Pastor Maldonado, Lotus, Mad Max promotional shoot, 2015

Caption Competition 82: Pastor Maldonado

Caption CompetitionPosted on | Author Keith Collantine

Pastor Maldonado, Lotus, Mad Max promotional shoot, 2015

Pastor Maldonado tries out a specially modified Lotus F1 car in a publicity shoot for a new Mad Max film earlier this year.

Can you come up with a funny caption for this picture? Post your suggestion in the comments below and a selection of the best will appear in a future edition of the F1 Fanatic Round-up.

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166 comments on “Caption Competition 82: Pastor Maldonado”

  1. “Show me where in the rules it says you CAN’T mount weaponry on the car.”

    1. FlyingLobster27
      8th August 2015, 15:28

      Surely the barrels would count as movable aero devices. :D

    2. How about just he quotes, I’ll be back maldonator 2

  2. “I think I saw a cute steward”

  3. “My name is Pastor. My world is fire and blood. As the world falls, each of us in our own way is broken. It’s hard to know who is more crazy… me… or everyone else.”

    1. That’s the best.

  4. When we asked Pastor what changes he’d make to the car… everything became clear.

  5. In a very robot voice.

    “Target acquired.”

    1. Might as well get a Mad Max one out of the way as well.

      “WITNESS ME BROTHER.” *hits Grosjean*

  6. I dare you to give me a drive-through, Charlie.

    1. @vettel1 Woah, I think I found “Mad Max”.

  7. I race! I crash! I race again!

    1. This. +1000!

      1. +1. BTW it must be like the best CC photo ever!

  8. In response to the Kimi Raikkonen statement F1 isn’t dangerous enough, Lotus publish their vision for a more dangerous racing car. Despite many protests on the grounds of safety, the FIA still allow them to include a Pastor Maldonado.

    1. Nice one :)

    2. Excellent!

  9. Bernie’s ideas for the 2017 revamp of the regulations, to bring back excitement to Formula 1.

  10. Arijit (@arijitmaniac)
    8th August 2015, 12:19

    Time to be aggressive!

  11. No words, just the real picture

    http://i.imgur.com/RZnSXYH.jpg

  12. “I need crash-proof car”

  13. Mal: I thought i’ve ordered a bumper car?

  14. I think I can do more damage on the track with my usual car. When it runs!

  15. Maldonado has been designing cars in his free time.

  16. How people look at Pastor driving a Lotus

  17. Maldonado decides to spice up the racing.
    Even more.

  18. I don’t need these to create carnage and destruction, I just need to drive.

  19. Mal: Am i allowed to overtake?

    Pit: You have a go hit the “kill switch”

  20. I’ll just crash here for now.

    1. @pezlo2013 You’re expecting @keithcollantine to go for this one again?

  21. Pastor Maldonado tries to tell Max Verstappen to calm down his racing in the most discreet way possible

  22. Now, where’s that 17 year-old Mad Max?

  23. Finally they gave me a car that helps me to reach my true potential

  24. Pastor officially announces his new name change: Max Maldonado.

  25. Nick (@theawesomefish)
    8th August 2015, 12:56

    I knew the 2017 regulations were too loose.

  26. After running out of parts in a particularly crash filled session, the Lotus engineers had to improvise in order to repair all the damages on Pastor’s car.

  27. Mercedes in token spend madness

  28. “Mediocre”

  29. Pastor’s going to do all his future stop-and-go penalties in style.

  30. “I won’t be crashing into anyone from here on out.”

  31. No, seriously. Check if this car would pass scrutineering…

  32. “I can crash so much more cars with this beauty…”

  33. Several drivers have commented recently on how to improve the spectacle of F1. Alonso wants an increase in testing, Vettel wants louder engines and Montoya suggested removing tire sensors.

    When reporters asked Maldonado the question, he stunned on-lookers by rolling out a ready made prototype of his vision…

  34. AMR (@aiera-music)
    8th August 2015, 13:38

    “Lotus said I have to use the practice car until my sponsorship money comes through.”

  35. Pastor in search for becoming even more dangerous on the track

  36. “Now I’m gonna get U all…”

  37. Who said I had a problem crashing?

  38. lets put this show on the road.

  39. lets put some heat in these tires.

  40. outa the way i am coming through.

  41. anyone can drive a F1 car, yeah lets see you drive this sucker.

  42. Maldonado give his design input for this 2016 car.

  43. Car number 13 under investigation: unsafe release.

  44. You guys still wanna out qualify me?

  45. Who needs mirrors?!

  46. New upgrades set to make F1 more exciting.

  47. I’m a fuel injected suicide machine… I am the out-of-controller!

  48. Guys, I pushing the button right now, why are these flamethrowers broken!

  49. Man, this photo-shoot is not going to help my reputation…

  50. Formula One in disarray in Spa as drivers refuse to race on safety grounds. Pastor Maldonado refused to comment on the matter.

  51. Maldonado demonstrates what all the buttons are for on his steering wheel.

  52. “How am I supposed not to crash if they don’t even give me wing mirrors?”

  53. To the Max !
    8th August 2015, 15:13

    “If only the Mad Max World be real, then I already would have been a multiple WDC.”

  54. Michael (@freelittlebirds)
    8th August 2015, 15:33

    There’s no doubt in any F1 fan’s mind that I was the inspiration for that movie!

  55. To increase the odds of him actually reaching the finish line, Lotus make some minor modifications to Pastors car. They never liked the no.13 on it anyway.

  56. Maldonado has been working hard for the second half of the season.

  57. I hope this upgrade works

  58. Caramba! They spelled Mad Mal wrong.

  59. V8s! V8s! V8s!

  60. Pastor MaldanadoMaldanado said “the new car really suits my driving style”

  61. Black 'n' Blue15
    8th August 2015, 16:44

    Pastor gets first test run of the 2017 Prototype Car

  62. Lotus F1 prepare to welcome creditors to Enstone.

  63. Black 'n' Blue15
    8th August 2015, 16:48

    Which one am I after, Chilton or Verstappen?

  64. Mad Mal Beyond Autodromo (Nazionale Monza)

  65. Why on EARTH is there Comic Sans on this car?

  66. “With this, I’ll win ahead of everyone”

  67. After a hefty bill of repairs over the last two years, Lotus was about to sell the car in the scrapyard until……Pastor comes with another sponsorship….MadMax!

  68. Saurabh (@sksahukanker62)
    8th August 2015, 17:42

    BUCKET LIST
    Alonso
    Button
    Gutierez ✅
    Hamilton ✅
    Hulkenberg ✅
    Kimi
    Myself ✅✅✅
    Paul Di Resta ✅
    Perez ✅
    Rosberg
    Sainz
    Teammate ✅
    Two Force Indias in 1 corner ✅
    Verstappen ✅

    YESSSS !!! bring some new drivers in F1…

  69. When no one else finishes, I can win.

  70. Finally! All-terrain tires for my shortcuts.

  71. Exterminate, Annihilate, Destroy!

  72. jack Overill
    8th August 2015, 18:41

    Pastor taking on the haters…

  73. Target locked:
    “Let’s see how much durable are those Pirellis”.

  74. My name is Maldonado. Pastor Maldonado.

  75. Dangerous, expensive to run and with no regard for the rules. But at least he has a new car.

  76. what do you mean ‘too much aero?’

  77. Pastor to interview pen: Okay you may now ask your questions. (noise of cars continuing to race in the background)

  78. My name is Pastor… and this is my world…

  79. ”Are you sure this can beat a Mclaren”

  80. I’d love to write something funny but this won’t be if the car gets an engine in the back.

  81. What have they done to my Lotus? As if it wasn’t bad already…

  82. “What? It’s my money”

  83. “These barriers don’t stand a chance now”

  84. Pastor is trying to improve his racing style image.

  85. Caracas City Council allows Uber to take passengers to Simón Bolívar International Airport.

  86. Duncan Snowden
    8th August 2015, 23:03

    “What? Something failed scrutineering? Is it the tyres? It’s the tyres, isn’t it?”

    “Er, guys… this headrest’s loose.”

    “Mercedes are gonna hate this livery. Like I care…”

    “Yeah, this could work…”

  87. In response to Maldanado’s frequently crashes, Lotus engineers have developed a few updates to remove nearby cars on track.

  88. Look out Spa! I gotta a lotta bite point now.

  89. “I bring money….I bring chaos….fear me, for I am Crashtor.”

  90. The budget cap finally came through.

  91. Maldonado hopes to climb the driver rankings now that the car finally suits his style of driving

  92. “Er, I broke it”

  93. The concept car based on suggestions from the latest fan survey gets Pastor’s approval

  94. Nobody’s gonna stop me!

  95. That day, Maldonado destroyed all the competition

  96. These modifications improve MY reliability and do not enhance performance.

  97. The first prototype of Venezuela’s first state owned people’s socialist race car didn’t impress everyone but was still named in honor of Max Mosley..

  98. Pat Ruadh (@fullcoursecaution)
    9th August 2015, 2:01

    IN A WORLD OF EVER-CHANGING RULES AND REGULATIONS… THERE WAS ONE MAN…. WHO REFUSED TO GIVE UP…

    Brought to you by far too much oil money….

    Directed by an unwarranted sense of self-entitlement…

    Rated ‘R’ for reckless…

    PASTOR MALDONADO: THE ROAD WARRIOR

  99. Pastor “I feel strangely calm in this car”

  100. “Say hello to my little friend!”

  101. gordon freeman
    9th August 2015, 3:07

    “they can’t win the race if they don’t even qualify! i’ll make sure of that”

  102. (thought bubble) – If only….

  103. “I would be World Champion in this Formula”

  104. I’m the most complete driver now!

  105. ‘after another tough weekend Maldonado leaves the circuit in his road car.’

  106. The 2016 Lotus will be built to suit Pastor’s driving style.

  107. Mad Maldo

  108. Lotus relied heavily on Pastor Maldonado’s inputs on car development.

  109. Nice!! But I don’t need a specially modified car to cause chaos…

  110. The new Formula Maldonado cars are revealed before the inaugural 2016 season.
    The championship sees 2 men enter, but only 1 man leave! 😜

  111. So… this is where all Lotus’ money went… I wonder if Charlie will let me take this out.

  112. yes, who’s next?

  113. Radio transmission “Ok pastor so – bite point check, three burn outs – whoops you fired the flamethrowers 3 marshals down – ok no penalty”

  114. Pastor likes Ecclestone’s new plan to ‘Spice up the show”.

  115. Ok fine, I’ll sit in the car…But this better not turn up on one of F1 fanatic’s caption competitions.

    1. @keithedin Ah, very meta :-)

  116. I am Mad Max beyond Tilkedrome….

    1. ^ Winner

  117. Joni (@theflyingfinns)
    9th August 2015, 10:19

    Pastor Maldonado’s latest crash left the Lotus in quite a “different” shape

  118. My car looks like this one after the first corner

  119. Exstortionelf
    9th August 2015, 11:48

    Pastor pushing his reputation of being a loose cannon to the Max …

  120. Alasdair Russell
    9th August 2015, 12:13

    Lotus reveal their new plan to win races with a deadly combination of heavy weaponry and Pastor Maldonado.

  121. Being out-performed over the first half of the season, Maldonado now races as Grosjean’s rear gunner.

  122. “I need a shorter nose”

  123. Maldonado went too far with the tyre war proposal.

  124. MAD MALDONADO: Failure Road

  125. And, over here, is our most effective weapon at removing other drivers from the track: Pastor Maldonado.

  126. Lotus replaces DRS with ORS…Opponent Reduction System. So effective, no helmet required.

  127. Lotus is seen here in this spy shot testing the new Pirelli’s along with the warmers that will be needed to keep them at temp.

  128. Yeah they’re flame throwers…so what? They use a third less fuel than the previous generation.

  129. “Who runs F1town”?

  130. Convinced that he was not at fault for any of the collisions with other drivers Pastor Maldonado requested some upgrades to his Lotus…

  131. I’m to sexy for my car, to sexy for my car, to sexy by far…..

    1. * Too sexy

  132. Here comes Mad Maxonaldo!

  133. “I’ve told you I don’t know how many times. I’m quick enough for the guns to be facing backwards. OK!”

  134. Lotus went too far with the overtake button function.

  135. Lucy Caldeira
    9th August 2015, 20:35

    I’m sorry Pastor, but it’s safer for all around you….

  136. “Max Mosely announced new budget cap proposals today, with backing from cash-strapped Lotus F1”

  137. Mad Max?! I’m more of a “wacky races” fan.

  138. Bernie just won’t give up on his quest for ‘push to pass’ driver aides to be part of the show.

  139. PM: “This car is clearly equipped for the Mexican Grand Prix. Bring it on!”

  140. “Pastor tries to deflect his ‘crashtor’ reputation the the newest ‘crash kid’ on the block..”

  141. Max Mosley’s comeback as a team leader chocked everyone.

  142. “I think this weekend with the new parts we will be much quicker than our rival, not really with absolute pace but relative pace.”

  143. I asked for a more aggressive design but our designers are a bit thick in the head.

  144. PM: Are you not entertained?!

  145. That’s when they realised they should have sponsored Toro Rosso instead

  146. If you can’t beat them, broil them.

  147. After comments that F1 isn’t dangerous enough, the FIA have made some changes but this takes things too far… Not with the weapons but with the driver.

  148. Or moldonator is being very clear he shall go back to the past and destroy max , hence he writes mad at max ,

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