Caption Competition 133: Mini Alonsos

Caption CompetitionPosted on | Author Keith Collantine

Spain’s F1 drivers of the future or Fernando Alonso’s personal army of tiny clones?

Can you come up with the best caption for this picture? Post your funniest suggestion in the comments below.

A selection of the best will feature in a future edition of the F1 Fanatic Round-up.

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Picture: Fernando Alonso via Instagram

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  • 128 comments on “Caption Competition 133: Mini Alonsos”

    1. “See that marshall over there. That’s where you stop it when you have an engine faillure!”

    2. Joni (@theflyingfinns)
      22nd July 2017, 12:00

      “So the deckchairs are over there. Everyone go grab one and enjoy the view!”

      1. Yeezy918 (@offdutyrockstar)
        22nd July 2017, 12:29

        haha very good.

      2. i was about to post the same line! Beat me to it!

    3. Right over there is where we will pratice breaking down.

      1. Alonso is determined that he will succeed at McLaren and is willing to play the long-game. So he has cloned himself. He hopes that one day, one of these little Alonsos will get a podium with a Honda engine…or at least finish a race.

    4. Honda only brought 10 additional horses with the spec 3 engine, so Alonso decided to bring a few more Alonsos to the party to make up the difference. 0,7 + 0,7 + 0,7 + 0,7 + 0,7 = Merc power

    5. This is the hand signal for overtaking a slow driver on a blue flag.

    6. Ben (@chookie6018)
      22nd July 2017, 12:09

      After hearing about the Halo news. Alonso decided the only option would be to train his own replacement.

    7. No Billy, I told you before – we’ve already covered blocking your team mate in the pits. Now for homework tonight, read chapter seven: “The do’s and don’ts of threatening to release your emails”.

    8. AspergerNerd
      22nd July 2017, 12:13

      “Win this race and you too could drive the worst car on the grid.”

    9. Ben (@scuderia29)
      22nd July 2017, 12:15

      “The Piquet Junior Juniors will crash over there”

      1. Hahaha. :D Best!

      2. tgu (@thegrapeunwashed)
        22nd July 2017, 12:54

        +1 I should have read the comments first!

      3. Rofl nice one ; D

      4. Now, now, Alsonso ‘knew nothing’

    10. “We are all faster than you.”

    11. We were going to try out the karts today, but Fernando needed all the horsepower he could get, so instead we’re going to run around the track.

      PS: Try not to lap Fernando too much!

      1. I like the Post Scriptum bit ;)

        That’s Sr Alonso in the orange car. Be careful when you overtake him.

    12. If not Honda, my minions will help me conquer de WDC, muahahahah

    13. I brought you here kids to show you whats on the horizon if you drive for McLaren-Honda.

    14. Yeezy918 (@offdutyrockstar)
      22nd July 2017, 12:30

      “Ok Tito, so you’ll compete in the Indy 500 next year. Mario, Le Mans for you. Between us we’ve got this triple crown covered amigos!”

    15. 20 years after retiring, everyone is still surprised that Alonso’s grandchildren are still being forced to serve his McLaren days grid penalties.

        1. Me too lol.

      1. This is brilliant

      2. Yeezy918 (@offdutyrockstar)
        22nd July 2017, 14:13

        This is the winner!

      3. Michael Barry
        22nd July 2017, 16:16

        Brilliant ! Has to be the winner !

      4. This one. Great one. :)

      5. hahaha awesome!!

      6. Hans (@hanswesterbeek)
        22nd July 2017, 21:27

        Winner!

      7. Well played

      8. Game over

      9. Ouch! Hahahahahahahah

      10. This is too good :’D

      11. Bull’s eye

      12. Excellent!

      13. Holy…this !! Superb !

    16. Ballast, you’re doing it wrong!

    17. Adam (@rocketpanda)
      22nd July 2017, 12:45

      Now repeat after me – ‘GP2 ENGINE, GP2’

    18. “And remember the most important lesson:
      “You have to leave a space! YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO LEAVE A SPACE!!!

    19. tgu (@thegrapeunwashed)
      22nd July 2017, 12:50

      “I’ll crash there on lap 14 and bring out the safety car. Whoever pitted first gets to win.”

      Briatore’s henchman schools the next generation.

    20. “OK, my little Fernandos, the race starts in 10 minutes. Don’t push your engines too hard, you’re all driving Hondas, and I want at least one Alonso at the finish line. If having twelve of you doesn’t do the job, then I don’t know what else we can do…”

    21. Fernando is faster than you.

    22. “With this many me’s, I’m bound to make a good career decision eventually.”

    23. “Everything the light touches is our Kingdom,”

      “What’s over there?”

      “Over there is Mclaren Honda. You must never go there,”

      1. Brilliant..

    24. “Once you pass the chequered flag then …
      hang on its been a while …
      it will come back to me …

      I might need to look this up”

      1. Brilliant

    25. So the best way to tackle this corner is to push like an animal.

    26. Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do
      I have a perfect puzzle for you
      Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-dee
      If you are wise, you’ll listen to me

      What do you get when you guzzle down fuel?
      Going as slow as a stubborn mule
      What are you at with engines going blat?
      What do you think will come of that?

      Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-da
      If you’re not speedy, you won’t go far
      You will drive a Honda too
      Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do

    27. And when you’re older, if anyone approaches you from a company called McLaren, run away as quick as you can!

    28. would you rather fight one Alonso sized child or 5 child sized Alonso’s ?

    29. Following a career of bad moves into the wrong cars at the wrong time, Fernando aims to infiltrate every team with a set of clones so that he can pick and choose the best drive at all times.

    30. This is what Vettel saw after doing one lap with the windscreen.

    31. FIA’s new safety protocol starts at a young age. All drivers must wear their helmets while doing the track walk.

      1. Otherwise known as the halo effect

    32. And then after turn nine you get the difficult chicane. But not to worry, you will break down before you get there anyway

    33. McLaren set for further grid penalties having already used their permitted allocation of 4 Alonso Driver Units so far this season.

    34. As Alonso once said “ all the time you must always leave a space”

    35. It’s about 4000 miles past those hills to Indianapolis.

    36. No halos for these little speed demons.

    37. -“I’m the best”
      -“No, I am the best”
      -“No, No, I am the best”

    38. Alonso minions

    39. “CRY MY PRETTIES! CRY!”

    40. “Stop answering back to me, you kids are just a bunch of cheeky ‘nandos.”

    41. “The plan is that one of you won’t break down”

    42. Duncan Snowden
      22nd July 2017, 15:21

      “And when his engine blows up, you all jump out and push.”

    43. “Use the best of your clones, we know how small they are.”

    44. “Alright, you join Minardi then Renault then McLaren-Mercedez then Ferrari. After that come back to karting school for 3 years.”

    45. An instructor shows 2019 prospects how high to pile cash in order to secure their seats.

      1. their seats in F1.

    46. Preparing for Fernando’s possible departure, the Mclaren Alonso cloning project was still in its infancy stages.

    47. You will be using 25 HP karts, with the same engine as the McLaren F1 car.

    48. Let’s see: at 6 tenths each, that makes a total of 3 seconds… Yep! We can stay with Honda!

    49. Despicable Me? Nope minions, your master is Hasegawa over there.

    50. The greatest challenge in motorsport: winning the Monaco GP, the Indy500 and the 24 hours of LeMans… on the same day.

    51. Dark Schneider
      22nd July 2017, 18:27

      Makes me think about Mini Cells in DBZ

    52. Day 742: Alonso still isn’t convinced by his manager’s latest plan to get him out of testing the Mclaren Honda…

    53. steveetienne
      22nd July 2017, 18:31

      ‘he was second, he IS second’

    54. One of these Honda engines is bound to see the end of the race…

    55. McLaren slightly misunderstood Hondas system of bringing as many spare components as possible to each race.

    56. Your engines are being changed, so if you’re lucky you’ll get to race at this track!

    57. “Remember these karts go faster around corners than almost anything else on the track.”

    58. Ah jedi master alonso, we have been expecting you. Would you like to inspect your clone army?

    59. Right guys. I know you are all really excited to race against alonso today but I’m sorry to say we ran out of karts, so alonso is going to use his mclaren-Honda F1 car. Try not to lap him too many times.

    60. Divide the track in 5 of you, because you have always leave the space!

    61. The Guardyan Reports:
      With his army of clones, Alonso intends to seed every team on the grid to ensure victories and championships.

    62. A litter of Alonso – Stig hybrids

    63. In this corner all the time u have to leave the space!

    64. You will be assimilated

    65. Fierce competition inspires innovation in F1 as teams work to find new ways to save weight and money. In one test program, a group of talented Oompa-Loompa drivers, who like to be paid in cocoa beans, receive instruction in following team orders.

    66. Despicable me 4 : Alonso Minions

    67. Alonso clones himself for his best chance at a 3rd world title

    68. No! Of course you can’t pee in the seat!

    69. The karting school organises an interpretive dance of Alonso’s five missed titles

    70. What’s that giant bee papa can’t shake off? That boys, is Robert Kubica.

    71. Derek Edwards
      23rd July 2017, 0:34

      Fernando is over the hill.

    72. An infinite number of Alonsos in an infinite number of race cars will eventually win more titles than Schumacher.

    73. In order the mitigate the effects of the extra weight from the hybrid power unit, future Honda drivers have to be less than 4 feet tall. Honda is not worried about these new drivers getting behind the power curve.

    74. So kids. Behind that mountain there is a bad and scary Honda engine that is waiting just for you. Don’t go there as your grandfather Alonso once did!

    75. Despite spending millions on development, Honda couldn’t work out why their Fernando clones were more fragile and not as powerful as the original.

      1. Pat Ruadh (@fullcoursecaution)
        23rd July 2017, 11:33

        Alonso was said to have been devastated when he heard Massa had fallen in the cloning tank.

    76. The most evil driver on the grid has his own group of Mini-Mes.

    77. Look kids, this is actually a real racing track were drivers used to drive until the FIA decided to ban them because they were unsafe… now, let’s go back to the simulators.

    78. All the drivers interested to fill in for Alonso the next time he goes to Indy are shown around the track.

    79. Alonso to Honda:
      I said I wanted want another 5 million to drive for Honda in 2018, not another 5 Minion.

      .

    80. Alonso plans to win the triple crown all in the same year.

    81. And somewhere over there. Far, far away. There might just be an engine worth putting in Fernando’s car.

    82. PMccarthy_is_a_legend (@pmccarthy_is_a_legend)
      23rd July 2017, 13:19

      Muy bien kids, see that deckchair outside turn three? You know what to do off you go.

    83. After long and extensive testing of its prototype, the FIA is ready to introduce the newest step in driver safety: the replaceable driver.

      1. I want the five of you to pedal like crazy inside the engine cover, and maybe we can get out of the back row.

    84. After Fernando Alonso sponsors Despicable Me 4, the minions looks somewhat different ….

    85. The one who climbs hat hill first will get a meeting with Mr. Briatore . On your marks..

    86. We’re just waiting for the minibus full of mini-Petrovs, and we’ll get going.

    87. Nobody is going on to the track until we find out who stole Lance Stroll’s lunchbox.

      1. Very good!

    88. And once you all are at an age where you can drive F1, Honda might have come up with an engine that actually works.

    89. A rare deleted scene from the movie “Time Bandits”.

    90. Go, my minions…. fly like the wind and bring me that Mercedes contract for 2018…

    91. This is where you will line up for next week’s race in France.

    92. So this is the plan: prices are guaranteed with a full grid of Alonsos.

    93. OK!!! WHO IS PLAYING THE WWE’S HORNSWOGGLE THEME?

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