonen and Sebastian Vettel: Is this Red Bull’s driver line-up for 2014?

Fernando Alonso was rumoured to be talking to the team during the Hungarian Grand Prix weekend. But when asked about who he’d like to partner him at the team next year Vettel said: “I’d prefer Kimi”.

Can you think of a good caption for the picture above? Submit your funniest suggestion in the comments and a selection of the best will appear in tomorrow’s round-up.

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Image © Red Bull/Getty

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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91 comments on “Caption Competition 34: Raikkonen and Vettel”

  1. Kimi is straightforward (like Seb said) and says:
    Seb, I don’t want to come to Red Bull. I just don’t like Red Bull. Take Fernando.

    1. Another:
      Maldonado (background): I will get the Red Bull seat. I’m ready to shoot.

  2. I know we’re friends and everything… but do we really need to have the same haircut and glasses ?

    1. Chris (@tophercheese21)
      3rd August 2013, 10:45

      HA!
      Yes!

  3. Kimi: “Helmut who?”

  4. Kimi: “I don`t take orders from Austrians.”

  5. Raikkonen: “Newey? Pfft, I can beat him in a vodka skulling contest any day of the week”

  6. So Sebastian. Shall we both sign up and do the remake of The Blues Brothers?

  7. As they turn to each other, they both realise how good their reflections look in each other’s glasses..

  8. Seb : “Once you’ll learn the difference between multi 21 and multi 22, you’ll get an icecream!”

    1. I think you got that one wrong … should be multi 21 and multi 12 :)

  9. Kimi: so next year how about you name your car ‘Kimi’s b****’
    Seb: …

    1. Though a little dirty, it does suits the picture perfectly!

    2. ….and we have a winner! LOL

  10. German, Portuguese, French, Italian, English.. any beer you can find and all in one place, Seb.
    See you after the Kimi.

  11. ‘Thanks for bullying Mark out of the team by that Multi 21 action Seb, I thought I’d never get to race that Red Bull!’

  12. John Woo finds the perfect candidates for the sequel to Face/Off

  13. “I’d prefer Mark.”

  14. Seb: “Tell Christian that you won’t do any PR work and you want free ice cream…”
    Kimi: “Just leave me alone, I know what I’m doing!”

  15. The look of shock on Vettel’s face as he is notified by Räikkönen that he’s sent along Grosjean to partner him instead.

  16. Raikkonen and Vettel finally escape from @omarr-pepper‘s profile pic!

    1. Epic! Clever piece of inside joke.

    2. OmarR-Pepper (@)
      3rd August 2013, 14:07

      WOW! Nice one (They escaped just because the avatar is unable to be changed or restored these days)

  17. Chiz (@a-flying-toilet)
    3rd August 2013, 11:44

    Vettel: “don’t come to red bull, I’m scared you’ll beat me!”

  18. Hey Seb, I just asked your girlfriend for a multi 21 then some ice-cream…

  19. Kimi: What was Multi 2-1 again?

    Seb: Forget it. It’s Multi 1-2…..

  20. “Can you see anything through these sunglasses?”
    “No, I can’t either.”

  21. Maverick: What’s your problem, Kazanski?
    Iceman: You’re everyone’s problem. That’s because every time you go up in the air, you’re unsafe. I don’t like you because you’re dangerous.
    Maverick: That’s right! Ice… man. I am dangerous.

    1. Shreyas Mohanty (@)
      3rd August 2013, 15:12

      Vettel is inversely proportional to Tom Cruise.You do realise that, right?

      1. as where Tom’s wives, but he had a strange nak of appearing taller and them appearing shorter. He’d pull it off ;-)

  22. ‘I need your clothes, your boots, and your RB9.’

  23. KR: “…ever tried driving a GP after 11 vodka-redbull?!”
    SV: “What is vodka?”
    KR: “…?! …never mind!”

  24. Looking at each other, neither were sure if they were looking at a reflection.

  25. “I’m standing here; you make the move. You make the move. It’s your move…”

    “Don’t try it you @#&*.”

    “You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talking… you talking to me? Well I’m the only one here. Who the @#&* do you think you’re talking to? Oh yeah? OK.”

  26. “Oh God, I hope they don’t force me to wear a vest at Red Bull. Or is that just how mummy dresses you?”

    1. @jackysteeg I have actually always wondered why he wears a vest top haha! :P

  27. RAI: *says something unoriginal about ice cream

    Copy and paste into any thread vaguely involving Raikkonen.

  28. Vet: Knock knock.
    Kimi: Who’s there?
    Vet: Mark.
    Kimi: Mark who?
    Vet: Polo!! Hehe, geddit?
    Kimi: …I don’t geddit…
    Vet: *Sigh*

  29. Kimi: Although our glasses look the same, there’s one subtle difference. The reflection in my glasses will be the road in front of me and nothing else, yours will reflect the back of my car.

  30. seb:kimi 11 million is enough.
    kimi:dont tell me what to do

  31. “You gotta stop drinking those things Alonso is handing out. It’s not Red Bull.”

  32. Kimi: ‘I’ll come to Red Bull if it becomes ice cream producer.’

  33. Red bull decided to give the 2 a “get to know eachother” afternoon before making any decision. The 2 spent the time in total silence, just staring at eachother. Kimi afterwards commented it was his best date ever.

  34. What do you mean, second driver?

  35. Lotus brought more updates than Redbull to the Hungarian GP.
    Kimi: “My package is bigger than yours.”
    Seb: ……

  36. what’s up with fernando seb? you don’t have to worry about it, i talked to helmut and he took care of it.
    What were we talking about?… o yes kimi, you can be sure equal treatment withing the team.

  37. Simple. They didn’t sign me so I didn’t let you pass. No Multi 21 without a contract.

  38. Kimi: “hey Seb, remember that time you beat me in badminton? Yeah, didn’t think so.”

  39. In unison: so that’s where my sunglasses went!

  40. Kimi : Do you know the escape road in Interlagos which I missed last year ?

  41. Vettel and Kimi pose for the Hangover 4 movie poster (Fat Jesus obviously being Pastor in the background)

  42. Kimi: I’m not really that antisocial its just a defence mechanism because for sure I’m insecure about building friendships with my rivals because I’ve been hurt so many times.
    Seb: ???

  43. “Really Seb, I’m serious. Marko just gave me a wine and cheese basket”.

  44. In monotone, and without punctuation: What multi 21 I haven’t signed yet.

  45. Seb: Marco offered you *how* much?
    Kimi: It’s true, plus I get wins bonus on top.

  46. Seb: You understand you will have #2 on your car right Kimi?
    Kimi: No, no. I am negotiating to have #0 Seb. I am nobodys #2.

  47. Raikkonen
    OK, I guess drinks are fine; but what about ice creams at RB?

  48. Jack (@jackisthestig)
    3rd August 2013, 18:31

    “You cut your own hair too? Wow, we have so much in common!”

  49. Michael (@freelittlebirds)
    3rd August 2013, 19:05

    Kimi: I’m telling you, man, don’t use Gilette. Look what happened to my chin.
    Seb: Oh man, that looks awful. Thanks for the tip! Dude, that rash is going to hurt like hell during the race tomorrow. Does it still bleed?
    Kimi: No, it stopped but the damn heat makes it worse – it just makes it burn so bad!
    Seb: Maybe you should sit the race out and let it heal.
    Kimi: There’s only one type of rash that will stop me from racing
    Seb: I did NOT need to know that!

  50. Let’s play badminton, the loser will get the number 2 car

  51. Kimi: “Screw with me Seb and I’ll make sure Grosjean is your partner next year”

  52. Seb: “So all I have to do is copy your style and people will start to like me?”

  53. MS (@lhchampion)
    3rd August 2013, 20:45

    Kimi: “I know you want me to join you guys, but let me ask you this, talking so much in press conferences is part of your Red Bull contract?”

  54. Seb: What do you mean you don’t do PR work? Every F1 driver does PR work.
    Kimi: Well, I do, but not in person. I just send the event one of those life size cardboard picture thingys, and they set it up by the bar, so any one who’s a bit drunk can talk to it. I’ve had so many successful PR events this way it makes you wonder what all the fuss is about.

  55. ‘Whoever can do more shots gets to be Number 1’

  56. You had me at ‘I’d prefer Kimi’.

  57. “When they said we were going to be team mates they meant at Lotus”

  58. Kimi: I’m going to name by RBR car “Seb’s Dirty Sister”

  59. (assuming that Kimi takes the Redbull seat next year)
    Kimi to Sebastian: “starting next year, prepare to be Mark”.

  60. Kimi:Ok,about the 2014 season.I join Red Bull.Maldonado and Grosjean team…….
    Seb:Wait,hold on a second…..
    *awkward pause then*
    Seb and Kimi:Oh ****!

  61. “I told Fernando it was a drinking game.”

  62. I know it’s crazy, and we’ve only just met. But, can I have your Ice Cream???

  63. Hey, Seb, I’m pretty sure I know the guy reflected in your sunglasses!

  64. You talkin’ to me?

  65. Seb: would you cope with the pressure in my team?
    Kimi: you talkin’ to me?

  66. Carlos Furtado das Neves
    4th August 2013, 18:00

    Seb: So Kimi, next year will you give me enough space to pass ??
    Kimi: I don’t know …
    Seb: Humm, and will you shut the door on my face ?
    Kimi: No. I’ll roll down the red carpet for you…

  67. Seb: “Have you heard all of the latest driver rumours?”
    Kimi: “No. I was having a ****.”

  68. Seb: “Have you heard all of the latest driver rumours?”
    Kimi: “No. I was having a s&*t.”

  69. also. sorry for the swear on the first post. I’m bad.

  70. Seb “I can see me in your glasses looking at you in my glasses, can you see me in my glasses looking at you in your glasses????”

    Kimi “I need a beer…”

  71. happy side-effect of the press-annoying mirror shades for these two was the jaw-dropping glimpse to infinity as they tried in vain to make eye contact.

  72. Kimi: I – AM – FAST – ER – THAN – YOU. Can you confirm you understood that message?
    Seb: That’s what I’m talking about!

  73. Seb mate, the bad news is like this… Both Fernando and I have signed for RBR for next year. But the good news is, Marko can get you into one of the RedBull-sponsored junior Rally teams if you sign right now!

    1. add to the above: “And they’ll even let you call your car ‘Kate’s Little Sister’ “.

  74. Seb: You want to be on top or on the bottom?

    Kimi: Not when you are around, but I am already taken so go bug somebody else.

  75. …………….Vodka & Redbull !

  76. Kimi I know we are gonna be team mates next year,but pinching my DNA and cloning yourself ain’t gonna work mate

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