Caption Competition 69: Max Verstappen

Caption Competition

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F1’s soon-to-be-record-breaking youngster Max Verstappen is preparing for his debut in March at the wheel of the team’s new car.

Here’s a picture the team tweeted recently of the 17-year-old learning the ropes with race engineer Xevi Pujolar at the team’s headquarters.

Can you think of a funny caption to go with this picture? Post your suggestion in the comments and a selection of the best will appear in a future edition of the F1 Fanatic round-up.

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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158 comments on “Caption Competition 69: Max Verstappen”

  1. There’s the picture of when you went into the liquor store. Did you think nobody would notice you, young man?

    1. This is where I will have to sign for you.

  2. “You haven’t been attending school lately. Here are your DNFs.”

  3. Max get’s some help completing his maths homework.

  4. … Just remember to clear your history next time, for God’s sake Max.

    1. ColdFly F1 (@)
      25th January 2015, 0:02

      good one

  5. Grrrr….. if he points at that screen one more time I’m going to punch him in the face

  6. This is Maldonado!

  7. And that’s where babies come from

  8. I’m sorry Max, but your high-school teachers gave you an F in every subject.

    1. The teachers gave you an F-1 on every subject! ;)

      1. Sorry but in the Netherlands they use a 1-10 grade which 11 is the best (10)

  9. Is there really no end to al this Spanish gibberish?

  10. MV: Please don’t check my browser history. Don’t click on that button! Please don’t!

  11. MV: I really have to pee.

  12. OK, Max, according to your grades, which are all Fails, you seem consistent enough.

  13. “I’ve got homework to do”

  14. MV: Please give me a bathroom break! Please!

  15. Here’s how I think we can improve;
    Pronounce with less monotony and in shorter sentences, look more enthusiastic. Remember Kimi is Kimi, you’re not him. And don’t cuss on the podium like Seb.

  16. Max Verstappen looks on guiltily for stealing Xevi’s credit card to rent 18+ movies.

    1. Alternatively:

      XP: “THIS is why you were banned from Club Penguin?”

  17. Hmmm I think I need to teach you how to delete you browser history Max

  18. “A is for Accelerator. B is for Brake Pedal. C is for…”

  19. Max to Vexi : That is not how you poke.. (on facebook)

  20. Ugh, i thought Formula 1 had more to do with racing and less to do with this computer crap

  21. XP: “And this page, young man, is F1Fanatic. Watch out, they scramble names.”
    MV: “Whatevs, VP.”

  22. Random Man – “I believe you will be given enough credits for competing in Formula 1, so you don’t need to do any extra curricular activities after school”

  23. That awkward moment your parents come in without knocking….

  24. Max : Does this mean I have to work on weekends ????

  25. “It says here you are a fast learner, have a strong education and can adapt well to change.
    So tell me why you think you are suitable for this role stacking shelves at Tesco?”

  26. After months of research, 3D models and aero tests, Max and his engineer finally agree on the final Booster Seat design.

    1. ColdFly F1 (@)
      25th January 2015, 0:31

      haha

  27. You’ve got to be kidding man !

    1. BTW, I remember a caption competition had already started in the round-up with this picture.

  28. Imagine that website made you the 69th Caption in that competition!

  29. “Is this how I will look like with a beard?”

  30. This is where the bee pollinates the flower…

  31. So, Max… this is A. What comes NeXT?

  32. “Let’s try this one more time Max, in this situation, do you need to do A: nothing, B: lift the throttle or C: brake?”

  33. Max: ‘God this stuff is boring, I can’t wait to get home and play my F1 game…’

  34. next* damn autocorrect

  35. Xevi Pujolar says: As you can read here in this forum post, F1 fans still see you as just a kid and don’t think you have enough experience.
    Max Verstappen thinks: They who says it are it!

  36. Also, and this is not a contender:

    Xevi Pujolar says: As you can read here in this forum post, F1 fans still see you as just a kid and don’t think you have enough experience.
    Max Verstappen thinks: Their moms didn’t complain.

  37. Let’s watch the Macau replay again: if you reverse like this during the exam, you’ll never get your driving licence.

  38. “This is how NOT to pit in Germany”

  39. We used to call that a fuel rig. But never talk about it to daddy.

  40. The headteacher was disappointed with Max’s decreasing standard of school work ever since he started “Driving in circles”.

  41. Max, remember that if you do get on the podium, do NOT drink the champagne you are under age.

    1. hahaha that’s a good point, what happens if he goes to the podium in the USA, for example? Will he be allowed to drink champagne with the other drivers (or at the very least toast it)?

  42. Max! This computer is the same age as you. You better be faster than it.

  43. OK Max, this is the steering wheel. You use this to turn left and right. Got it!

  44. Xevi: “A is for apple…”

    Max: “J…is for jacks?”

  45. Xevi points out where Max went wrong in his maths homework.
    Xevi: “Here you are suppose to carry the two”

  46. Tyanne Alexander
    24th January 2015, 14:39

    This can’t be right am I a formula 1 driver or a naughty little school boy being sent to the heads office.

  47. And this is the button for milk

  48. and this is why we do not use acronyms for Maximum Inertia Lowest Force when researching online

  49. In a few years time, this is the haircut we need to make you look younger

  50. You need to give your most mature stare so the media can’t get to you

  51. “Right so you are this guy called ‘Max Verstappen”

  52. blah blah V10 blah blah proper gearboxes blah blah real noise – these old timers are just SOOO tedious

  53. Xevi: And this is Jacques Villeneuve’s opinion of our decision to hire you…

  54. Engineer: …and that, Max, is what torque is. Were you listening?

    MV: Just leave me alone, I know what I’m doing!

  55. Max: “Yea yea yea, i’ll know what to do!”

  56. If you haven’t already watched, this is the new movie hit directed by Jean Todt, “No country for young men”

  57. MV: this is no time for a history lesson, I need to learn how this thing called a gearbox works

  58. ‘Look Max. You’re on the F1fanatic caption competition!’

  59. Max i think this helmet design would go well with your school uniform.

  60. Dad, please get me out of here.

  61. A is for Apple….

  62. Hey, look Max, we’re in the picture they’re using for this week’s Caption Competition on F1 Fanatic!

  63. “And this is where babies come from”

  64. XP: Hello kid, so you come for the warehouse job right? there’s your uniform, you start tomorrow.
    MV: No, I’m the driver…
    XP: Great! you can also do deliveries.

  65. “As you can see, the car’s already pretty heavy, so you won’t be able to wear a nappy. We’ll have to get you potty trained before the first test.”

  66. Daniel (@mechanicalgrip22)
    24th January 2015, 16:36

    So one more time Max, just so I’m sure,……this is how I update my Facebook status?

  67. ‘If I ever see you again watching these pictures of the STR10 nose I swear you are going to regret it, kid. This is just for adults!’

  68. Max Verstappen hopelessly looks on as Vexi Pujolar adds him as a Facebook friend.

  69. Vexi: Look Max, you’re in the F1 Fanatic Caption Contest!
    Max: Yeah, the 69th one…

  70. Max: So…do I have homework or not?

  71. So by my calculations, if you can raise another few million we can get your little brother in the other race seat aswell.

  72. “This is what happens in a Formula 1 pit stop. Just be glad that refuelling is banned these days.”

  73. Max Verstappen is unimpressed by the pen wobbling magic trick.

  74. hugo-the - rabbit
    24th January 2015, 17:07

    Ok max you passed the questions section of your theory test now the hazard perception test.

  75. Right Max, onto Media Relations. You are not allowed to look grumpy in photos, like you do in this one here. You have to smile! Is that understood Max.. er Max?

  76. “I don’t like homework.”

  77. So, wait, this black round thing down there is a… tire?
    And what’s for?

  78. Xevi: I still don’t understand how you expect to memorise what I say, most drivers take several pages of notes when I talk to them. You’re still overlooking the wider repercussions of inattention. We have the results from yesterday’s simulator run at 2014 Melbourne from 8th on the grid, and your strategic outlook improved almost very slightly. I told you the $100 million dollar car needs finesse. You race terminated at turn 5 on lap 14, needing $1 million dollars of early maintenance at which point you had lost 10 places, which is a bit better … blah blah … weren’t reading the gauges … blah blah …. Now you should be writing this down … on the first corner on the first lap, … blah blah … again the premature signs you won’t finish this race and your 1 million dollar engine wear is exacerbated, … turn 2 … telling you on the RT … asking me why … tactical disadvantages at subsequent races … understanding gauges, … turn 3 … laughing as he drives past … engine temperature … g loads … shouting at me … stress on the chassis … loudly on the RT … gear box … hydraulics … voltages … trying to calm him down … current … on the straight … spend more time studying notes … his blood pressure … gearbox temperature … turn 14 … plenty of paper … livid rage … engine temperature … free clip board … throwing computers onto the floor … excessive tyre wear … fuel consumption is in the red zone, … tyres getting to hot …. really hot under the collar … lap 2 … free ball point pens … brake pads … extremely irate General Manager marketing … ” blah blah blah.
    Max thinks: What language are you speaking?

    1. Check mate.

  79. Engineer- now this is a picture of a woman’s anatomy, I know you’ve not had real world experience, but your hand makes for a great simulator…

  80. “Max you don’t break the car here, you b-r-a-k-e the car here”

  81. Please for heavens sake Max don’t crash here.

  82. Max, this Facebook photo shows you drinking a Monster. Care to explain?

    1. Max: Nico went up to me and gave a Monster as an F1
      driver initiation.

  83. Ok Max (sigh), we’ve got it down to two. Which helmet do you want? ‘Junior GP Star’, or the ‘Little Schumey’?

  84. A for Aero
    B for Ballast
    C for Cockpit
    D for Downforce……………….

  85. Max thinking: I could use a toaster strudel with nesquik now!!!

    Instructor: NO MAX!!! NO DESSERT UNTIL YOU EAT YOUR VEGGIES!!!!

  86. Xevi Pujolar giving hints to Max Verstappen after failing his first driving theory test.

  87. This PC is faster than you.

  88. Sorry Max, to keep the weight down we can’t let you take your dummy in the car.

  89. Max: is this sexual education?!
    Xevi: no, this is your car nose.

  90. “Why is your history cleared?”

  91. Look at the angle Sebastian holds his finger to show maximum supremacy and cause the maximum annoyance.

  92. Looking at your driving theory results, you need to work on your hazard perception and awareness otherwise you’ll crash like Maldonado

  93. And this is the corner where we need you to block Seb during qualifying in Australia.

  94. Max was very upset to discover that he had homework from his new job.

  95. After being shown footage of Jos’s Benetton fire, Max looks disgusted at the suggestion to reintroduce refuelling.

  96. And here at 21:27pm Max is where our proxy logs you searching ‘Jessica Michibata nip slip’.
    Now I’m not annoyed about the material you’re looking at, we’ve all been teenage boys. But this is clearly past your beef time!

    1. *bed time

  97. ..and that is the room you get locked in if you crash the car…

  98. “Happen to know where my laptop screen’s gone Max?”

  99. And that, is a grid girl. Your overalls are not equipped with the space if you decide to touch one.

  100. Ok so I’ve had a look at your single seater racing history and, well, it’s not as big as the amount of disturbing websites I’ve found in your browser history

  101. Verstappen stroppy as Xevi points out that they can’t fit a 1600W sub woofer and chrome spinners to the STR10.

  102. He looks like hes thinking he could be out on the lash with his mates lol

  103. This is a Red Bull, you let those guys pass you.

  104. Bore-o Rosso believe their dull tired grey reputation is unjustified after unveiling an exciting new red pen for the 2015 season.

  105. ColdFly F1 (@)
    25th January 2015, 0:46

    Welcome Max, this is your work experience schedule at Torro Rosso.
    week 1: shelf stacking in the warehouse.

  106. Hey !
    Teacher!
    leave them kids alone,

    1. on and on, it’s just another car on the grid

  107. “This is a ballpoint pen. You can switch from pencils over to these once you’re a bit more mature.”

  108. VP: So, Max, are you learning your ABCs?
    MV: “Yes, yes, yes, I’m doing it all the time. You don’t have to remind me every second.”

  109. VP: “And that’s where this part goes in. Pay close attention. Yes, Max, I’m talking about the part underneath your hands.”

  110. and your history grades are fine, so we just need to make up a few credits in extra curricular activities. Are you any good at any sports?

  111. If you keep sulking then it’s off to the naughty step

  112. “So Max, if we can stay on schedule, you will time for your driver’s license around 2018 but your WDC 2017.”

    1. “have time” ..pls connect to Disqus so we can edit.

  113. “Cheer up Max,
    FP1 gets you out of school for the day. “

  114. and you thought an F1 drive would get you out of your homework!

  115. Max , we are about to face-time your science teacher

  116. “how come Kimi doesn’t have to get up before 10am?”

  117. Verstappen shows his poker face after Pujolar showed him his Pinocchio-faced car

  118. Now, look here. What’s the answer to 2 x 6? Remember the times tables we went through yesterday?

  119. “Pay attention, Max. You can play out with your friends when we’re done. Now, what is the stopping distance on a wet motorway when travelling at 70 mph?”

  120. XP:”Max, careful on what you share on Twitter. We have strict rules on that.”
    MV [thinking]: “He talks as if he’s Bernie.”

  121. I can use a fanboost right now.

  122. “Blah, blah, blah…. yeah, fine, when are we going to DRIVE????”

    “If I see one more graph with a coefficient, I am going to puke.”

    “I got out of school for THIS??”

    “Wow, these F1 tires are going to SUCK.”

  123. When all candles be out, all cats be grey.
    John Heywood

  124. Miguel (@miguelangelo1995)
    25th January 2015, 18:53

    Max Verstappen studying for his driving theory test

  125. Max: When is recess?

  126. This is your salary. Yes, unfortunately you will be paid “only” $500,000.

  127. Dont forget you’re here to promote the redbull brand to young teens not race. Avoid getting in the way of real racers expecially Ricciardo, Kvyat… actually everyone…yes even the Sauber drivers.

  128. “Well Max, you’ve nearly passed your theory test, but the hazard perception scores are really poor. I think you will be ready for your practical in a few more lessons.”

  129. Christopher Fonseka
    26th January 2015, 9:56

    “This website is 18+ for a reason Max; I don’t want to catch you faking your date of birth again!”

  130. What’s this on my Itunes account ???

  131. Michael (@freelittlebirds)
    26th January 2015, 17:26

    Max, do you see that room in the back with all the boxes? That’s Daniel Ricciardo’s fan mail – we want you to sort them alphabetically.

  132. Ok OK, i get it, can i go and play outside now

  133. XP : “You need high corner speeds at turn 18 and turn 19 so as to gain about 0.2 secs or so………….(blah..blah).”

    MV : “Ta ra dum dum…Ta ra dum dum…Ta ra dum…”

  134. Max thinking: F1, hhmmmm, I’m so getting LAID!

  135. He is even more boring then my father!

  136. You have been slow here, here and here. You are grounded young man. Give me your cell phone, and the tablet.

  137. “…..and as you can see we’ve also put 2 more wheels at the back”

  138. “technically it’s the STR10, but shiny shiny brmm brmm is fine if it’s easier for you”

  139. …and we can clearly see here that you failed to signal or use your mirrors before driving away from the pit lane.

  140. dougie (@mclarenforever)
    6th March 2015, 22:30

    Your teacher has emailed you some work on destruction of fast-travelling matter. Instructions are as follows:
    Step 1:Try to overtake Maldonado…

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