F1 Poetry (64 posts)

  • Profile picture of Tom L. Tom L. said 2 years, 1 month ago:

    “But I’m afraid no amount of money you can muster,
    Will make a word rhyme with your second name!”

    I took this as a challenge…

    It is hard, being P. Maldonado;
    Dismissed as a rich desperado.
    A career well-oiled:
    A reputation spoiled?
    He’ll rebuild it with skill and bravado!

  • Profile picture of Ned Flanders Ned Flanders said 2 years, 1 month ago:

    Haha good effort Tom!

  • Profile picture of wigster wigster said 2 years, 1 month ago:

    Heres my effort: An ode to this years Aussie Grand Prix

    The season, it started in Melbourne
    Where it was sunny and Warm
    It was meant to start in Bahrain
    But bullets were flying
    So the cars weren’t.

    So here we were, new things galore
    A new flippy flappy wing
    To help overtaking and change who would win
    But misuse it and you’d end up in a spin!
    Back too was KERS;
    All meant to end the overtaking curse

    Next came the tyres
    Pirreli really did try
    To create lots of pit stops in the dry.
    All these things to improve the show?
    Soon we would know.

    So at last along came the race
    Just who would have the pace?
    The lights went green, and the drivers got mean

    Vettel went around and around
    With his wing, which touches the ground.
    He went so fast,
    The Mclaren couldn’t get past.
    Hamiltons floor, it needed more glue
    To keep it attached to his car!

    The others they tried,
    With DRS, KERS and new tyres
    But in the end things stayed the same
    The bull still finished first
    Hamilton dragged home second
    A Russian third – that was different!

    Webber, Massa and Button with work still to do
    Sauber, a new rear wing they must make
    Mercedes need a new wing too, a front one though.

    HRT, Who R They?
    Turned up late by one day
    So from the race, they were turned away.

    So for Malaysia we wait,
    Where surely it will rain!

  • Profile picture of Ned Flanders Ned Flanders said 2 years, 1 month ago:

    I dare someone to write an F1 rap, film themselves performing it, and upload the video to YouTube for us all to see it! Here’s one of the top of my head (it’s hard without using offensive words!)

    Ham dawg cruising in top gear
    Holla’in at his peeps over the radio
    Just couldn’t catch the Vetster up the highway
    JB had the feds on his back
    They were really crampin’ his style
    Ruby put a cap in Nico’s ass
    Homie lost all respect man
    Cats in the crowd gave Vitty P big upz
    Kept that shady cat Alonso back

    And so on…

  • Profile picture of Trent Trent said 2 years, 1 month ago:

    Can we get a Robert Kubica one? :)

  • Profile picture of Felipe Bomeny Felipe Bomeny said 2 years, 1 month ago:

    Pay Drivers

    Pedro Diniz brought with him Albilio Diniz’s cash
    Not to mention an overwhelming tendency to crash

    Yuji Ide’s career was nothing short of a silly joke
    A joke so funny in fact his license was revoked

    Esteban Tuero was spoiled and was a rich little child
    His driving skills were rubbish, reckless, and very wild

    Ricardo Rosset always had good financing just to race
    The problem was that he was twelve seconds off the pace

    Alonso’s teammate Alex Yoong was Malaysia’s pride
    Money was the only reason Minardi gave him a ride

    Taki Inoue was once brutally rammed by the pace car
    But his lack of talent was this racer’s deepest scar

    Japanese pay driver Nakano was as rubbish as countryman Takagi
    And who could forget the slow but wealthy Italian Giovanni Lavaggi

    Bertand Gachot was a Belgian but he was also from France
    And Euros were why F1 gave Jean-Denis Deletraz a chance

  • Profile picture of Fixy Fixy said 2 years, 1 month ago:

    Brazil 2008

    Poor Felipe had no hopes left
    Until Vettel made Lewis a theft
    The sixth place he obtained
    But Glock struggled as it rained
    And Lewis was back in 5th.

    (I couldn’t think of a word rhyming with -eft)

  • Profile picture of RandomChimp RandomChimp said 2 years, 1 month ago:

    Came to me as I was voting for best driver of the Malaysian GP but tweaked a bit from the original:

    Quick-Nick-Limerick

    His results in Australia, they stang
    And the haters all came out and sang.
    They said he was finished,
    His quickness diminished
    But he came back for third in Sepang.

  • Profile picture of Deleted User said 2 years, 1 month ago:

    Randomchimp that was brilliant.

  • Profile picture of Calum Calum said 2 years, 1 month ago:

    In response to Massa beating Alonso:

    What a to do!
    Ferrari has a new Number 2,
    The Brazillians they cheer,
    As they heard loud and clear,
    Fernando, Massa is faster than you!

  • Profile picture of Fixy Fixy said 2 years, 1 month ago:

    @Calum – I was touched with joy in reading that :’D

  • Profile picture of RandomChimp RandomChimp said 2 years, 1 month ago:

    This is something like one I did for the Heidfeld appreciation thread on the old forum in 2009 (I didn’t save a copy myself):

    Though ‘Quick Nick’ was the name that they gave him,
    His great speed did not lead to high rating.
    So when time was for Nick
    By a team to be picked
    The team principles, so sadly, looked past him.

  • Profile picture of Ned Flanders Ned Flanders said 2 years, 1 month ago:

    Oh, I forgot about the Heidfeld fan club! So much good stuff was lost when the old forum went down. I too wrote a poem about Heidfeld for that thread, which I had completely forgotten about until now. However, luckily for me I had emailed it to F1 Rejects in an (unsuccesful) attempt to get it on the podcast, so a quick check of my email sentbox and voila, here it is!

    An ode to Quick Nick:

    With Prost young Nick moved into F1
    But the car was so bad it went horribly wrong
    Next Sauber where Nick was a revelation
    Scoring regular points across multiple nations

    He headed for Jordan, his career sadly stagnant
    But his luck was as bad as a misfortune magnet
    An offer from Williams gave Heidfeld a lifeline
    And his form that year showed Nick to be sublime

    Nick defected to Beamer the following season
    He managed 8 rostrums, no wins for some reason
    Now Mercedes seems to be Nick’s team of choice
    And assuming he wins us fans will rejoice

    (Bear in mind it’s effectively a late 2009 time capsule, it needs updating to catalogue his departure from Mercedes, return to Sauber and subsequent role at Renault)

  • Profile picture of RandomChimp RandomChimp said 2 years, 1 month ago:

    A marginally less supportive limerick :P

    Quick-Nick-Limerick 3

    So Nick, why haven’t you won?
    That much losing just cannot be fun.
    Why don’t you give up
    The dream of that cup,
    And admit your career is done.

  • Profile picture of RandomChimp RandomChimp said 2 years, 1 month ago:

    Please note I’m just exaggerating what I see as commonly held opinions about these two to make something that I hope is funny:

    Lewis vs. Jenson

    Now Hamilton’s unbeatably fast,
    And by Button could never be passed.
    But Jenson is speedier
    In chats with the media
    While Lewis just falls on his a***.

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