F1’s two top powerbrokers – FIA president Jean Todt and Formula One Group chief executive Bernie Ecclestone – exchange views earlier this year.
What did they have to say to each other? That’s for you to decide in our latest Caption Competition.
Post your funniest suggestion below and a selection of the best will appear in a future edition of the F1 Fanatic Round-up.
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Image © FIA/Le Floc’h
Little_M_Lo (@pezlo2013)
27th September 2014, 14:17
Bernie: I can’t see why fans dislike the new regulations
Jean: Should’ve gone to Spec-Savers
VMaxMuffin (@vmaxmuffin)
27th September 2014, 16:42
ahaha
Bruno (@brunes)
28th September 2014, 4:39
HAHAHAHA!!
And here I was thinking spec savers was an aussie company.
I loled extra hard at this
Bruno (@brunes)
28th September 2014, 4:44
Todt -“Next race:
Antarctica.”
Bernie – “make sure the studs don’t last too long”
hunocsi (@hunocsi)
27th September 2014, 14:19
Bernie: “I carry around 50 million pounds cash in this briefcase. Because I can.”
Placid (@placid)
27th September 2014, 19:47
Todt: Oh, Good!!! Because I heard that Marco was making a presence.
Bernie: Now what kind of advice will Mattiaci is going to give me?
Todt: Not him!! It’s Mario’s mediocre grandson!!!!
alexf1man (@alexf1man)
27th September 2014, 20:17
Bernie: “I have more money in here than CF1 Grand Prix will ever see”
Fsoud (@udm7)
27th September 2014, 14:23
“How about a Moroccan Grand Prix?”
Red Kipper
27th September 2014, 14:25
Bernie says
“I like to chew my toasted bagels one at a time…”
JackySteeg (@jackysteeg)
27th September 2014, 14:28
“You know, this event would be more interesting if there were sprinklers.”
Red Kipper
27th September 2014, 14:29
Bernie says
“wait till they hear we’re scrapping double points in Ab Dab if it’s going to benefit Lewis”
Fsoud (@udm7)
27th September 2014, 14:30
We need to return to Korea, my daughters need more money.
Formula Indonesia (@)
27th September 2014, 14:32
Bernie :” lets do Korea again, and this time on night!”
Hotbottoms (@hotbottoms)
27th September 2014, 14:33
Bernie: “Wipe that smile off your face, Jean. There are still no bankrupt teams in the series that you are supposed to govern!”
dragoll (@dragoll)
27th September 2014, 14:35
Bernie: “yada yada yada driver aids… yada yada yada sochi gp… yada yada yada…”
Todt thinks to himself “Just you wait…”
Kodongo (@kodongo)
27th September 2014, 14:39
Bernie: How much does it cost to light a night race?
Jean: About €35m per grand prix. More than €100m per season.
Bernie: How much does it cost to run a team?
Jean: Around €100m at the minimum.
Bernie meditates on Jean’s words for a minute
Bernie: I’d rather have the lights!
PhilEReid (@philereid)
27th September 2014, 14:42
Jean Todt has a satisfying feeling through his body as Burnie pushes the button to drop three teams from Formula 1.
just.daz (@nemo87)
27th September 2014, 14:45
Bernie: I just pulled it out my pocket to send a text, and it’s bent!!
Chris (@tophercheese21)
27th September 2014, 15:27
Winner!
Jakob (@jakobh)
27th September 2014, 18:35
Haha:)
Jan (@yancheelaa)
28th September 2014, 0:44
:))) winner for me
mickey18 (@mickey18)
28th September 2014, 7:35
Like this one!
Mark Thomson (@melthom)
27th September 2014, 14:46
C’mon Jean, giving my daughters a superlicense would save F1 for a long time!
Illusive (@illusive)
27th September 2014, 15:01
Bernie: ………..and this is how i destroy F1.
Yappy
27th September 2014, 15:02
Seven cars per team, the drivers have to dress like clowns, and juggling. Also the cars have to jump through flaming hoops. Now that’s a show. Did I mention juggling?
Sri Harsha (@harsha)
27th September 2014, 15:12
No new stupid rules that’s disheartening
Paul
27th September 2014, 15:15
Bernie to jean: Is that the new 2015 nose?
Retired (@jeff1s)
27th September 2014, 15:17
What about double points for the first race in leap year, Jean?
Alex Brown (@splittimes)
27th September 2014, 15:26
Jean, your smug smile shows me you care about this sport as much as I do.
MJ (@mjf1)
27th September 2014, 15:26
Bernie says Think before you Bribe.
BlackJack (@danieljaksa)
27th September 2014, 15:29
I just told the Judge that the 44 mill was loose change that fell out of my pocket and he bought it.
markopoloman (@markopoloman)
27th September 2014, 15:31
Bernie: At the start of the season we had the teams design the car noses on ours, mine shaped like a male appendage, yours big and droopy.
Jean: (in his excellent inspector Clueseu accent) yes, and it didn’t work as I planned!
Bernie: How can you say that, my male appendage nosed cars are not doing as well as your droopy nosed ones!
Jean: (in his excellent inspector Clueseu accent) Ferrari were given the full specifications of my nose but still couldn’t get it right yet Merc and Redbull fluke it just by looking at photos.
Bernie: Don’t worry, we’ll adjust the rules again next season and try to get Ferrari winning again.
Gareth J (@gjessopp)
27th September 2014, 15:34
How much do I have to bribe you for a Syrian Grand Prix?
Scary Terry (@hatebreeder)
27th September 2014, 15:34
I say the driver with the most points next season finishes 2nd in the world championship. That’ll make the sport interesting!
Fsoud (@udm7)
27th September 2014, 15:44
Its been 5 days, and I haven’t even tried to destroy the sport.
Suvan Naidu (@serv)
27th September 2014, 15:45
Bernie realises he told all his 3 car team plans to a wax statue of Jean Todt
Arthur (@eriko)
27th September 2014, 15:46
Bernie- “Please don’t don’t eat my phone again.”
Fsoud (@udm7)
28th September 2014, 14:29
+1
Andy (@turbof1)
27th September 2014, 15:59
“It’s either 3 cars a team on the grid, or 3 seconds left until I push your exit button.”
Bullfrog (@bullfrog)
27th September 2014, 16:02
Bernie: “I think everybody wants lower tables in here.”
JackySteeg (@jackysteeg)
27th September 2014, 16:08
“I think we need three presidents.”
raddie (@raddie)
27th September 2014, 16:21
Hey, Jean, why so much creepy teams? We need just Ferrari for Italy, McLaren for Britain, Red Bull for Mateschitz and Mercedes for Germany. And each with 5 cars. That’s what I call savings!
Iestyn Davies (@fastiesty)
27th September 2014, 16:26
Bernie: “Well, I see you got the money then..”
VMaxMuffin (@vmaxmuffin)
27th September 2014, 16:45
Bernie and Jean meet to discuss what rule change they could make to most infuriate purist fans.
Dave
27th September 2014, 16:50
See here Jean, I just press this button and a Mercedes breaks down, that keeps the season interesting and that idiot Horner thinking they still have a chance. It’s great, I even made Lewis’s car catch fire once! (fallowed by evil maniacal laugh)
russ
27th September 2014, 16:57
hey Jean,all we really need is 3 teams with 10 cars each.
Craig
27th September 2014, 17:09
Listen Jean, I’ve got more power in this cell phone than you’ve got in your Mickey-Mouse hybrid F1 kiddie-cars.
Goriot
27th September 2014, 17:15
– Next year, we’ll have side-car!
– Two drivers per car, what an idea!
Wheel Nut (@wheel-nut)
27th September 2014, 17:17
One for you, 10 for me and sod the rest of them
lucyinthe sky
27th September 2014, 17:20
Ecclestone: – “you sure are ugly!”
Todt: – “with the money we both have, you can be as ugly as you want and wimmen still love us!”
Euro Brun (@eurobrun)
27th September 2014, 17:21
Bernie: “and if I push this button, the nurse comes and takes me to the toilet”
The satisfied smug look on Jean’s face suggests he’s just been.
Tourdog
27th September 2014, 17:26
Sorry Jean it’s in the contract.
If my limo is late you have to carry me to the airport.
Adam (@swansf1)
27th September 2014, 17:32
“I’ve just hired Maldanados driving coach to do my suits!”
airtone
27th September 2014, 17:51
With what I have in this wallet, I can get a seat in 2015!
aka terrible towel
27th September 2014, 17:51
Do you really think I will get jail time: just watch it. You are really as stupid as you look.
JXB141
27th September 2014, 18:24
With three-car teams a real possibility, F1’s newest pay driver attempts to sweet-talk his way around the FIA’s superlicence requirements.
Mashiat (@mashiat)
27th September 2014, 18:32
BE: So when are you going to implement my brilliant Triple-Points idea?
Mashiat (@mashiat)
27th September 2014, 18:35
BE: It’s all about the money, money, money
JT: You don’t need your money, money money
Mark Thomson (@melthom)
27th September 2014, 19:20
Bernie: I know another moonlight race would be difficult to squeeze in, but not impossible.
Jean: Over my Todt body, you’re a Lunie.
zicasso (@zicasso)
27th September 2014, 19:29
Jean: What’s in the briefcase?
Bernie: Mine…
David Not Coulthard (@davidnotcoulthard)
27th September 2014, 19:32
Bernie, MSC once told me of this trick in DEU’s courts:”..bla…bla…bla…Bribe out of a bribe case….bla….bla….bla…..”
D Winn
27th September 2014, 19:39
BE: If you take your high heel shoes off I’ll be higher than you
D Winn
27th September 2014, 19:50
JT: I’ve got my high heels on so I’m over the height limit to get on the Ferris wheel at Suzuka
gdewilde (@gdewilde)
27th September 2014, 20:07
Commentator: “and now, the two most powerful man in F1 make their appearance at the 2086 FIA Prize-Giving Gala, ill weeds definitely grow apace.”
Kelsier (@kelsier)
27th September 2014, 20:25
Bernie: If we drive Mercedes and Redbull out of business and let Ferrari race 18 cars, do you think they can win again?
Todt: Maybe, lets try!
Red Kipper
27th September 2014, 20:31
Todt says
Its no big deal: I’ll do my Elvis routine, you do Ringo Starr, and we’re off home.
Jhbauer27
27th September 2014, 20:31
Bernie: (Whispers) “The briefcase with the cash is in locker number I83.”
Frasier (@frasier)
27th September 2014, 20:46
JT Great news Bernie, I managed to find an entry for your old team Brabham.
BE You did what!!!
dutchtreat (@dutchtreat)
27th September 2014, 20:57
Jean, we need to agree on coded messages when I am in prison.
Alex W
28th September 2014, 3:56
winner
ruliemaulana (@ruliemaulana)
28th September 2014, 9:21
^this one
Liam Radford (@)
27th September 2014, 21:05
How about we hold a Grand Prix, on the Moon
@HoHum (@hohum)
27th September 2014, 21:18
BE. ” So that’s Rosberg out and all I have to do is tap this app with my thumb whenever Ricciardo gets to close to Vettel and his ERS cuts out”
JT. ” Brilliant, but can you make Fernando faster”?
thesud (@thesud)
27th September 2014, 21:24
BE: Jean, that stinks so much that everyone behind you has passed out.
JT: My work here is done.
AMR (@aiera-music)
27th September 2014, 22:04
“For the last time, Todt, I’m not downloading Twitter.”
Wesley (@)
27th September 2014, 22:12
Bernie: “Are you storing nuts in your cheeks for winter Jean?”
Fsoud (@udm7)
28th September 2014, 14:33
+1
Sensord4notbeingafanboi (@peartree)
27th September 2014, 22:21
Jean and Bernie discuss how much they love to be seen together as both together would total the height of a normal person, and then they come up the idea of awarding half points to every race but the one that pays them both.
HK (@me4me)
27th September 2014, 22:37
Two elderly men discussing Monopoly. One talking rules, the other how to play the get-out-of-jail-free card. Apparently they are quite experienced.
schooner (@schooner)
27th September 2014, 23:38
“Remember Jean, when we get into the meeting, I’ll be doing the talking.”
AndrewT (@andrewt)
28th September 2014, 0:18
BE: The guy in Rolls Royce service have just slammed down the phone when I asked him about unstable braking…
Mark Thomson (@melthom)
28th September 2014, 1:49
BE: you will die first!
JT: No, you will die first!
Robbie (@robbie)
28th September 2014, 2:06
With keen interest, Bernie Ecclestone is seen here trying out in public his most advanced version yet…Todtbot 2014. Highly complex, yet requires babying, isn’t always reliable, and is strangely quiet. Upgrades expected for 2015.
Irejag (@irejag)
28th September 2014, 2:32
Bernie: What do you mean this haircut doesn’t make me look like John Lennon?
Leejo
28th September 2014, 2:35
Jean: …and then we’ll require that 27.5% of the total energy output be generated using recycled FIA methane on laps where DRS is if teams are on the options, and 24.62% recycled methane on primes. Using any methane at all on non-DRS laps will be between a 5 and 45s drive-through, at stewards’ discretion
Bernie: Yes! Perfect! The crowds at the Yemen Grand Prix will love it!
Leejo
28th September 2014, 2:36
dammit. “…where DRS is enabled…”
Michael (@freelittlebirds)
28th September 2014, 3:34
No Jean, for the last time I don’t have 45 million Euro for you in this bag!!!
greg-c (@greg-c)
28th September 2014, 4:26
Tow the line Todt or I’ll backhand you !!!!
RV (@zenren)
28th September 2014, 5:43
Jean, I know you have a soft spot for Ferrari. So lets confuse everyone with more rule changes in the middle of the season if they are not winning.
captionshirts
28th September 2014, 5:59
Oh come on Jean, stop looking so smug – you’re only an inch taller than me.
Anshu
28th September 2014, 6:01
and then I said I want 3 car system from 2015…!!!
Irejag (@irejag)
28th September 2014, 6:39
Bernie: …wipe that grin off your face, she was looking at me.
Martin Pearce (@glenfern)
28th September 2014, 10:10
Bernie, “Pssst, want to buy a Grandmother?”
Osvaldas31 (@osvaldas31)
28th September 2014, 10:13
Bernie: “Let’s get back to Korea, this time we should try the northern part.”
ColdFly F1 (@)
28th September 2014, 10:43
Todt: Bernie I hear you are taking over the Premier League.
Bernie: Right, I plan to make all stadium advertising mine and keep 50% of TV revenue. I will also stop paying the teams coming last, and let them play matches in city squares in Asia and Middle East, selling the last game to the highest bidder and award double points.
Todt: Great plan. Lets reduce the ball size from 8 to 6 pints and add an electric motor; after every foul take away any lead and restart from the centre spot; allow the team coming from behind to a Goal Dimensions Reducing in Size (DRS); and mid season ban coaching from the sideline except for weather forecasts.
melkurion (@melkurion)
28th September 2014, 11:01
Todt: you might be in charge now, but I will outlive you
Franco
28th September 2014, 11:04
JT – I’m taller than u
BE – Well I’m a lot richer than
simon booth
28th September 2014, 11:33
C3p-Bernie: I do believe they think I am some kind of god.
Jean Solo: Well, why don’t you use your devine influence and get us out of this?
(From Car Wars; episode 1, a dashed hope)
Tomsk (@tomsk)
28th September 2014, 12:01
Bernie: “You know what, I’ve never seen you and the Stig in the same room.”
Todt says nothing, and just stands there.
beneboy (@beneboy)
28th September 2014, 12:45
Dopy & Grumpy discussing how they got rid of the other 5 dwarves…
Pink Peril
28th September 2014, 23:49
Love it. Although Grumpy should be renamed Greedy.
JCost (@jcost)
28th September 2014, 13:08
Bernie says: “Maybe we should announce sooner rather than later that we want to ban modern F1 cars and put those guys racing in go-karts”
Peter (@boylep6)
28th September 2014, 13:24
All I have to do is push one button and seven teams are bankrupt.
Do what I say NOW!
Scalextric (@scalextric)
28th September 2014, 14:47
No, I was wrong. Twitter is great! I can start rumours about wacky new rules much faster now.
Simon (@s162000)
28th September 2014, 16:54
Bernie: “So I just gave them £60 million and the problem went away”
Todt: “What about giving the struggling teams more prize money to help their funding problems?”
Bernie: “Haha, you are funny Jean”
James (@jamesjames123abc)
28th September 2014, 17:21
Bernie: “Jean, what do you think about my latest idea – ‘Ferrari-boost’?”
Mark Thomson (@melthom)
28th September 2014, 22:51
Bernie: Whataya say we go after some really nice chicks tonite, you and me.
Jean: Yeah, and I’ll give you the CPR treatment as always.
Mark Thomson (@melthom)
28th September 2014, 22:52
Bernie: Kickoff, kickstart or kickbacks, same difference right?
Pink Peril
28th September 2014, 23:55
Any driver who wins and is taller than either of us should only be awarded half points.
BradandCoffee
29th September 2014, 0:08
You’ve really been working on your Alfred Hitchcock impression, Jean.
Neil (@neilosjames)
29th September 2014, 4:41
“Get someone from Marussia to change that lightbulb and I’ll let them race next year.”
DubYou
29th September 2014, 7:25
Dangit he’s wearing elevator shoes again, thought Bernie.
Peter Bryson
29th September 2014, 9:11
I never noticed Jean your chin looks like R130 I can get rid of that for you!
captain
29th September 2014, 11:23
Don’t look now, Max has just walked in.
Philip (@philipgb)
30th September 2014, 2:16
Jean Todt: Bernie, do Ferrari bit realise with three car teams they will have 9 cars faster than them rather than just 6?
Bernie Ecclestone: Yes, but with Caterham gone they’ll be alphabetically first again at least, they won’t always have Alonsos alphabetical status to keep them at the top of my phone book.
Mick Harris
2nd October 2014, 18:26
“No Jean, you can’t have a Pernot with ice… I’ve just secured a deal with Johnnie Walker – you’ll have a scotch instead!”
apexor
6th October 2014, 3:54
Bernie: Jean I pay you one billion dollars to have a one night out with that lady behind us.
Jean: Bernie I pay you one million dollars to have a one night out with that lady behind us.
Guess which one them will do it.
jayson biadog (@jbiadog)
18th October 2014, 19:08
Bernie: How much f1 excitement can me make?
Jean: It depends on how much money can you cough