Caption Competition 86: Rosberg, Hamilton – and Alonso

Caption Competition

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Nico Rosberg and Lewis Hamilton keep an eye on Fernando Alonso’s progress during the rain-hit practice for the Japanese Grand Prix.

Can you come up with the best caption for this picture? Post your funniest suggestion in the comments below.

A selection of the best will feature in a future edition of the F1 Fanatic Round-up.

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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164 comments on “Caption Competition 86: Rosberg, Hamilton – and Alonso”

  1. “Looks like a wet dog of a car”

  2. Rosberg: “What about going back to your ‘heart team, Lewis?”

  3. “To think, that could’ve been me…l”

    “I wish it was you!”

  4. i didnt think GP2 were racing this weekend

    1. I guess I just lost my motivation to write a funny caption.

  5. “And you dare complain about our car?”

  6. Hey Nico, do you think we should give Alonso a go in our car?

  7. Nico: “Amazing car! Wouldn’t you love to drive one of those?”

    Lewis: “Nice try.”

  8. Nico: Is this Replay speed?

    Lewis: No its Real time.

  9. Nico – I’m not going out in that that looks dangerous!… Lewis -I’m not going out in that, that’s gonna make my new hair frizzy!

  10. “Are you sure it’s not playing at half speed?”

  11. I thought this was a live feed?

    It is

    Then why’s it in slow motion?

  12. “Alonso is really busy this weekend, qualifying starts in fifteen minutes and he’s still racing in his GP2 car…”

  13. You can literally see Fernando’s tears of regret on the screen…

    1. This one…

  14. The FIA showcase their new ‘for just £2 a month’ charity advert campaign..

    1. LOL! you can almost hear Sarah McLachlan singing…

  15. HAM: – What a shame
    ROS: – Yeah
    HAM: – It’s about you

  16. That’s the exact moment Fernando says “GP2, AARGH!” – Note the moisture on the camera.

  17. Lewis to Nico: I am so lucky that guy is not my team mate.

  18. Lewis : An that’s when he said he will never drive for McLaren again….

  19. Nico – if we leave the garage now we could still catch him.
    Lewis – run or cycle?

  20. “Do you think they added the water effects afterwards to make it look like it was going at a reasonable speed?”

  21. Lewis to Nico – And then Fernando said, he will beat us in that Mclaren :D

  22. Look, Fernando is fase thans Massa!

  23. Nico: look aan slowmo recording of Fernando’s drive.
    Ham: no that’s real time

    1. damn, you must have posted while i was reading the comments and writing mine!!!!

  24. Lewis: Isn’t that your line Nico?

  25. Lewis: “Hey Nico, don’t you just love these slow motion replays”

    OR

    Lewis: “I’m gonna leave it a bit before i go out, looks like its raining too heavy just now”
    Nico: “It stopped raining half an hour ago, there Alonso’s tears”

    1. Hamilton’s question it’s unnecessary, and it makes it longer. It works better as a one-liner:

      “Nico: Hey Lewis, it stopped raining half an hour ago, those are Fernando’s tears”.

      Good one nonetheless :)

  26. Lewis: what’s the point of practice again?
    Nico: getting faster!
    Lewis: that’s my point!

  27. Lewis: “If you hit me at the start tomorrow, this is what you’ll be driving next year”.

  28. Even Lewis and Nico paused in amazement to witness Fernando exit Suzuka and take the onramp to the freeway in the hope of finding cars he could overtake…

    1. Winner winner chicken dinner

  29. Nico: “Look no-one else has posted a lap time and Alonso still hasn’t done a purple sector”

  30. “Can’t believe they pay him more than both of us for driving a GP2 car.”

  31. Lewis and Nico watching Alonso finish the race after completing the podium ceremonies :)

    1. looooool XD +1

  32. Lewis: “That GP2 driver is taking the same line in the wet I passed you last year”
    Nico: “I’ve poured over the data from last year and you’ll not find it so easy again”

  33. Lewis: it sounds a lot faster than it looks.
    Nico: yeah they sure now how to build a muffler at Honda’s

  34. Lewis and Nico spectating a wet GP2 practice session together.

  35. “A tenner says his engine blows this lap.”

  36. “Is that rain or tears?”

  37. Hamilton suggesting Nico to join Mclaren, as a driver who’s tired of finishing second should!

    1. Many good ones so far, but that’s an automatic winner, if you ask me.
      Awesome ;)

  38. Despite light contact Hamilton maintains the inside line at the TV table. Rosberg hunches back and concedes the position.

  39. These racing overalls get really tight when they’ve been wet.

  40. Nico, how come whenever we play F1 2015, you always play as me?

  41. Hamilton and Rosberg feel themselves ageing as the McLaren powers round Suzuka.

  42. Having completed the race, Nico and Lewis check in on the McLaren of Fernando Alonso while they wait for the rest of the field to finish.

  43. ColdFly F1 - @coldfly (@)
    3rd October 2015, 13:38

    C’mon Nico let’s switch back to the video of Roscoe in the spa!

  44. Nico: ALMOST everyone thought you were crazy for joining Mercedes.

  45. Alonso’s new pit crew

  46. Is it raining out?

    No, it’s just Fernando’s tears.

  47. Blonde and Blonder

  48. Mark Temple: “Fernando, Stoffel is faster than you”

  49. Nico: “There’s a small river starting to flow down the hill into turn one… and i think its faster than the McLaren”

  50. OmarRoncal - Go Seb!!! - @omarr-pepper (@)
    3rd October 2015, 14:13

    “Maybe he can still wear that helmet with his points. He won’t change the design while he drives a McLaren”.

  51. OmarRoncal - Go Seb!!! - @omarr-pepper (@)
    3rd October 2015, 14:14

    “Look, Fernando is still in Monza”.

  52. Even the Gods are crying for him.
    Holy Honda is Horrible

  53. Bradley Cornish
    3rd October 2015, 14:42

    Is Fernando racing in GP2 now?

  54. Lewis and Nico take turns at the new F1 game trying to see who could make the McLaren post a decent lap time!

  55. Championship rivals join hands in support of the teary McLaren.

  56. Well… we could have still been out there if they hadn’t lied about the fuel efficiency.

  57. Toto asks his drivers to watch Alonso’s lap and comment on the car,
    Lewis – You’ll have to ask Nico, it’s much more similar to his laps than mine

  58. Joni (@theflyingfinns)
    3rd October 2015, 15:08

    Nico: ………..
    Lewis: …………….

    just had to :)

  59. So lonely… We should totally give Marussia the Merc engine… :>

  60. Lewis: “Got a beat for song called Slippin’ an’ Slidin’?”
    Nico: “Bum chi chi bum bum chi chi bum…”

  61. Nico and Lewis study the performance of Fernando Flintstone’s new car.

  62. “Toto Wolff makes Lewis and Nico watch Fernando drive to make them see what car they will be driving next year if they collide with each-other on a race”.

  63. Lewis and Nico sample the next gen Codemasters F1 game complete with authentic GP2 support series.

  64. “And on the slow motion replay you can see the line alonso takes into…..oh hang….. on that’s live!

  65. Hey Nico, look there is single world champion speed, you’ve seen second world champion speed……how many World championships do you have?

  66. “Fernando, we’re faster than you…”

  67. How on earth is Alsonso getting
    more coverage than us? He must be doing something different!

  68. “… and the year after his contract finishes, they’ll be the best team again so I can go back and win two more titles…”

  69. How long does Toto want us to stay here, Lewis? Until Bernie gets the message?

  70. How do we change to the Mercedes feed, Lewis? Ask Bernie, Nico – he knows how to work the TV.

  71. “Why is he driving if gears above 5th aren’t working?”
    “No that’s their highest gear Lew…”

  72. Lewis….give me the controller. My turn next.

  73. Look Nico, Fernando is faster than you

  74. “I miss Murray, too”

  75. I think there is something wrong with this new similator

  76. “He said last year it would all be clear why he moved to Mclaren, I still can’t make it out, can you?”

  77. Do you think we should offer to give him a push?

  78. Don’t worry, he can’t bother us from there…

  79. I am not going anywhere Nico…. Am here to stay… It’s your turn to cross ➕ over…..

  80. Hamilton: “Thanks God I left Mclaren”.
    Rosberg: “Oh my God I wish he did not leave Mclaren”.

  81. Wow. He’s really saving a lot of fuel right now…

  82. The Mercedes duo watching a GP2 session.

  83. Nick (@theawesomefish)
    3rd October 2015, 18:56

    “Wow. Race starts in an hour, and Fernando hasn’t even finished FP2 yet.”

  84. Nico: want to make a bet Lewis.
    Lewis: what kind?
    Nico: I bet you €1000 that Fernando will spin out in the next corner.
    Lewis: you’re on!

  85. Lewis: if Fernando dyes his hair blond, he would go faster like me.
    Nico: but Jenson’s hair is blond and he doesn’t seem to go any faster.
    Lewis: I think you have a point there Nico. I will be the only one winning here.

  86. Nico: We look good in blond Lewis do we?
    Lewis: you are so right man.

  87. Lewis and Nico are watching a horror movie to pass the time.

  88. Lewis: “And they questioned the wisdom of my move from Mclaren, I have the last laugh now…”
    Nico: “Not quite Lewis, your hair is still ridiculous”

  89. Lewis: I would never have believed I would ever see the day Fernando would drive a car like that.
    Rosberg: Seeing that reminds me I have to say my prayers at night.

  90. LH “I still don’t see those six tenth’s he keeps banging on about”

    NR whispers under his breath “I hate you”

  91. “Even GP2 gets more airtime that us these days”.

  92. These computer racing games are getting so real.

  93. Is the gp2 race on?

  94. – What is that 8bits videogame?
    – This is Super Nando Racing!
    – It’s so slow!

  95. Is he still going round? The race finished nearly an hour ago.

  96. “I’m not sure which is more painfully awkward to watch, this or the finale of season five of Game of Thrones.”

  97. Lewis : How long will this single lap go on?
    Nico : I am betting his engine will blow up before the lap completes.

  98. Lewis and Nico find time to watch GP2 :-D

  99. Lewis ‘Gp2 car in track’
    Hey nico ‘he was my old teamate’

  100. This Mclaren couldn’t go any faster if they threw it out of a plane.

  101. “Has he STILL not got back to the pits yet? Practice finished half an hour ago.”

  102. You were right mate. Blondes DO have more fun!

  103. Hamilton: “Thank God I left McLaren” (#blessed)
    Rosberg: “That’s why I never signed for 2008”

  104. As Alonso stars in a little known independent Japanese horror movie, Nico and Lewis cannot bring themselves to change the channel…

  105. Well, Fernando did want to drive the ’88 McLaren.. Honda have delivered!

  106. Think his character building moment is being washed away with all this rain?

  107. Lewis – Toto told me, “if we ever crash into each other again, this is what you’ll be driving. That is all”

  108. Nico: “Honda – The Power of Dreams.”
    Lewis: “Looks like a nightmare to me…”

  109. I love these slow motion replays, you can really see Alonso struggling with that set up.

  110. Nico: why is he driving in te rain again?
    Lewis: because he’s al alone so anybody can’t here him make Ferrari sounds in te mcHonda

  111. LH: To think Fernando used to go faster than me.
    NR: So did I.

  112. Lewis: “Let’s text him: ‘remember, don’t embarass the Japanese by saying it’s like GP2′”
    Nico: “will that work?”
    Lewis: “it worked when I told him not to threaten Ron with the spy thing…”

  113. Look! He’s driving his motorhome on track

  114. 100 million tears

  115. …karma

  116. The Merc boys watch on in Suzuka as Alonso finishes the last lap at Spa.

  117. “So that’s the line he takes through turn 1, no wonder he was solid in the first sector… Shame about the rest of the lap”

  118. “All in all that guy is lucky to be driving in the wet, after all it’s Teflonso we’re talking about.”

  119. I don’t know what Alonso is complaining about, when you push fast forward the Honda looks like an F1 engine!

  120. Gesundheit!

  121. Lewis : “This reminds me of Hungary 2006. Did you watch that race? I had no idea that just one year later I would be racing that guy”

    Nico : “Yep. But I also remember Hungary 2007. Just wait and see”

  122. Lewis: Watching this Honda crawl round is so boring.
    Nico: Yeah I can’t believe they show this rubbish instead of one of our laps.

  123. Lewis: um Toto, in the past hour they’ve shown all the other drivers including repeated slow motions of the McLaren, but not a single shot of Nico or I. Has someone upset Bernie?

  124. Lewis: have you seen one of us on the screen yet?
    Nico: nope.

  125. I thought GP2 wasn’t back till sochi..?

  126. “The thing is, Lewis, even going that speed, he doesn’t look as daft as you do”

  127. Lewis: “Bernie’s put the sprinklers on for that gp2 car”

  128. Lewis: Hey no. 2, Toto could’ve got a bigger screen for us to watch this on

  129. Nico: it was nice of the broadcasters to simulate rain on the screens to make the McLaren laptimes look competitive.

  130. Nico: ” you know, they were so confident and full of energy at the start of the season, but deep down they knew that they didn’t had a chance.”

    Lewis:” yeah, a but like you actually”

  131. Toto” Told them to watch the replays back to back, guess they took it the wrong way”

  132. Lewis: “Luckily Rosberg can’t hear what I’m saying as he is wearing earphones.
    Rosberg: “I’m not taking out my earphones and hear what Hamilton is saying.

  133. McLaren should remove the mirrors; they don’t need them.

  134. Nico: “I really do miss the scream of the V8 engine”.
    Lewis:“erm… That’s Fernando mate”

  135. When a dog runs at you, whistle for him …

  136. Alonso, the gp2 is faster than you. let him by

  137. Lewis: “That’s a great lap from Fernando. He’s a full 3 seconds up on my track walk time from this morning.”

  138. Nico the phantom slow mo shot often used by you

  139. Why are we watching Alonso; Vettel is our problem!!

  140. You see Nico, I let Fernando do the development job with Honda,
    and when it’s ready I’ll come back to McLaren and win the title.

  141. he’s downshifting to 3rd gear for turn 1…
    that means we can use 6th…

  142. Lewis and Nico take some time out after the podium ceremony to watch Mclaren finish the race

  143. Lewis: Nico, Fernando is faster than you!

  144. Lewis “I’m tired of winning all the time”
    Nico (makes a call with his BlackBerry) “Hi Ron Dennis, Lewis would like to speak with you.”

    or

    Nico “This must be that new Codemasters game”
    Lewis “You mean F1 2015?”

  145. “keep watching Nico, this is how i learned to drive!”

  146. “are those tears or raindrops?”

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