Rob Smedley, Felipe Massa, Ferrari, 2012

Caption Competition 36: Massa and Smedley

Caption competitionPosted on | Author Keith Collantine

Rob Smedley, Felipe Massa, Ferrari, 2012

Felipe Massa, who is counting down his final half-dozen races as a Ferrari driver, is the subject of our latest Caption Competition.

Here he is pictured with race engineer Rob Smedley who has been with Massa throughout the highs and lows of his Ferrari tenure.

Can you think up a funny caption for this picture?

Submit your funniest suggestion in the comments and a selection of the best will be chosen for tomorrrow’s round-up.

Caption Competition


Browse all previous Caption Competitions

Image ?? Ferrari/Ercole Colombo

202 comments on “Caption Competition 36: Massa and Smedley”

  1. “Get back there and eat that broccoli!”

    1. Great One :)

  2. “Felipe, put the steering wheel back, Kimi will need it”
    “Tell him to get his own wheel”

  3. “Make sure you try this move when you’re asked to do Strictly Come Dancing”

  4. do a little dance
    make a litlle love
    get down tonight ohhh
    get down tonight

  5. ‘… And I think you’ll find that proves my dancing skills are better than your racing skills.’

  6. It’s over baby, forza Felipe

  7. “Awkward question… would you mind running to the shops for some Magnums and vodka?”

    1. That’s the winner for me!!!

    2. nice one :P

    3. Instant winner :)

    4. This one…yes!

  8. “Hold Fernando as much as we can. Destroy his race… come on, boy!”

  9. Felipe: “I thought we were going to be together forever” Rob: “Felipe baby stay cool, go out there and find another team” Felipe: “But Lotus don’t want a pay driver” Rob: “Well I might be leaving Ferrari too – all we know is you’re fired… for sure!”

  10. Felipe baby your out!!

  11. RS: ”Get out of here. Now.”
    FM: ”No. I want to stay here.”

  12. “Go get ’em boy!”

  13. “Felipe go to the naughty step.”
    “NO”

  14. “You must be this tall to drive the Ferrari. Sorry, Felipe.”

  15. Smedley: “You have no idea how funny this looks in the shiny wall’s reflection”

  16. Rob: ‘If you don’t like your strategy, you can GIT OUUUUT!’

  17. Smedley: “And with great regret… Felipe, you’re fired.”
    Massa: “No. You can’t make me!”

  18. Smedley: Now you stop moping, and march right down to Lotus to beg them for a seat…

  19. rob : Felipe baby… do you see the green light over the door with the word exit written on it?
    Well……… its light up!!

  20. “OK, so, Kimi is colder than you. Can you confirm you understood that message?”

    1. hahaha not bad! :)

  21. “Do you want to be driving that Sauber over there next year? Then hurry up and get back on the podium!”

  22. “Kimi is faster than you”

  23. “…And THEN you crash into the wall so Fernando can win.”

    1. Haha, that is exactly what I was thinking.

      Nice one!

  24. “The door’s over there, don’t let it hit you on the **** on your way out.”

  25. There’s a guy out back who says he’s got a go-kart with a Ferrari badge on it. We should get it and make sure that you’ve got something to drive next season.

    1. +1 ! Instant winner !

  26. “Now I want you to go out there and destroy Fernando’s race”

  27. rob : Felipe baby , look at that screen……its Keiths article about the crashgate !!!
    How didn’t we think that earlier…. Maybe its not too late to try a “Piquet” in Korea!!!!

  28. Smedley “Felipe you know where the door is. Make sure you shut the door behind you when you leave”

  29. That way to the employment line Felipe baby

  30. Massa: I appreciate your effort trying to cheer me up rob, its just… I’m not really into disco…

  31. “Rubens is waiting out there to give you the briefing on what to do with your career after having been Ferrari’s whipping boy.”

    1. This gets my vote

  32. “I’m a teapot”

    1. dammit that was my one

  33. I know you want to find a seat for next season, but this one’s mine.

  34. “Just walk down the pitlane and then it’s the second garage on your right..”

  35. Rob: “You see Grosjean in Lotus garage? He is also faster than you.”

  36. rob: LOOK AT ME boy when i’m talking to you!!!
    The door is over there….
    [Domenicali behind Rob]
    Dom: Don’t be so soft with him Rob…….

  37. Chris (@tophercheese21)
    29th September 2013, 12:00

    “Felipe! Where the hell did you find a seat?”

  38. Smedley: Guess who’s got a new engineer in the neighbourhood!

  39. CarnivorousPope (@)
    29th September 2013, 12:11

    Rob: “Felipe Baby, Fernando, is, more, tired, than ,you. Can you confirm you understood the message?”

  40. Follow me to Williams, the graveyard of Brazillian F1 careers…

    1. a bit bizarre and morbid, but so true!

    2. Chris (@tophercheese21)
      29th September 2013, 13:24

      Love it

      1. +1 love it.

    3. Ouch, that’s dark.

  41. [After Domenicali instructed Rob to tell Massa indιrectly about him getting fired , he sits behind and listen]
    Rob: Felipe baby, you see this guy on the screen eating icecream?
    Well…… you sitting on his seat…now :(

  42. Go fetch us a new job and be quick about it. That’s a good boy.

  43. smedley: “get our there and show them what you can do!”

  44. “Now march over there and tell him you don’t do what you’re told!….”

  45. Rob: (shouting) “NOW GO OUT THERE AND DO THE BEST YOU CAN… to keep Fernando in front of you”.

  46. Antonio (@frosty-jacks-racing-team)
    29th September 2013, 12:41

    One does not simply walk into the Marussia Garage

  47. If I hear “I dont help Ferrari” one more time, you’re staying home next time, mister.

  48. Keep cool Felipe baby, you still have a job for a few months…

  49. Antonio (@frosty-jacks-racing-team)
    29th September 2013, 12:43

    “This is how I play Snooker”

  50. I’m a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my driver on his way out !

  51. Massa baby, it’s time for ice-cream

  52. Rob: You’ll need to carry more speed through the chicane.
    Massa: Why? Will they fire me if I don’t?

  53. “I don’t want to hear about your whining! Now go out there! Lead that race! And let Alonso past!”

  54. Smedley: “Go on now, go, walk out the door, just turn around now
    ‘Cause you’re not welcome anymore”

    1. Massa continues (referring to Raikkonen):
      “And so you’re back from outer space
      I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
      I should have changed that stupid lock
      I should have made you leave your key
      If I’d known for just one second you’d be back to bother me”

      1. Weren’t you the one, who tried to hurt me with goodbye?
        Did you think I’d crumble? Did you think I’d lay down and die?

        Oh, no, not I, I will survive
        Oh, as long as I know how to race, I know I’ll get a drive
        I’ve got all my life to live, I’ve got all my money to give
        I’ll get a drive, I’ll get a drive, hey, hey

      1. That was really good :) @vettel1 @@jamiefranklinf1
        Its definitely the soundtrack of Massas departure..
        I’ll get a drive, I’ll get a drive, hey, hey ooooOOOOOoooooOOOO

  55. Felipe, the car is over there

  56. Smedley: “You see that – its a playstation 3. Probably your only chance of ever beating Alonso and Kimi”

  57. And please dont crash the car…

  58. FM: We could get an RV and go and cook Meth

  59. Shreyas Mohanty (@)
    29th September 2013, 13:05

    “Come on Felipe, don’t keep crashing, these Ferraris don’t come cheap!”

  60. If you just take a finger and push the button like this, the back wing opens and you go faster. Felipe baby.

  61. “Hold my hand Felipe, we shall leave together”

  62. “Take my hand Felipe, I will show you the way”

  63. ‘Do you want me to get you that big dinosaur over there then?’
    “No!”
    ‘Or maybe that cool skateboard?’
    “Noooo I want my Ferrari!”

  64. … and there is the friend of that guy whose uncle works as taxi driver… That’s it for now…

  65. Mate there is life after Ferrari. Lets begin all over again.

  66. Felipe: “Why hasn’t Kimi showed up for the seat swap?”
    Rob: “Oh, he’s just having a ****!”

  67. Go talk to them boy !! Show them what you got !
    No time to sulk or you’ll be beaten by the hulk .

  68. Kimi.is.faster.than.you…sorry, sunshine…

  69. ¯¯ Baby, baby, baby oohhhh ¯¯

  70. Rob is disappointed to find out Felipe isn’t a fan of The Bangles.

  71. …then Luca burst through the door, gun in hand….

  72. “No Rob. Putting Cars 2 on the telly is not going to cheer me up either.”

  73. Massa: “Where’s my contract?”
    Smedley: “That way…”

    1. haha! xD

  74. So aim for turn 17. There’s no cranes or access roads there so it should bring out the safety car.

    Good lad.

    1. Makes sense why he came out the next day after Singapore saying his contract would not be renewed!

    2. Ooooooooooouchhhhhhhh

  75. Look! You’ve got 99 problems, and that lap time is definitely one.

  76. Smedley is saying, “Shut up, I know what I’m doing.”

  77. “A mostly empty Ferrari garage shows their true feelings about Felipe”

  78. RS: I’m sorry, you have to leave now.
    FM: But…
    RS: It’s actually Rai.

  79. I don’t care what Luca and Stefano say, grow some balls and tell them to sod off!

  80. RS: “To infinty and beyond!”
    FM: “That won’t work, they already chose Ricciardo”

    1. that’s quite clever actually ;)

    2. lol – good one!

  81. RS: Yes, Felipe can into pole. Keep P1 warm for Fernando.

  82. Jack (@jackisthestig)
    29th September 2013, 14:58

    “If we ever get married I want Night Fever as our first dance!”

  83. Felipe knew his contract negotiations weren’t going well – Domenicali used his life-size Rob Smedley hand puppet only when he had to deliver bad news to someone.

  84. “Bernie wants to take a crack at Hollywood. I’m going to audition for his remake of Saturday Night Fever.”

  85. Felipe Massa freezes up after the news from the worried Rob Smedley that Justin Bieber is just outside the garage.

  86. “Hey look! What’s that over there?”

    *slaps MAS

    “your career leaving the garage”

  87. “Your big leather chair? It’s over there in the upholstery shop … Kimi’s having a fitting.”

  88. RS: “Come on Felipe, you need to get in the car! The race starts in five minutes!”
    FM: “No, I stay here!”
    RS: “OK then…sigh sorry Felipe, I didn’t mean to call you a baby four years ago!”

  89. Now get down that lotus garage and beg for that seat. Oh and tell them we come as a package.

  90. RS: Look, I have it straight from the horse’s mouth: Webber’s car is going to run out of fuel on the last lap of the race. Now by my reckoning he’ll be third at that point, so if you can be 4th … the podium’s yours.
    FM: Yeah right, run’s out of fuel. Baloney. Never happen. You think Red Bull are stupid or something?

  91. “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.”

  92. There’s an opening to drive our lorry, so I heard. In that way you will still be a member of the Ferrari family. And honestly, that’s about how fast you can drive, isn’t it?

  93. “Lucca said you would have to look me in the eye to decide what to do, come on, look me in the eye or get out!”

  94. Rob:

    Hit the road man, don’t you come back no more!

  95. I’m getting the car in the divorce

  96. RS What are you man or mouse – just go and ask Luca di M if we get to keep these uniforms!

  97. If you don’t eat any meat, you can’t have any pudding!

  98. David not Coulthard (@)
    29th September 2013, 17:04

    Get out there, do what Piquet Jr did in 2008, and you’ll get your seat back.

  99. Did you see that new female reporter? Damn!

  100. Felipe was starting to get bored of Rob’s dancing lessons.

  101. “I heard from the next garage that red bull gives you wings!! Flap your arms like this!!”

  102. Words of enouragement from Rob to Felipe –

    Rob – “Show them what you’re made of Felipe! Now get out there and finish in positions P6 to P10!”

  103. Now remember, you go down the road, turn left, and the job centre is on your right.

  104. It looks dark but you will be ok out there.

  105. “You just go out there and I’ll tell you how to drive that thing!”

  106. ‘I’ve had it up to here with you, Felipe. Now sit there and be quiet.’

  107. A horse’s head!
    In my bed!
    I’m gone.

  108. Felipe baby, that’s the door. I’ll keep an eye on you on your way out

  109. Hey, did you notice that “MAruSSiA” looks like “MASSA” ? Your fate is linked to them now…

    1. nice one! :):):) should even just be

      Hey, did you notice that “MAruSSiA” looks like “MASSA” ?

  110. Antonio (@frosty-jacks-racing-team)
    29th September 2013, 19:44

    Why can’t you be more like Usain Bolt?

  111. “Nobody puts Felipe-baby in the corner…!”

  112. Rob: See all those needlessly mocking and sarky comments from armchair expert fans at home? Ignore them and just stay true to yourself and have fun in your last few races at Ferrari. Why not consider a different series of racing next year?

  113. “Felipe, Lotus is over there. Can you confirm you’ve understood the message”

  114. ‘Renaults that way….’

  115. “Oh and now GO! Walk out the door! Just turn around now,
    ‘Cause you’re not welcome anymore!”

  116. Theres the door Felipe. Don’t let it hit your **** on the way out. And try not to trip up on the empty bottles of vodka.

  117. Patience, patience Felipe… The pigeon will come back

  118. I promise you, there are no loose springs on the track…. now, please go and sit in the car

  119. “Have you seen Kimi’s comeback? That’s why he’s got the drive for 2014 and not you!”

  120. “Felipe, baby, go get your own damn white visor”

  121. Do ist der Bahnhof!

  122. “No, I don’t think it’s weird that you have a third nipple. If you want weird, look at how long my arms are.”

  123. Rob: “There comes a point in everyone’s life where you need to leave home and fight for yourself. This is that time.”

  124. RS: Seriously Felipe, they put it on the Lotus website today. ‘We are hiring now! We need drivers, engineers, and designers for our team with an identity crisis!’
    FM: Boullier said he isn’t looking for pay drivers Rob so why on earth should I even ask?
    RB: Felipe baby stay cool, Bernie is bringing you the money, you’re in a good positon.

  125. “you remembe

  126. “fernando ‘s on the can and ran outta toilet paper can you go ask lotus if they can spare any?

  127. You’ll need to speak to them Felipe , there’s nothing i can do , Im just a puppet on a string around here !!!

  128. Guillermo Deutsch
    30th September 2013, 2:41

    You must be this tall to get on the ride, so get the …

  129. ‘Ey, no matter where you end up, he’s still the boss. Okay?

  130. “Out! Bad dog.”

    1. Bad boy is less offensive. Alonso doesn’t want you no more.

  131. “Your helmet? I think you’ll find it that way.”

  132. Rob Smedly takes his Disco Stu impression a little too far!

  133. Lower your lap times. Good boy!

  134. Smedely: “Here’s my handle and here’s my sp…. what’s wrong Felipe? You love my teapot routine.”

  135. RS: “…and get these stickers of Tamara from the car before Kimi comes in. With Lotus salary, he can’t afford her anyway…”

  136. AH AH AH AH STAYIN’ ALIVE, STAYIN’ ALIVE

    ..c’mom Phillip. Join in!

  137. Get back there and get your jab back!

  138. Massa: ‘Equality my foot!! I only get a stool to sit on while fancy boy Alonso gets a fancy custom built chair’
    Smedley: ‘If you don’t like boyo, that way is the door!”

  139. “Don’t forget to pack the white visors on your way out”

  140. No,no no, Massa. It’s night fever, night fever!

  141. Smedley loses it & breaks into a full song & dance routine of ‘Stayin alive’ –
    “Whether you’re a brother or whether you’re a mother,
    You’re stayin alive, stayin alive.
    Feel the city breakin and everybody shakin,
    And were stayin alive, stayin alive.
    Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin alive, stayin alive.
    Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin alive.
    Life goin nowhere.somebody help me.
    Somebody help me, yeah.
    Life goin nowhere.somebody help me, yeah.
    I’m stayin alive.”

    Massa, not for the first time is unable to respond!

  142. James (@jamesjames123abc)
    30th September 2013, 14:02

    Smedley: “You go on the pitwall, I’ll get into the car.”

  143. If you go down here, you can catch Bus #36 which will take you to the train station. Ferrari will only pay for a 3rd class seat from Milan to Singapore. Don’t worry, its only a 9 day trip.

  144. “The door is that way”

  145. Yep, I know I’m late, but I wasn’t home…

    “Rob does the Charleston so badly it’s embarrassing!”

  146. “If you don’t point where you wanna go, you will go where you point, by the way the Lotus garage is over there…”

  147. Now listen Felipe
    My jacket goes on that hook, my shoes right below it. Make the coffee hot, one sugar with a splash of milk.
    And stop playing all that samba music, I’ve been faking my love of it for a long time.

  148. ROB: “Go and leave me alone, I’ll try to have the opportunity to work with a real pilot”
    FEL: “Yes I know, let me be just a little longer to savor how good it is to be a top team”

  149. You SAID you still wanted to drive for us…the Chinese take out is three blocks that way

  150. This teapot dance is faster than you, i repeat this teapot dance is faster than you….

  151. Late entry I know, but:

    “The good news is, I’ve found you a seat for next year. The bad news is, its in that grandstand.”

  152. “Why did you leave that in the toilet?”

  153. I know, Felipe…but sometimes I feel like I’m just a puppet around here too!

    1. oops…too late…forgot to check the round-up

  154. Smedley: This is Kimi’s seat now. Go and sit with the bench warmers.

  155. Smedley: All right. While we’re still under a caution, I want you to go back out on that track and hit the pace car.
    Massa: Hit the pace car?
    Smedley: Hit the pace car.
    Massa: What for?
    Smedley: Because you’ve hit every other goddamned thing out there, I want you to be perfect.

    Source:

  156. “That’s the way to Sauber, see you there shortly”

  157. “Fernando, over there, is faster than you”

  158. “We’re gonna go from here….to there!”
    “To infinity and beyond!!!!!!”

  159. Make way for Kimi!

  160. “Now go and put those toys back in your pram”

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