F1

Design your own wacky F1 team

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  • #130579
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    We’ve had a few threads where we’ve said …pick who you’d hire etc but this has a bit of a twist; I want it to be as crazy as possible. Just have fun. If you’re Fixy and want to hire Liuzzi just because you love him then go on or if you want to hire Pastor because he’ll crash into everyone who crosses him then go ahead. I just thought it would be a fun little game during the off season esp. as I’ve fallen out of love with F1 a little bit. So to get us started…

    What would your team be called?

    Who would your biggest rival be?

    What would be your greatest success story?

    What would be your biggest failure?

    What would your team be like personality wise (you know how Mclaren are branded as stale but corporate and Ferrari passionate but arrogant…)

    What would your livery be like?

    Who would be your main sponsor?

    Which big F1 name would be your loyal ally?

    Which big F1 name would be your biggest enemy/rival?

    What sort of circuits would your car do well at?

    What secret weapon or device would your car have?

    Which two drivers would you hire and why?

    Which reserve driver would you have?

    Which would be your favourite driver really?

    Would you use team orders and when? Don’t just think switching positions but using both cars when they’re 1st and 2nd to block the road and stop anyone passing like Top Gear did a few years back.

    And that’s all I can think of for now. Hopefully you’ll all enjoy this thread and hope you’re all having a good festive Xmas season so far :)

    #187087
    Bradley Downton
    Participant

    What would your team be called? Orange Downton-Pagani, (Main Sponsor, Team Name [Named after my surname, like Williams], and Engine Supplier)

    Who would your biggest rival be? Whoever can get near us ;)

    What would be your greatest success story? Front row lockout in our first ever race by over a second, then easy 1-2’s all year with the same level of dominance.

    What would be your biggest failure? Having our drivers collide due to the lack of team orders.

    What would your team be like personality wise (you know how Mclaren are branded as stale but corporate and Ferrari passionate but arrogant…) We would be very accessible to the fan’s, no matter how much or little money they have. We would race for and because of the fan’s, not the money.

    What would your livery be like? Orange and Sky Blue, add some colour to the sport :P.

    Who would be your main sponsor? Orange

    Which big F1 name would be your loyal ally? Adrian Newey – Chief Designer

    Which big F1 name would be your biggest enemy/rival? Whoever’s closest to us again, and their designer.

    What sort of circuits would your car do well at? All of them :P aha, but mainly high downforce.

    What secret weapon or device would your car have? Whatever Newey decides…

    Which two drivers would you hire and why?
    Driver 1: Lewis Hamilton – Great driver and with some calming, and fully focused on F1, he can do great things.
    Driver 2: Bruno Senna – For the Senna name…, and i like him

    Which reserve driver would you have?
    Hmmm, tough one, Gary Paffett. He’s still relatively young to take over and really reliable as a test driver.

    Which would be your favourite driver really?
    Couldn’t choose, honest truth.

    Would you use team orders and when?
    Nope, drivers are to free to race. (But if they crash they’re fired :P )

    #187088
    S.J.M
    Participant

    OOhhhh sounds like fun.

    What would your team be called? – ‘Apple’ Team S.J.M – Mercedes Car chassis’s will be the S001/002 etc

    Who would your biggest rival be? – Everyone in front of us… or behind

    What would be your greatest success story? – Winning a race in a car that was dragged to the finish after loosing its front wheel halfway round the last lap…. and being on fire! (see the British GP in the film “Grand Prix”)

    What would be your biggest failure? – When my 2 drivers crashed into each other when on the final race of the season, loosing us the WCC. Bastards.

    What would your team be like personality wise – The fun factor of Redbull pre-2008, the plucky nature of Minardi and “everyones second fav team” of Sauber.

    What would your livery be like? Black, with flames from the front wing painted on going up to halfway of the sidepods.

    Who would be your main sponsor? Anyone who wants to pay me silly.com money and NOT change the livery colours. Apple have requested principle sponsorship.

    Which big F1 name would be your loyal ally? – Bernie. He loves me, even though i secretly dont like him.

    Which big F1 name would be your biggest enemy/rival? Ferrari are the main ones. Red Bull, Mclaren as they’re currently big teams.

    What sort of circuits would your car do well at? anything thats a “Red Bull” Track.

    What secret weapon or device would your car have? “The Flux decapitor”, Once our car hits 88mph…… I’d explain what it does but you know, its a secret.

    Which two drivers would you hire and why? – Button and Alonso

    Which reserve driver would you have? Robert Wickens

    Which would be your favourite driver really? Button.

    Home Race – Silverstone / British GP.

    I added the home race, I think most teams like to have one.

    #187089
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Satsuma!

    Who would your biggest rival be? – probably HRT. I don’t actually have any experience at this team leading stuff.

    What would be your greatest success story? – we would have better crowd support than any other team (except Ferrari in Italy and Spain). We would do this by giving out free caps and t-shirts at every grand prix, and generally being happy and cherry folks. Oh, and being completely crazy :D

    What would be your biggest failure? – points. We probably wouldn’t win very many.

    What would your team be like personality wise weird, but… actually no, just weird.

    What would your livery be like? Orange! We’d only have two sponsors: the ‘phone company, and a local market stall which sells fresh fruit each week in Southampton.

    Who would be your main sponsor? – I’ve already answered that one. TRY to keep up ;)

    Which big F1 name would be your loyal ally? – Eddie Jordan, he’d love us. And Red Bull, we’d look after some of their young drivers (God knows they’ve got enough).

    Which big F1 name would be your biggest enemy/rival? – Luca Montezemolo. “Why can’t they take things *seriously?!*”

    What sort of circuits would your car do well at? – Good question. We hope to find one before the end of the season. (I’d probably set it up for lots of downforce and great cornering ability. Racing happens at corners; straights are just the bits in between.)

    What secret weapon or device would your car have? – Another good question! This is, of course, secret. But I’m sure we’ve got one.

    Which two drivers would you hire and why? – I believe I mentioned Red Bull’s young driver program. Vergne, and Ricciardo.

    Which reserve driver would you have? – The Mighty Quinn! No, not that one. Niall. We hired him because we liked his name… I don’t think he’s very happy about that.

    Which would be your favourite driver really? – Jenson Button. We grew up in the same area. (I’d tell my drivers to let him by and hold up his rivals.)

    Would you use team orders and when? Don’t just think switching positions but using both cars when they’re 1st and 2nd to block the road and stop anyone passing like Top Gear did a few years back. – F1 is a team sport. My drivers would be expected to recognise this and voluntarily let their team-mate past if their car had a problem. Alternatively, if they found themselves running next to each other, one might hold up the pack while the other accelerated away into the distance.

    But if the two drivers were evenly-matched on the track, and neither of them was competing for the championship – well then, I’d expect a good old-fashioned battle, and the winner can share his champagne with the team.

    And that’s all I can think of for now. Hopefully you’ll all enjoy this thread and hope you’re all having a good festive Xmas season so far :)

    Happy Christmas :)

    #187090
    TrueF1Grit
    Member

    What would your team be called?

    McDonald’s Burger King Happy Meal Racing.

    Who would your biggest rival be?

    Ourselves

    What would be your greatest success story?

    Actually making it on some kind of list.

    What would be your biggest failure?

    Missing our flight for the first race of the season because we were having a McDonald’s.

    What would your team be like personality wise (you know how Mclaren are branded as stale but corporate and Ferrari passionate but arrogant…)

    Friendly, y’know i’m loving it.

    What would your livery be like?

    Red, with a big yellow M. Some kind of burgery colours somewhere too.

    Who would be your main sponsor?

    Well, if it isn’t already obvious…

    Which big F1 name would be your loyal ally?

    Flavio, he knows how to run a team properly

    Which big F1 name would be your biggest enemy/rival?

    Stefano, because we stole his glasses and sold them back to him for a £5.

    What sort of circuits would your car do well at?

    Any circuit that doesn’t have corners, or require the car to do anything. Do museums count as circuits?

    What secret weapon or device would your car have?

    Spikes that shoot out of the back, although we haven’t had anyone behind us to use them yet.

    Which two drivers would you hire and why?

    Scott Speed and [Enter Pay Driver Here] as they pay.

    Which reserve driver would you have?

    Now, the real question is, which reserve driver pays the most?

    Which would be your favourite driver really?

    Money speaks a lot louder nowadays…

    Would you use team orders and when? Don’t just think switching positions but using both cars when they’re 1st and 2nd to block the road and stop anyone passing like Top Gear did a few years back.

    When we make it past the first corner, i’ll tell you… [big if]

    #187091
    Kingshark
    Participant

    What would your team be called?
    Super Nova Hot Racing Team.

    Who would your biggest rival be?
    Ferrari.

    What would be your greatest success story?
    Dominating the championship after the rule change 2014.

    What would be your biggest failure?
    Drivers crashing from a 1-2 because we didn’t use teamorders.

    What would your team be like personality wise?
    Proud, a bit cocky and over confident.

    What would your livery be like?
    Blue with some white.

    Who would be your main sponsor?
    Playstatian

    Which big F1 name would be your loyal ally?
    Charlie Wright

    Which big F1 name would be your biggest enemy/rival?
    Max Mosley.

    What sort of circuits would your car do well at?
    Monaco, Singapore, ect…

    What secret weapon or device would your car have?
    Super sized highly efficient brakes.

    Which two drivers would you hire and why?
    Sebastian Vettel and Nico Rosberg.

    Which reserve driver would you have?
    Pedro De La Rosa (experience)

    Which would be your favourite driver really?
    Both get equal treatment, but Rosberg is secretly slightly favored because I like him more.

    Would you use team orders and when?
    Only in the final 10 laps when both of our cars are in podium scoring positions.

    #187092
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Add away :) I’ll actually answer now as I always forget :P

    What would your team be called? – Sirius for the dog star not after the Harry Potter character and because I want a cuddly dog as the logo but each chassis name would have a name from a good book to give a bit of personality.

    Who would your biggest rival be? – Bernie. Not smart but I want to take over the world and seeing as he is the man in charge of the world pretty much…

    What would be your greatest success story? – We’d win of course in epic fashion but that wouldn’t be the success story. We’d all nearly die when our hotel was burnt down by a rival but then come back and 1-2 it.

    What would be your biggest failure? – Ousting Bernie only to celebrate so much that I didn’t realise Dennis had taken control of F1.

    What would your team be like personality wise – charming, integral but with raw emotion.

    What would your livery be like? For the first race it would be red just to see how Ferrari would react and then (unless they left in a strop) it would be azure with then maybe buckets of random paint colours chucked over it as blue tends to be boring or just purple. I’m undecided.

    Who would be your main sponsor? Haribo butm we’d run the Amnesty logo too to raise awareness.

    Which big F1 name would be your loyal ally? – Stefano. After our little misunderstanding with the livery we’d team up to take on everyone else.

    Which big F1 name would be your biggest enemy/rival? I’m tempted to say Mclaren as I’m so used to being a Ferrari fan but I’d say Red Bull or Lotus.

    What sort of circuits would your car do well at? Monaco in particular which we’ll win every year and break Senna’s record. We’d somehow drag some performance out of the car at Brazil too but we’d aim for high speed circuits next.

    What secret weapon or device would your car have? A special DRS device-when the DRS opens a load of grenades fall out and scatter behind.

    Which two drivers would you hire and why? – Massa and Alonso just because I like them and one is the best.

    Which reserve driver would you have? I like Paul but I’ll go with Seb as he’s funny. Yeah, I’m sticking Seb as a reserve instead of Massa.

    Which would be your favourite driver really? Massa. Alonso doesn’t need my help.

    Home Race – Silverstone / British GP.

    Would you use team orders and when? Of course but not to switch positions but to tell them to hold up everyone so the team mate further back could take short cuts when the cameras weren’t looking

    #187093
    JustAnF1Fanatic
    Participant

    What would your team be called? – Jaguar F1 (best car i ever had was a Jag and i think they need some success)

    Who would your biggest rival be? – Red Bull since i see them being at the top for many years

    What would be your greatest success story? – Getting a 1-2 from 23-24 on the grid with a mix of perfect strategy and an epic drive

    What would be your biggest failure? – Over confidence

    What would your team be like personality wise? – Fun, the party team to new heights

    What would your livery be like? – British Racing Green, big silver jaguar on the side

    Who would be your main sponsor? – Jaguar

    Which big F1 name would be your loyal ally? – Newey obv

    Which big F1 name would be your biggest enemy/rival? – Red Bull and McLaren

    What sort of circuits would your car do well at? – the classics, Spa, Monza, Imola (recently added to the calender) Suzuka etc

    What secret weapon or device would your car have? – Insane speed

    Which two drivers would you hire and why? Vettel – for being impossible to dislike, and Hamilton, together they fight against Alonso and Vergne at Red Bull, Vettel has given Lewis some if his fun and consistancy, Lewis has given some aggressiveness to Vettel, perfect.

    Which reserve driver would you have? – Paffet

    Which would be your favourite driver really? – Lewis

    Would you use team orders and when? Don’t just think switching positions but using both cars when they’re 1st and 2nd to block the road and stop anyone passing like Top Gear did a few years back. – No, both drivers have respect for each other and get along, so no need they just battle it out on track

    Home race? – Silverstone

    #187094
    Oli Peacock
    Participant

    What would your team be called? Scuderia Racing

    Who would your biggest rival be? Ferrari

    What would be your greatest success story? A heart warming ‘Brawn-like’ opening race.

    What would be your biggest failure? Signing @bradley13 :D

    What would your team be like personality wise (you know how Mclaren are branded as stale but corporate and Ferrari passionate but arrogant…): The public-openess of Caterham, but the tech know-how, the twisting of rules and the urge to win of Red Bull

    What would your livery be like? Red, Green and flashes of silver

    Who would be your main sponsor? Playstation

    Which big F1 name would be your loyal ally? Bernie

    Which big F1 name would be your biggest enemy/rival? Ferrari and personally Luca de Montazemelo

    What sort of circuits would your car do well at? Monza, Spa, Spain

    What secret weapon or device would your car have? a Secret ability to refill through the wheel gun

    Which two drivers would you hire and why? Heikki and Lewis

    Which reserve driver would you have?

    Robert Kubica

    Which would be your favourite driver really?

    Lewis

    #187095
    JPQuesado
    Participant

    What would your team be called? QScrew ItGP

    Who would your biggest rival be? Vodka and lasagna, perhaps a team

    What would be your greatest success story? Winning both championships after having 50 crashes throughout the season

    What would be your biggest failure? Running out of carbon fibre in the factory 5 times during the first 2 seasons due to traffic jams

    What would your team be like personality wise (you know how Mclaren are branded as stale but corporate and Ferrari passionate but arrogant…)? We would open our motorhome to everyone, offer tickets to the fans that coudn’t afford them, and create the Screw The Richest Foundation, to take money from the richest of the world

    What would your livery be like? Mostly yellow, with some red, dark green and blue parts

    Who would be your main sponsor? IMF (yes, the International Monetary Fund. That would bring me a lot of money)

    Which big F1 name would be your loyal ally? Charlie Whiting (some cheating involved)

    Which big F1 name would be your biggest enemy/rival? Flavio Briatore

    What sort of circuits would your car do well at? Circuits with a lot of fast corners. It would have so much rear downforce that we could even get rid of the rear wing at Monza.

    What secret weapon or device would your car have? A paintball gun at the back, knives on both front wing endplates, blades on the wheels, a bowling ball firing machine at the airbox, etc.

    Which two drivers would you hire and why? Sebastian Vettel (obvious reasons) and Fernando Alonso (because he can take the car to the podium even if it is crappy)

    Which reserve driver would you have? If I may, I’ll have three: Jenson Button, Lewis Hamilton and Robert Kubica

    Which would be your favourite driver really? Sebastian Vettel

    Would you use team orders and when? I would use team orders to get the other cars out of the race. Like crashing into others (that’s why Charlie Whiting would be my ally) just as in video games when a race gets boring, making others crash like starting a race at the back only to push a car into other and cause a pile-up, spoiling pit stops by cutting the cables (with crashing cars) that connect the air guns to the air bottles, etc.

    #187096
    Powderfinger
    Participant

    What would your team be called?

    Newman UBS Racing

    Who would your biggest rival be?

    Ferrari

    What would be your greatest success story?

    Pole, Win, Fastest Lap and leading every lap of the season

    What would be your biggest failure?

    A failure on the car of one of my drivers

    What would your team be like personality wise (you know how Mclaren are branded as stale but corporate and Ferrari passionate but arrogant…)

    Similar to McLaren

    What would your livery be like?

    Main colour navy blue, secondary coulour white

    Who would be your main sponsor?

    UBS

    Which big F1 name would be your loyal ally?

    Rory Byrne

    Which big F1 name would be your biggest enemy/rival?

    Adrian Newey

    What sort of circuits would your car do well at?

    Spa, Monaco and Monza

    What secret weapon or device would your car have?

    Can’t say it’s a secret :-)

    Which two drivers would you hire and why?

    Fernando Alonso (smart, calm, fast, experienced, always gets the best out of the car)

    Daniel Ricciardo

    Which reserve driver would you have?

    Paul di Resta

    Which would be your favourite driver really? Both, really.

    Would you use team orders and when?

    Yes. Only if one of my drivers does not have a chance of winning the championship.

    Home Race?

    Monaco

    #187097
    Mads
    Participant

    What would your team be called?
    Original idea: Angels of Death – Racing
    Until IKEA paid us a fiver and then it turned into: IKEA-GP

    Who would your biggest rival be?
    Hopefully HRT, but most likely the safety car and the barriers.

    What would be your greatest success story?
    Making it to the grid for our second race, with the biggest hangover ever after the saturday pre-race celebrations, which we just invented.

    What would be your biggest failure?
    Bringing the car to Jerez for our first test (which would be the last test day for anyone else), and then find out that we mixed up the dates, and all the others are lining up on the grid in Melbourne for the first race of the season.

    What would your team be like personality wise (you know how Mclaren are branded as stale but corporate and Ferrari passionate but arrogant…)
    Probably just very forgetful but charming in our own way. And always spying on the others, just to make it look like we know what we are doing, bringing a lot of cool looking laptops with us just to play bubble-shooter all day because we don’t know how to open the telemetry data. Never mind analysing it..

    What would your livery be like?
    Carbon black with shark-like teeth painted on the front wing. Was our original idea, until IKEA wanted us all yellow and blue..

    Who would be your main sponsor?
    IKEA and probably some pizzaria just down the road getting their name on the side if they deliver lunch for our design team.

    Which big F1 name would be your loyal ally?
    DC because he, as the only guy in F1, pretends to laugh with us, and not at us.

    Which big F1 name would be your biggest enemy/rival?
    Collin Colles for being an enormous p****, and being quicker then us..

    What sort of circuits would your car do well at?
    The pitlane! Just as quick as a Red Bull! Well if he exclude the actual pitstop that is..

    What secret weapon or device would your car have?
    Having a monkey throw bananas at the competitors.

    Which two drivers would you hire and why?
    Me, as I have loads of F1 experience from racing on my PS3, and surely that will make me qualify as a F1 driver. Might also have something to do with a tight budget, and no room for a driver we could actually pay.
    Eddie Jordan! Because he has loads of potential as a grand prix driver, and because, by contract, he is allowed to act like a baboon publicly. Which was how we convinced him to try to have a go as a grand prix driver.
    But as I spend too much time getting lost in roundabouts and mixing up left and right, Eddie will be the only driver we race for most of the time.

    Which reserve driver would you have?
    Who ever wanted to work for free of cause. Probably my grandmother, she don’t do much in the weekends anyway, and as a reserve driver for IKEA-Racing we promise loads of spare time at the race tracks to do patchwork. Martin Brundle would probably like some tips on that anyway.

    Which would be your favourite driver really?
    Possibly our lorry driver. Which is also me probably.
    Who needs to pay for a guy to do that anyway?

    Would you use team orders and when?
    Who needs two cars on the track on the same time anyway?
    That is just a waste of fuel. Sometimes people need to think a little more about others. The polar bears will probably get hot and sunburned if we keep wasting fuel like that.
    A tight budget might also have something to with it, but that is a secret.

    #187098
    Ell
    Participant

    What would your team be called? Ellis-Mclaren-Renault-Mercedes. Ellis is my 1st name, Mclaren team, RBR chassis, Mercedes engine.

    Who would your biggest rival be? Ferrari or Red Bull.

    What would be your greatest success story? Starting the season at the back of the grid and winning the last 2 races of the year.

    What would be your biggest failure? Losing the championship in Brazil.

    What would your team be like personality wise (you know how Mclaren are branded as stale but corporate and Ferrari passionate but arrogant…) Quite gentle and passionate, but hard working.

    What would your livery be like? Mclaren’s, Ferrari’s and Lotus’.

    Who would be your main sponsor? Etihad Airways, after man City’s sponsor.

    Which big F1 name would be your loyal ally? Bernie Ecclestone

    Which big F1 name would be your biggest enemy/rival? Stefano Domenicali

    What sort of circuits would your car do well at? Everyone.

    What secret weapon or device would your car have? A warp device to move us around where we want to be.

    Which two drivers would you hire and why? Lewis Hamilton, the speed and talent, and Jenson Button, fast and so experienced.

    Which reserve driver would you have? Pedro de la Rosa

    Which would be your favourite driver really? Lewis Hamilont

    Would you use team orders and when? Never, because we won’t need them.

    #187099

    What would your team be called?
    Ingram-Skoda F1 Engineering

    Who would your biggest rival be?
    Virgin

    What would be your greatest success story?
    Sensationally signing Juan Pablo Montoya

    What would be your biggest failure?
    Juan Pablo sensationally quitting the team when he was hit on the head. However he sensationally returns in 2 races time.

    What would your team be like personality wise (you know how Mclaren are branded as stale but corporate and Ferrari passionate but arrogant…)
    Lovable underdog

    What would your livery be like?
    Green with purple

    Who would be your main sponsor?
    We wouldn’t have one, I fund the team

    Which big F1 name would be your loyal ally?
    Bernie

    Which big F1 name would be your biggest enemy/rival?
    Horner – because our car broke down in front of Vettel and it caused Webber to win

    What sort of circuits would your car do well at?
    None

    What secret weapon or device would your car have?
    The ability to retire at least 1 car a race

    Which two drivers would you hire and why?
    Juan Pablo Montoya – All my earnings go to him
    Whoever wants it

    Which reserve driver would you have?
    Can’t afford

    Which would be your favourite driver really?
    Juan Pablo

    Would you use team orders and when? Don’t just think switching positions but using both cars when they’re 1st and 2nd to block the road and stop anyone passing like Top Gear did a few years back.

    If both cars were close to finishing I’d tell them to try to crash

    #187100
    Ratboy
    Keymaster

    What would your team be called? ReallyLegalMotorTeamLada

    Who would your biggest rival be? HRT

    What would be your greatest success story? Winning at Monza despite only having 3 wheels for the race having started the weekend at Spa after a Sat-Nav failure

    What would be your biggest failure? taking each other off on the final lap at the final corner at Silvestone. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6so8be16mL4 much like this (lol)

    What would your team be like personality wise (you know how Mclaren are branded as stale but corporate and Ferrari passionate but arrogant…) Really legal but quite cheaty

    What would your livery be like? Luminious Green and Yellow, like Brawn but much much more garish

    Who would be your main sponsor? Hopefully these guys are still in existence http://f1-facts.com/overview/product/2443

    Which big F1 name would be your loyal ally? Nico Rosberg but his contracrt would state a ‘tache much like his fathers

    Which big F1 name would be your biggest enemy/rival? Bernie Ecclestone after our infamous short gag on the cars in Australia (we are shorter on money than Bernie is on height)

    What sort of circuits would your car do well at? Jerez in testing by 3seconds but worse at every other by 2 seconds

    What secret weapon or device would your car have? Nos, so much that the blurry TV effects with flames actually happen at track side

    Which two drivers would you hire and why? Nico Rosberg and Claudio Langes, he has potential that only we have seen

    Which reserve driver would you have? Andrea de Cesaris

    Which would be your favourite driver really? Gerhard Berger, no-nonsense talking. Jacques Lafitte could be handy too

    Would you use team orders and when? Don’t just think switching positions but using both cars when they’re 1st and 2nd to block the road and stop anyone passing like Top Gear did a few years back. after a spin pitting Claudio then deploying him between Nico in 1st and 2nd place, slowing the field down before stopping broadside in one of the many chicanes at a Tilke track

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