F1 Fanatic - F1
At a posh hotel in Canada.
(man walks in to his room)
Bernie: Ah, Gary, how is my trusty F1 advisor today?
Gary: Very well, MR Ecclestone
Bernie: Good… so then, whats the latest report say about F1 then?
Gary: er well, MR Ecclestone, fans are leaving in droves because overtaking is now to easy and because no driver in the fastest motor racing sport in the world wants to go “quick” or something because they have to preserve their awful tyres. Oh and there are to little teams (oh, by the way, you did make sure to tell the slowest team that they aren’t getting any money this year?) and too many pay drivers.
Bernie: Gary… I meant my wealth!
Gary: Oh, sorry Sir, yes… its increasing!
Bernie: Ah *smiles* very good Gary.
Gary: thanks Mr.Ecclestone
Bernie: So, i’ll see you at the GP this weekend when we check out the unessacery DRS zone?
Gary: Yes, bye
This week on CONSPIRACYWATCH 4/20:
Mr. E: “What can we do to piss off people on F1 forums the most?
Mr. T: “I do not know, mon ami. Perhaps we do 3 DRS zones and start some rumors about the Canadian GP going off the calendar?”
Mr. E: “What about Mercedes?”
Mr. T: “What about them?”
Mr. E: “Aren’t you going to punish them?”
Mr. T: “Of course not, me and Mr. B are friends and we need Daimler in F1. Mr. H and his rubber company can buzz off, though.”
Later that day:
Mr. B: “We expect this weekend will go better than the last/last year. We hope to be on the tyres/not have any mechanical failures. We are sure Nico/Lewis can get a good result for the team. We also totally not had any advantage by helping out P.”
Mr. H: “We’re expecting 16 pitstops in the race and have designed the tyres in such a way people will throw their remotes at the telly at lap 13. We hope people will understand we don’t care about the fans or the FIA and simply want to throw away our reputation. We also totally designed these tyres to help out Ferrari on Mr. T’s request, because look at all the rigging in favor of Ferrari since he became the FIA president. It’s like no other team had a shot at the title.”
Mr. S: “Guten tag, Sie sprechen mit Michael.”
Mr. B: “Hello Michael. We need your help to cheat to this weekend’s win.”
Mr. S: “Verdammt noch mal, Ross. I told you, I’m not like that anymore. I feel bad enough about telling you to do that test.”
Mr. B: “Are you sure, Michael? I might leak some info on the 1994 TC if you don’t help.”
Mr. S: “I should have signed for McLaren in 1995…”
Mr. V: “Hahaha, yeah, come on, that’s what I’m talking about!”
Mr. M: “Was ist, Seb?”
Mr. V: “Woohoo, yes, yes, yes! Obviously, basically the team did a great job.”
Mr. M: “Seb, warum rufen Sie mich an?”
Mr. V: “Multi 12 this weekend, Mark!”
Mr. M: “Seb, I will talk to Mark, stop partying with Kimi and calling people up drunk.”
Mr. V: “Do something, guys! Why do I have the penalty? Obviously basically yeah possibly.”
Next week on CONSPIRACYWATCH 4/20:
Will Damon Hill sport a different beard for the British GP? Will Bernie start rumors about dropping the race off the calendar again? Will McLaren steal intel from Ferrari? Tune in next week.
@ Nick lol
At the Red Bull garage in Milton Keynes…
Adrian: Hi Mark…
Adrian: I’ve just finished the 2014 car!
Mark: Hey Adrian, the panels on the car look like all the broken parts of cars you’ve recently crashed…
Adrian: don’t be silly Mark. I’m really proud of this car, with all the illegal comp… er, I mean my expertise, it should be a winner.
Mark: say what?, you been talking to Mercedes and Ferrari again?
Adrian: er, anyway the car. Its got all the toys, great DRS, excellent KERS system, outstanding aero, and your car is 20 bhp slower than sebs, new steer…
Mark: hang on , my cars 20 bhp slower???
(Christian Horner walks in while reading newspaper)
Christian: Don’t complain Mark… (walks off)
Mark: Is this another attempt to make Seb WC again?
Adrian: Look Mark, we told Seb to go slower in 2010… and you still managed to lose!. Anyway, we’ll get into trouble if Seb finds out we’ve fitted the “detach wheel” weapon we fitted in China… so stop complaining!
Mark: (mumbles, while walking off), I turned down a Porsche LM drive for this!…
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