F1 Fanatic

Country: The Consitutional Monarchy of Fred
Population: one army
Language: Heckling
President: He From Whom The Light Shineth From His Rear, Fernando Alonso
Capital City: Anfay Oysbay
National Anthem: “Fernando is faster than you”
GDP: Criminal

The Consitutional Monarchy of Fred is known as one of the most militant and aggressive nations in the world, populated by a desitute and famine-plagued populace of fanatical religious zealots who believe that their leader is enlightened despite the fact that he continually drives his country into the ground by being heavily implicated in major international disputes, including the Scudferistan-McLarenisia spy ring of 2007, the Hockenheim border skirmishes in 2010 and World War Singapore. The country’s national currency, the Nando, is currently worth 0.6 US dollars.

Country: The Hypothetical State of Ewesseffone
Population: Unknown
Language: Radio silence
President: Member for Bee Ess and Minister of Everything, Ken Anderson
Capital City: Bee Ess
National Anthem: “We made a nosecone!”
GDP: Toasters

The Hypothetical State of Ewesseffone is exactly that: hypothetical. Nobody is entirely sure if it exists, and some claim that it never did. Geographers are hard-placed to locate the country on a map, despite the act that there is evidence the country did exist at some point. The Hypothetical State of Ewesseffone is known as the world’s leading supplier of toasters, and is believed to have built an entire economy based on destroying unwanted pieces of carbon fibre in fetmoseconds.

Country: Teamlotustan
Population: 50 000
Language: Lotusish
King: Tony I of Fernandes
Capital: Airasia
Anthem: Lotus, The Only Lotus
GDP: Not high enough
Declaration of independence (From United States of Lotus): 2011

Teamlotustan was one of the biggest counteries in the world of F1 from the 1960s to the 1980s. Sometimes even bigger than Mclarenia and Scudernia under king Colin I of Chapman. In the 1990s the country was starting to fall apart and in 1994 the country was taken over by the new country Pacificia. Pacificia collapsed one year later and Teamlotustan had disappeared. But in 2009 the State of 1Malaysia was formed, led by Tony I of Fernandes. The state lasted for a few months before they became a territory of United States of Lotus (USL) led by Dani Bahar. In mid-2010 Tony I of Fernandes said that he had bought the rights to the name of Teamlotustan and declared independence in 2011. Teamlotustan was an independent state for the first time since 1993.

Country: The Kleptocracy of Fia
Population: one noisy parrot
Language: aggravating
President: John Todd
Capital City: Paris, despite France’s claim that Paris is their capital
National Anthem: “The Wily Coyote”
GDP: nothing

The Kleptocracy of Fia is a small, noisy and bothersome state with no clear boundaries of its own. Its leaders have all been characterised as intelligent and dedicated men who previously enjoyed life in nearby asylums; Jean-Marie Balestre was known as the man who decided the word “coyote” should be spelt entirely with letters that have no resemblance to the pronunciation of the word; Max Mosley spent time fighting Nazis by painting convincing cartoon tunnels on cliff faces; and current president John Todd is perhaps better-known for his hobby of hunting angry grizzly bears armed only with hummus. The Kleptocracy of Fia is also governed by a closed parliament known as the WMSC (pronounced “wummsk”), which officially popularised the national sport of chasing their tails when they were breifly occupied by a group of daschunds some years ago.