Jos Verstappen. Max Verstappen, Toro Rosso, Spa-Francorchamps, 2014

Caption Competition 58: Jos and Max Verstappen

Caption CompetitionPosted on | Author Keith Collantine

Jos Verstappen. Max Verstappen, Toro Rosso, Spa-Francorchamps, 2014

Max Verstappen, the teenager who will make his F1 debut with Toro Rosso next year, looks on in the Toro Rosso garage with his father, ex-F1 driver Jos Verstappen.

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117 comments on “Caption Competition 58: Jos and Max Verstappen”

  1. Being on fire was bad for me, but it’ll serve you very, very well!

  2. Crofty’s mispronounced Giedo’s, Robin’s names, and will probably mispronounce mine – but your name is crofty-mispronounciation immune!

  3. Jos: he thinks I’m talking about the race track, but I mean the curves of that hot broad over there
    Max: he thinks I’m thinking about the race track, but that fox over there has got much better curves

  4. Cristijan may have had Yuji and I may have had to see Taki, but that’s nothing compared to Cumberbatch!

  5. I don’t care if you’ve got a race that weekend.

    Homework is due in on Monday.

  6. Just remember, do NOT suck your thumb during team meetings…

  7. Jos: Ok son, I know you’re going to be 17 when you debut but even if the car you have can get you a podium finish, please don’t get one because… well… lets just say champagne doesn’t taste as good as it seems.

  8. JOS: Hopefully your swollen nipples will get better next year.

  9. I will wash the car, if you Will do the drive-ing.

    See pic @

  10. Don’t worry, I’ll buy some Clearasil on the way home.

  11. Jos: No matter what happens, every time you complain about having a better team mate I’m just going to say ‘I had Michael Schumacher as my team mate when I debuted. Get over it!’.

  12. The DNA test just came back. Turns out you real father is MC Hammer…

    1. *Michael Schumacher

  13. Jos: If H.Marko is mean to you, just call me and I’ll have a chat with his parents, okay?!

  14. now that you’re in Formula 1 they will permit you the drivers license back home

  15. Jos: when I was your age, I was still playing with Lego.

  16. If you don’t screw this up, maybe I’ll let you drive home.

  17. MV: “So how long am I ground for?”
    JV: “Two weeks.”

  18. ‘…never tell anyone your teammate has tractioncontrol, even if he has’

  19. look, i know the drink tastes like paint thinners but theyre giving you the drive

  20. “So Max, look out for that Magnussen kid next year – his father lost his seat to me in F1 and Jan might ask him to get revenge somehow…”

  21. Jos talks protection with his son on the eve of the “big” day.

  22. Formula Indonesia (@)
    30th August 2014, 13:04

    Jos : okay, so get ahead Kvyat first
    Max : where is my super license

    1. Formula Indonesia (@)
      30th August 2014, 13:06

      *Max : i dont have a super license

  23. Now….!! Are you sure you can handle the car without stabilisers ?? There will be a lot less grip out there.

  24. Remember to Praise Helmut when you can

  25. No, no, no, you could have 2 world championships before you’re as old as Vettel was when he started in F1.

  26. “It’s either pony rides OR the bounce house for your birthday party, not both.”

  27. Jos : Tell the media like this “I respect my Dad. I hope to drive like my father. ”
    Max : No. Alonso!

  28. Jos: “Now Max remember don’t drive like me drive like your mother, after all she was faster than Trulli and Schumacher in a kart and doesn’t have my explosive personality.”
    Max: “Yeah yeah I know that you made mistakes and I shouldn’t make them.”
    In the back of both minds “Than why am I/is he driving a F1 car next year being even younger than you were/ I was…”

  29. Son, Just don’t reveal your real age to them.

  30. Just tell them your as good as alonso… They’ll all believe you

  31. Son, don’t call me dad.
    You should always call me The Boss!

  32. Get round the lap in less than 2 minutes and I’ll take the stabilisers off

  33. Looking at Jos’ hand:
    “When you accelerate away at your first GP, don’t spin all four wheels at once. The back two is more than enough to cause a stair.”

    1. Looking at Max’s hand:
      “No dad, keep all four wheels firmly stuck to the floor is the way to go”.

  34. Chris (@tophercheese21)
    30th August 2014, 14:09

    Jos: “… and so when petrol and oxygen love eachother very much, they combine and… Err, well I’ll leave the rest of the story until you’re older.”

  35. MV: Don’t treat me like a child, I’m old enough now.
    JV: Fine, we’ll see when you ask me to give you a lift to your girlfriend’s place again…

  36. “So, you joined Toro Rosso at a young age. What’s the vers-that-can-tappen?!”

    1. Now that is funny!!!!!!!!!!!!

  37. Jos : “F1 is big boys school …”
    Max :”I thought i was going to university !”

  38. “Dr Marko wanted you to do GP3 but I said no way! Ever tried getting a teenager out of bed for a race at 8 in the morning?”

  39. Remember, the gas pedal is on the right.

  40. Jos: “Vettel does the finger thing when he wins, you will do the double-finger”

  41. Max: Ok, but what’s this ‘gravel’ you keep going on about?

    1. Jorn (@curbshifter)
      30th August 2014, 19:11

      +1 lol

    2. yup, that’s pretty good :)

  42. “No you mustn’t think of them as ‘the grown-ups’, Max. That won’t help you race them. They’re ‘old farts’, okay?”

  43. “Don’t worry, I talked to Franz Tost, they agreed to hang a candy stick in front of you.”

  44. Jos Verstappen giving the “birds and the bees talk” to his son Max, after spending the day gazing to Toro Rosso’s nose cone.

  45. Don’t worry son, ‘Tax’ can’t be the only word that rhymes with ‘Max’

  46. Luckily for you there’s no refuelling anymore!

  47. And if that Rosberg gives you any trouble…just use The Claw.

  48. And if Rosberg gives you any trouble…just use The Claw.

  49. Jos share a simple trick on how to give a number to umbrella girl beyond FOM camera.

  50. “Look, I got you the Toy that you asked for. Don’t come back to me after six months for a new one !!!!”

  51. Try to finish your school work on the weekdays ok?

  52. Remember son, I’m still the boss.

  53. “So, you joined Toro Rosso at a young age, what’s the vers-that-can-stappen?!”

  54. Maxie – i know you want to keep the training wheels on. i’ll be right here behind you. when i feel you’re ready, i’ll let you go…

  55. …and I looked to my left and Irvine appeared out of nowhere… (About Brazil 1994)

  56. If you inhale like this you gain 4 tenths down the main straight.

  57. Son,just remember to finish your homework before weekends…

  58. Jack (@jackisthestig)
    30th August 2014, 17:21

    “When I tell you to work on your fitness I don’t just mean wrist strength. The walls are very thin in that motorhome young man!”

  59. We’re in their garage, and they love you now, but never forget that the bull has two horns.

  60. I had to throw away your Red Bull. You know fizzy drinks make you go all hyper.

  61. “I know you can’t get your driving license until you’re 18, but getting a F1 super license, no problem. I’ll squeeze Bernie’s b****, sorry his neck and you will have it in no time”.

  62. “Don’t worry, son. I know you can’t get your driving license until you’re 18, but getting a F1 super license, no problem. I’ll squeeze Bernie’s b****, sorry his neck and you will have it in no time”.

  63. “Son, it’s sorted, if you get on the podium they’ll give you a capri sun instead.”

  64. Trust me son, once you become a F1 driver many beautiful women will try to seduce you just for your money and popularity.

  65. Paul (@frankjaeger)
    30th August 2014, 19:15

    “Okay Max, I’m gonna have to take a back seat on this one, but then again so will you later when I’m driving you home”

  66. Kid!! Fear not the bull. Think of him as a part of old macdonald’s farm..

  67. Keep your eyes on the tach son, that is Bernie’s girlfriend.

  68. It is true! I read it on F1 Fanatic.

  69. Alright son. Remember your lunchbox okay?

  70. When you get a podium, I’ll buy you your first shaving machine.

  71. If you have to go number 2 go now before it is too late…

  72. “And they said they’re gonna give you Water Bottle if you get on the podium”
    (Max Looks at the screen with Ricciardo celebrating his win with champagne)

  73. JV: I am not just ‘Joss The Boss’, I am also ‘Your Boss’.

  74. “Remember my words, do anything in your F1 racing career but NEVER do a Maldanado!”

  75. ‘Max, I don’t care how nice those girls giving you champagne on the podium are, if I catch you drinking, I won’t be happy!’

  76. ‘What are you looking at over there Papa?’

    ‘I don’t want to alarm you but your mother is over there, she’s not happy. You left your washing on the floor again!’

  77. Remember: you might be an F1 driver now but bedtime is still 8 P.M.!

  78. Psst, Max, Hamilton’s behind you. Don’t make an eye contact, or he’ll try to give you an interview.

  79. AMR (@aiera-music)
    30th August 2014, 21:54

    “Don’t let them talk you into removing that filter thing from the fuel rig either.”

  80. “If you crash in Austrlia you’re not having any ice cream that night.”

  81. – “Son, if you win a race, perhaps a girl would kiss you!”
    – “I’ll try, dad!”

  82. Right, where’s the boss ? The advert said kids eat free !

  83. Okay… now for the inside. The cervix would be right between my index and second fingers.

  84. Max – Dad, can I have some Champagne?
    Jos – Sure, in Bahrain and Abu Dhabi

  85. Listen, it is better to be paid to drive in F1 rather than have to pay to drive in GP2 ow whatever in spite of gaining much needed experience. Trust me, it work out well in my case…didn’t it?

  86. Max “I was told that if you can cope with going from 0-16 in under three seconds, you’re ready for F1”, Jos “Max, it’s 0-60, not 0-16 – maybe you’re going deaf!”

  87. Jos: “Ha, Schumacher’s son still drives kartings!”

  88. Jos: Now Max, your mummy was a kart driver and I’ve driven lots of different cars, you should be able to drive one of these F1 cars, it’s basically like scalextric !

  89. “No son, the bearded guy in the red suit performing miracles driving that red nosed sledge around the world is not Santa – its Fernando.”

  90. See how Vergne and Kvyat have their settings? You will always be able to turn yours to ‘Max’. Every radio comm will be ‘Max this, or Max that’…so now you see what your mother and I did there?

    1. Ok, this one is the winner!

  91. Jos- now just remember you them big balls, the ones you inherited from me!
    who’s ya daddy?
    Max- that’s not what mum told me………

  92. My son…VET was WDC in the RB7….you managed to crash it during a Demo….You might want to leave Toro Rosso and buy a seat at Caterham, with KOB who has crashed a Ferrari the same way.

  93. Just don’t put the demonstration car into the wall on your first day in an F1 car. Ok?

  94. Son,let me tach you how to make donuts…

    Like this
    Not like this

  95. Jos: You have great lips. You do not need any plastic surgery.
    Max: But there are not big enough!!!!!
    Jos: Why so serious?

  96. Jos: okay son lets talk about the bees and the birds. Before it were the birds but now its the bees… Interupted by Max.
    Max: But pa I know what birds and the bees are but what the heck are you talking about?

    Jos: Sorry son, I am comparring the engines. Right now they sound like bees but before they were as fast as the birds.

    Max: I see now so it will take time to get laid.

  97. Son, just remember one thing, look out for those German guys!

  98. Be home by 10pm and remember you can’t play at Singapore, it is past your bedtime

  99. So, remember: whatever you do – don’t damage the car

  100. JOS: Ok max, to get the perfect shave leave the foam on for at least 3 minutes, of course you’ll have to wait a couple of years.

  101. The first thing to do in Formula 1 is take the most expensive car and crash it right into a wall. It’ll show all the other cars who’s the new boss.

  102. Now Max, the key to a good press photos is to always look like you’re having a meaningful conversation. See how I fold my arms, wave my hand a little… don’t look now! Here comes a photographer – MAX, I SAID DON’T LOOK!

  103. Jos: This is how you do it son
    Max: Aha… Podium in my dream..

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