Sebastian Vettel, Red Bull, Shanghai, 2014

Caption Competition 68: Sebastian Vettel

Caption CompetitionPosted on | Author Keith Collantine

Sebastian Vettel, Red Bull, Shanghai, 2014

He’s a Ferrari man now – but last year Sebastian Vettel was doing PR duty for Red Bull.

Here he is during last year’s Chinese Grand Prix weekend describing a lap of the Shanghai International Circuit.

Can you think of a funny caption to go with this picture?

Post your suggestion in the comments and a selection of the best will appear in a future edition of the F1 Fanatic round-up.

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157 comments on “Caption Competition 68: Sebastian Vettel”

  1. “Hmm… This bit was almost flat in my Red Bull. I’m not so convinced about trying it out at that speed in the Ferrari.”

  2. This is where we lap the Ferraris by going round the outside

    1. @alexf1man Actually Fernando was fantastic at Shanghai.

      1. @peartree He was, but in general Ferrari were a long way off the pace last year

  3. “This is the corner where Ricciardo overtook me…”

    1. lolz!! this is a winner for me

    2. “This is the corner where I told them tough luck”

    3. Haha yes. “This is where I knew Ricciardo was better than me…” or “This is where I knew I was beaten..”

    4. This incident was the first thing I thought when I saw the picture!

    5. “This is the place, where I’ll never let anyone pass me.”

  4. just here is where i was actually faster than daniel

  5. “and here is where Tilke reaaally screwed up!”

    1. Haha. I like this one.

  6. @CausticCorner
    17th January 2015, 12:31

    “Red Bull’s Sebastian Vettel addressing an audience, just before Ferrari’s men in white coats came to take him away.”

  7. “Obviously, Hermann Tilke sneezed when he drew the first few corners”

  8. “…And at this corner is where I multi21’d Webber.”

    1. @turbof1, that was Malaysia ;)

      1. Ah crap yes :P.

        1. @turbof1 @me4me “This is where Tilke recycled T1 from Malaysia..”

          1. This is where I used to get Marko to deactivate Webber’s KERS.

  9. If you look carefully this track looks a bit like a dinosaur. See, there’s its eye

  10. Upon analysing the circuit Vettel can’t help but wonder if the track was based off a side view of a Kangaroo, he was quoted as saying “as you can see this is the head”.

  11. “Every time I drive around this corner I earn more than everyone else in the room earns in a year combined…”

    1. loll yeah

  12. And I am afraid this the last time I like this curves.

  13. Sebastian Vettel tries to recreate the shape of the Shanghai Circuit with his hand.

  14. This is where Christian first called me Sebby a few years ago. I’m hoping the Tifosi will call me Michael instead.

  15. Here we have about the only corner where Webber didn’t have problems in 2013.

  16. Inspired by Dundee, Vettel works his finger voodoo on the kangaroo in front of him. Sadly he was never able to fully master it.

  17. That corner is where Danny made my Ferrari move on me.

  18. After Daniel passing me This is where i said “Tough Luck” to my self

  19. “and this bit here looks like a thumb, so you don’t use that, you use the index”

  20. “…and this is where my career has taken a big turn.”

    1. Pat Ruadh (@fullcoursecaution)
      17th January 2015, 16:27

      nice

  21. and this is the corner where Tilke completely loose his mind…

  22. After getting distracted, Sebastian discusses the different Tree types visible on the outside of Turn 2.

  23. AANNDDD across the line! Oh wait…

  24. Anyone notice the track layout looks like a dog? Theres its tail.

  25. …and this is a very long right hander. It just goes on…and on…and on… Just like my PR duties

  26. …and then I told Mark Webber that this was the quickest line through Turns 1 & 2

  27. “And here is where I’ll pick up my Red…Fer…Bull RB…666 and here is the next team principal of the Scuderia.

  28. Seb, always ambitious, pointing cockily towards the 310-7 dial, his answer to a public question regarding the number of points and wins he’ll be able to achieve in 2014. “If we don’t hit that target, well, tough luck then, I’ll be leaving for Ferrari.”

  29. Well, if you don’t want to hear be beatbox, I’ll just explain the track.

  30. DUPOUY (@oneightwozeroes)
    17th January 2015, 13:21

    “I sNailed this corner!”

  31. I’m taking this year to exercise my other fingers.

  32. Since I’m going to a classic team like Ferrari and I’m going to be earning a lot more I’ve decided to use this finger so I seem more refined.

  33. tgu (@thegrapeunwashed)
    17th January 2015, 13:55

    As usual, Seb warmed up for the Chinese GP by tracing his finger around the circuit, doing all the screaming engine and screeching brake noises himself, unaware of the bemused crowd that had gathered to watch.

    1. brilliant :)

  34. “And here is where I expect my Ferrari to break down.”

  35. “It says we’ll be doing 175 kph in fourth gear, but since I’m switching teams, it’s best not to get our hopes up.”

  36. And here is the point where I allowed Daniel to pass me

  37. “… and here we see the macaroons that compliment our cookie”

  38. “Now the dot I’m pointing to is Daniel. I’m the one about half a mile back.”

  39. Here’s where i used to brake on my old car, which, by coincidence, is the same place where i start accelerating again. Good times when F1 was challenging!

  40. “… and this curly bit is the other ear. See, it’s a bunny rabbit!”

  41. The little girl wondering:
    “Where is Vettel’s famous ‘number 1’ finger? Why is it missing.”

  42. “This is the part where I’m already bored with this track.”

    1. Good one :-)

  43. … and this right here is my pinky.

  44. Pauline Lowrey
    17th January 2015, 14:35

    Capturing the moment when one of the women in the group realises the ice creams have arrived.

  45. And right here is where I complained about the tyres …

  46. “Huh? Oh yeah … the rest rooms are right over here”.

  47. ”And now we see this curve which is designed on Ferrari’s progress”

  48. Vettel gives instructions on human anatomy.

  49. ” and this is where I decided I must go to a team where I’m considered a great without having to prove it”

  50. “This is the corner why Formula One is better than Formula E do, don’t ask me why.”

  51. … and at that point, Daniel will probably have a 20 seconds advantage over me. Because of … Well, I don’t know.

    1. … and at that point, Daniel will probably have a 20 seconds advantage over me. Because of .. things …

  52. It was at this point while walking the circuit, that I was “shanghai’d” by three hooded guys that handed me a Ferrari contract.

  53. Fritz Oosthuizen (@)
    17th January 2015, 15:43

    And is where the tifosi will wave at me next year. But don’t tell Christian yet…..

  54. Fritz Oosthuizen (@)
    17th January 2015, 15:44

    and the people at this corner in red will not boo me next year.

  55. Sebastian has to resort to using his pinky as a result of another baffling rule change involving winners and index fingers.

  56. ..and this is where my nan lives

  57. That was Tilke’s state of mind when he designed the circuit.

  58. Pat Ruadh (@fullcoursecaution)
    17th January 2015, 16:09

    “…hard on the brakes and straight down to second as you try and keep the momentum through Squiggles…”

  59. This is a really good play area to take your children. I like to go there and ride the swings.

  60. If you look closely, these corners along with turn four, form bunny ears.

  61. Pat Ruadh (@fullcoursecaution)
    17th January 2015, 16:22

    “and here you have the longest right hand in f1… its 9 and a quarter inches… I wear a size xxl glove…”

  62. “I don’t mind going to Ferrari, I’m used to driving cars that suck

  63. Shortly after deciding he would leave Red Bull Sebastian decides to try different jobs among them weatherman and TV presenter, he eventually settled for a Ferrari drive.

  64. Right about here is where we buried the bodies of the RBR young driver program rejects.

  65. After yet another fruitless race, Sebastien heads for the debrief and wonders how he managed to fend off the caterham for that long.

  66. “Unlike previous seasons we will have to apply the breaks to get round this corner”

  67. “Between F1 seasons, Sebastian Vettel teaches ‘Track Design 101’.”

  68. “Here is one of the places we expect the Ferrari engine to be down on power”

  69. “This is a very tough corner. It’s a great chance to flex your wings…er, I mean muscles!”

  70. Vettel decides that a new ‘finger’ is the way to go.

  71. “This is a track where, generally, it’s very easy to pass opponents. For example, there’s no way the Caterham, say Kobayashi, would hold me up anywhere…”

  72. And this is where Daniel is slower…

  73. And there, my Red Bull switched off, all by itself, once again…

  74. This where Kimi will let me pass for the victory just like what happened in Germany between Fernado and Felippe infamous overtake.

  75. “Here is where Tilke sneezed when drawing the track”

  76. “Do you kids like drawing squiggles? I know someone who used to as well..”

  77. Thinking he was looking at a graph of his total F1 career performance, that clearly showed his initial sharp rise at Red Bull, Vettel pointed to the moment he decided to switch to Ferrari…

  78. ” and this is the point where I realised my index finger will no longer be required”

  79. “And this kids, is where i let Ricciardo through”

  80. Vettel has arranged a special rescue group after when Ricciardo vanished in front of him after passing him during the GP.

  81. “and just here is where the Mercedes cars lapped me for the first time”

  82. “And here I said the infamous ‘tough luck’ stuff!”

  83. And then I got hit by the blue shell in this corner…

  84. AMR (@aiera-music)
    17th January 2015, 20:53

    Having not won a single race in 2014, Vettel was forced to use a different finger.

  85. Fritz Oosthuizen (@)
    17th January 2015, 21:13

    this is where I passed Webber and afterwards said I was sorry.

  86. …and here is were you wull be sitting and cheering for me during the race…

  87. …and here is the head of the cat.

    (The track layout looks like a cat)

  88. Seb: “This is about how far I expect to go on my first lap out of the pits before my engine decides that’s enough work for one day.”

  89. And this is the I’d cream parlour where I’ll be joining my new team mate

  90. And this is the Ice cream parlour where I’ll be joining my new team mate

    Silly me not checking predictive input

  91. And, if you find yourself at this point here, you can take it that you’ve left the track…

  92. Vettel: “They call this track S.I.C. – Shaded in Crayon. True story.”

  93. And this righty-lefty bit here, boys and girls, is where I throw up a little bit in my helmet.

  94. “and here’s where Webber put the tar out for me”

  95. So this track looks like a kangaroo, but actually if you flip it over it looks like a dog

  96. Ok, boys and girls..I know Verstappen was just the beginning, but I didn’t know I had to help you qualify for the superlicense already.

  97. I don’t know if it is a hairpin or chicane, a little bit of both I guess.

  98. That’s where Kobayashi overtook me in his Caterham. He had new tyres, of course he was quicker, but after two laps he was off.

  99. No way we’re going 175kph through there! Did Fernando access Mercedes’ data too?

  100. James (@jamesjames123abc)
    18th January 2015, 0:36

    “Here’s a promise, ladies and gentlemen: If Daniel passes me through this corner, I’ll move to Ferrari. I’m saying this because it’s so unlikely to happen”

  101. “And by this corner I was already ‘tough luck, mate’. “

  102. “This is the section Bernie told me he designed himself to make us feel like we’re going round and round in circles”

  103. We go 310kph in 7th on the straight; not sure how though much that is in the local currency!

  104. Seb, with a good-faith gesture, is seen here advising Verstappen’s crew.

    1. Max won’t be driving today ,
      He has detention for skipping school ,

  105. “Pastor was about here at the time.””

  106. This is my favorite turn here. Every time I’m there I think “Dong, where is my automobile?”

  107. As you can see I’m not very good at drawing squirrels. But then most of the ones I see are flat!

  108. Zis little pinky is ze finger I will be using in 2015. Ze index finger will curl up and hide like zis.

  109. konichiwa ….ouchh ehmm…. wo ai ni ….uhh eemmh …. eehh …. This is Turn 2 !

  110. This is where I met Anna!!

  111. tgu (@thegrapeunwashed)
    18th January 2015, 8:43

    “So we’ve just climbed this near vertical slope and crested the hill. This is the point at which the cars will fall off onto the track below…? I need to speak to Hermann, this looks bad.”

    At the unveiling of the Chinese GP, no-one had warned Seb that the layout had been rotated 90 degrees so that it could be projected on to a wall.

  112. Und zen, after the last brandy, Mr. Tilke made this thing.

  113. “This is where Kobayashi un-lapped himself”

  114. After revealing his move to Ferrari, Red Bull place Vettel on kindergartening leave.

  115. Vettel briefs the new Toro Rosso drivers and their parents.

  116. Which is the best finger to make a point with again? I’m sure I used to know until Daniel turned up.

  117. All in all, this is the first corner

  118. …and here you can find the rest of the missing trophies.

  119. Daniel (@mechanicalgrip22)
    18th January 2015, 16:49

    Now pay attention children, in a few years time one of you will be racing on this track in my seat, and you need to get this corner right.

  120. “Now at this point the car is in second gear travelling at 105km/hr and pulling about 3.5 Gs, which is enough to make your face look so horrid your mother would scream, but what you won’t have seen on TV because the broadcast is restricted to Pay-TV channels … what … F1 races are broadcast on Free to Air TV in China? … well then you’d have seen …” Blah blah blah.

  121. Ven I turn der stirink veel, she go vright, maybe.

  122. It was at this turn I realized that it was not going to win the title for a fifth time

  123. “And if you look here you can see the remnants of my F1 dominance.”

  124. Seb fails to wow the crowd with his Karaoke rendition of ‘We are the Champions’.

  125. Vettel is talking the new Toro Rosso recruits through the Chinese track

  126. “…and this is the route Bernie’s proposed shortcut would take…”

  127. “And as you can see from this x-ray, is why I had a stomach ache that day.”

  128. This is the corner where I made all the time when I won the first race for Red Bull.

  129. “This is one of the few Grandstands where you actually get spectators”

  130. “This squiggle part was actually designed by Herman Tilk’s 5yr old daughter.”

  131. “…and here you can buy your Ferrari merchandise for next year!”

  132. Ooops… wrong finger!

  133. Dr Robert Jones
    19th January 2015, 17:33

    SEB says………. Now its just here when the Renault engine just gives up the ghost and the Ferrari overtakes…..!

  134. Saurabh (@sksahukanker62)
    22nd January 2015, 3:33

    This is the corner where donuts are most expensive :P

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