Once in a while I like playing devil’s advocate, so amid the celebrations I started to think about reasons that could still prevent Vettel from actually being declared a champion. We know that him dying would not do the trick and a giant asteroid or a nuclear war do not count (too easy). So far I hit on four possibilities, obviously all extremely unlikely.
1) Some cheating surfaces, Vettel is disqualified.
2) Vettel is banished from F1 after doing something unspeakable, like running over little girls in a park with his car doing wroom wroom noises.
3) The Red Bull Team withdraws from F1 (alien abduction of the minds of its management? a hypnotist hired by rival teams?)
4) Alonso is awarded extra 200 points for driving “above and beyond the call of duty” by FIA.
Any other ideas to pass time while the season runs it course :-)?
The only thing that isn’t completely far-fetched is basically what happened to Tyrrell in 1984: disqualification after a technical infringement. But yeah, let’s face it, Vettel’s got this one.
5) Vettel drives so fast in the next race, he breaks the time-space continuum, and crashes into himself from the previous 16 races :)
6) Bernie Ecclestone discovers oil in the Antarctic, immediately adds 5 extra Grand Prix to the 2013 calendar – the native penguins funding the races. Alonso wins all remaining races due to him “finding a second with the help of the fans”. Vettel crashes in all remaining races, as it turns out he has an irrational fear of Sir Ranulph Fiennes.
7) Adrian Newey makes a huge breakthrough in exhaust/diffuser/floor technology, enabling the Red Bull to travel at speeds through corners unbeknown to Human kind. The tyres, being of fragile structure explode entering a high speed corner, at the same time creating a ripple effect, which creates a wormhole. Button, whom was just behind Vettel is unable to stop in time and travels through the wormhole, going back to the moment in 2012 where McLaren decided it was a good idea to be ‘revolutionary’. Instead, the design team focus their efforts on perfecting the 2012 car for 2013. Thus, the 2013 season starts again, only with McLaren in the mix for wins as well, starting the season with the best car. Yes, they may make mistakes, and thinking about it…Vettel would probably still win.
8) The energy of all the rage directed at Vettel builds up to such a point, the universe starts to fall apart, losing its sense of chronology and thus ending in 1921, long before F1 even started.
9) Vettel breaks his finger. It transpires that it was the source of all his power here on Earth, and it’s destruction both returns Vettel to his own realm and undoes all he has achieved.
10) Maybe possible! Ferrari lawyers find holes in the contracts of Grand Prix organizers and sue them all ending in almost all GP’s, incl. Vettel’s wins to be retroactively scrapped from the 2013 calender. The final standings are arrived at by adding up the points from the Chinese and Spanish races.
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