F1 Fanatic

Right, i did a similar article last year about the 2011 championship.

http://www.f1fanatic.co.uk/groups/f1/forum/topic/sour-grapes-vettels-luck-in-2011/

please note this thread is not intended to be serious. (well kind of…). Anyway lets start:

AUS: Timing of the safety car gifts Vettel 2nd place from Hamilton.

MAL: some poor awareness gets him a puncture but he was only fighting for the lower reaches of the points anyway…
CHN: meh…

BAH: comes under attack from a rather race-rusty Raikonnen. During Kimi’s best chance to overtake vettel, he not only shys away from sending one down the inside, but he also does a rather poor job on undercutting vettel and getting a good run into turn 4. (this is really clutching at straws here! sorry)
ESP: meh…

MON: some poor communication from mclaren drops Hamilton behind Vettel after the pitstops.
CAN-HUN: meh…

BEL: both Hamilton and Alonso taken out in first lap pile up. Red Bull seem to stick to a 1 stopper perhaps due to their poor top speed. 1 stops actually turn out to be the best strategy. Vettel seals an important 2nd 12 secs ahead of 3rd placed Kimi.
ITA: meh…

SING: ok now things get silly. Hamilton, (in contention for the title) retires from the lead gifting Vettel and easy win. (Good luck for Vettel combined with bad luck for a championship rival= SUPER LUCK!!!)

JAP: Alonso gets slightest touch from Kimi at the start. The ferrari slides across gravel ruining it’s rear tyre. DNF.

KOR: once again Webber is useless off the line from pole. He cant even get vettel back down the following long straights. BUT WAIT! webber is pushing hard after this setback and is within 1 second, OH I SEE… yellow flags down the only passing zone on the track mean DRS is disabled for quite a few laps as the marshals struggled to remove rosbergs car.Webber’s charge is halted.
Hamilton (a more deadly rival to vettel’s title defence) suffers a roll bar issue and finishes 10th and is now out of the chmpionship fight.

IND: a KERS malfunction occurs on a red bull car! but which one?! webber’s of course…

ABU: Vettel only take minor damage after colliding with senna. When Vettel hits the DRS bollard whilst following the safety car, the damage forces him to pit for a new wing. this inadvertently puts him on a killer 2 stop strategy. he has time to catch the pack up before the restart, with new options tyres and much slower cars between him and the points. After running as high as 2nd, he fits another set of options and rejoins ahead of a train of slower cars that are holding up his team mate. Another safety car lets him catch up to the leaders effortlessly. with his car setup perfectly, he eventually finishes 3rd. Hamilton of course retired with a mechanical failure.

USA: A red Bull retires with a car failure!… yep… it’s webber’s car, not vettel’s.

BRAZIL: has a huge shunt from senna. BUT this is vettel he hit! of course it won’t be terminal damage! in fact let’s sprinkle some rain on the track to ease the issue for you! OH NO a disastourous pitstop drops him out of title contention! nah don’t worry, the field is so spread out and a few cars have retired, so he only rejoins in 10th or so… and to make things a bit easier let’s have the 2nd Red Bull team (toro rosso) move out of the way, and Schumi’s having an emotional last race, so he moves out of the way like a dad would to his son.
Hamilton retires just for good measure.

Oh dear, this can’t end well.

Australia, Schumacher doesn’t retire, Vettel and Webber get past, Alonso doesn’t. Safety car doesn’t cost Hamilton 2nd from Vettel.

Hamilton – 18
Vettel – 15
Webber – 12
Alonso – 8

Malaysia, Webber isn’t held in the pits and retains 4th ahead of Vettel, who avoids Karthikeyan while lapping him.

Hamilton – +15, 33
Vettel – +10, 25
Webber – +12, 24
Alonso – +25, 33

China, Schumacher wheel is attached properly and he finishes third. No gearbox penalty for
Hamilton who finishes second.
Hamilton p3, Vettel p6, Webber p5, Alonso p10.

Hamilton – +18, 51
Vettel – + 8, 33
Webber – +10, 34
Alonso – +1, 34

Bahrain, Lewis doesn’t have those pitstops, finishes fifth.
Hamilton p5, Vettel p1, Webber p4, Alonso p8.

Hamilton – +10, 61
Vettel – +25, 58
Webber – +12, 46
Alonso – +4, 38.

Spain, no front wing issue in the race for Webber and Vettel.
Mclaren fuel Hamiltons car properly and he takes pole and win.

Hamilton p1, Vettel p7, Webber p8, Alonso p3.

Hamilton – +25, 86
Vettel – +6, 64
Webber – +4, 50
Alonso – +15, 53

Monaco, no changes.
Hamilton p5, Vettel p4, Webber p1, Alonso p3.

Hamilton – +10, 96
Vettel – +12, 76
Webber – +25, 75
Alonso – +15, 68

Canada, Alonso and Vettel pit in response to Hamiltons last stop, Webber doesn’t have gearshift issue in first stint.
Hamilton p1, Vettel p3, Webber p4, Alonso p2.

Hamilton – +25, 121
Vettel – +15, 91
Webber – +12, 87
Alonso – +18, 86

European, with no technical issues in qualifying or race a RB one-two. Hamilton overtaken by Maldonado and Schumacher at end as tyres go off, no car failure for Grosjean.
Hamilton p7, Vettel p1, Webber p2, Alonso p3.

Hamilton – +6, 127
Vettel – +25, 116
Webber – +18, 105
Alonso – +15, 101

Britain, no changes.
Hamilton p8, Vettel p3, Webber p1, Alonso p2.

Hamilton – +4, 131
Vettel – +15, 131
Webber – +25, 130
Alonso – +18, 119

Germany, no gearbox penalty for Webber, finishes 4th, no puncture for Hamilton, finishes 5th , Vettel finishes 6th after penalty for overtaking off track.
Hamilton p5, Vettel p6, Web3er p4, Alonso p1.

Hamilton – +10, 141
Vettel – +8, 139
Webber – +12, 142
Alonso – +25, 144

Hungary, Webber does not have differential issue and finishes fifth.
Hamilton p1, Vettel p4, Webber p5, Alonso p6.

Hamilton – +25, 166
Vettel – +12, 151
Webber – +10, 152
Alonso – +8, 152

Belgium – not counted due to Grosjean incident making it impossible to evaluate possible finishing positions.

Italy, No Q3 issues for Alonso so he takes pole and win, Button finishes race in third, Vettel has no alternator failure and finishes 7th.
Alonso p1, Hamilton p2, Vettel p7, Webber DNF.

Hamilton – +18, 184
Vettel – +6, 157
Webber – 0, 152
Alonso – +25, 177

Singapore, No breakdowns for Hamilton and Maldonado, no second safety car ruining Webbers race strategy.
Hamilton p1, Vettel p2, Alonso p4, Webber p7.

Hamilton – +25, 209
Vettel – +18, 175
Webber – +6, 158
Alonso – +12, 189

Japan, Webber not Grosjeaned.
Hamilton p6, Vettel p1, Webber p2, Alonso DNF.

Hamilton – +8, 217
Vettel – +25, 200
Webber – +18, 176
Alonso – 0, 189

Korea, Hamilton doesn’t have rear roll bar failure, finishes 4th.
Vettel p1, Webber p2, Alonso p3, Hamilton p4.

Hamilton – +12, 229
Vettel – +25, 225
Webber – +18, 194
Alonso – +15, 204

India, no KERS failure for Webber in race.
Vettel p1, Webber p2, Alonso p3, Hamilton p4.

Hamilton – +12, 241
Vettel – +25, 250
Webber – +18, 212
Alonso – +15, 219

Abu Dhabi, 1L of fuel found in Vettels car. Starts from third and finishes second.
Hamilton p1, Alonso p4, Vettel p2, Webber p10.

Hamilton – +25, 266
Vettel – +18, 268
Webber – +1, 213
Alonso +15, 234

America, Webber finished.
Hamilton p1, Vettel p2, Webber p3, Alonso p4.

Hamilton – +25, 291
Vettel – +18, 286
Webber – +15, 228
Alonso +12, 246

Brazil, no crash between Hulk and Hamilton.
Hamilton p2, Alonso p4, Webber p6, Vettel p7.

Hamilton – +18, 309
Vettel – +6, 292
Webber – +8, 236
Alonso +12, 258

Actual vs Corrected, difference.

Hamilton 190/309, -119.
Vettel 281/292, -11.
Webber 179/236, -57.
Alonso 278/258, +20.

So Hamilton champion ahead of Vettel and then Alonso.

Of course, that doesn’t take into account the factor of Vettel and Alonso, especially the latter, having to drive a slower car – but that’s another debate.

There is often a correlation between speed and reliability. I mean, when Hamilton’s car had been more reliable, it might as well have been slower. Plus, I don’t consider it bad luck when your team messes up pitstops. It means that you and your team did a worse job than your opponents.