F1 Poetry

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    Ned Flanders

    After reading PortuGoose’s Ballad of Bobby K, I thought this could be an interesting addition to the Forum, not to mention a great way for me to avoid work for a bit longer. Can anyone come up with any F1 poems (or limericks, haikus, sonnets or whatever)?

    See here for ideas: http://www.poemofquotes.com/articles/poetry_forms.php



    I had one a couple of years back, based on the dismal weather the Iberian tracks were seeing during pre-season testing…

    The rain

    in Spain

    falls mainly on

    F1 test days

    Didn’t really apply this year though


    Ned Flanders

    There was a young fellow named Glock

    His car seemed t’be made out of rock

    His career was stalling

    Virgin share price freefalling

    And Massa fanboys still think he’s a… actually, never mind :P



    There was a small chap named Massa,

    who told his team mate “me casa su casa”

    but while Alonso went off to win

    Felipe ended up in a spin

    or handing his Hockheinem trophy over…

    Didn’t quite work but never mind.

    This is a great idea for a thread but I’m a little busy so I’ll try some later. This should be very fun to read through!



    There was a crybaby called Alonso,

    Who we affectionately know as teflonso,

    When he doesn’t win

    In his tears you can swim

    He’s awaiting Kleenex as a sponsor.


    Double Apex

    Not F1 but I hope a few will get it!!! :D

    (Hint: look at username!)

    There once was a driver called Ricky Bobby,

    His stomach was in fact a little flobby.

    He spent all day

    Going one way

    Much to F1 fans dismay!


    Nic Morley

    This driver is an ace,

    he just want’s to race,

    he’s brilliantly fast,

    and has such awesome class,

    ^^That poems a dream,

    for this driver with cash,

    He doesn’t buy cream,

    but he does crash!

    His name starts with S,

    can you have a guess?

    It end’s in O,

    and ends rhyming with toe,

    Do you know who,

    this driver could be?

    Have a go,

    it just aint me!


    Now this is my kind of thread!

    I’ll try some haikus later.


    Red Andy

    A miserable, erratic Finn

    Left F1 when he ceased to win

    Now his fans are bereft

    But he loves turning left

    So he’s found a new way to cash in!


    Here’s some F1 2011 Haikus for you:

    Youngest Champion,

    Greets victory in the form,

    Of an erect finger.

    Many cheer for Mark,

    A true-blue, fair dinkum bloke,

    And Canberra Milk Kid.

    Love or loathe the man,

    One day youll tell grandchildren,

    I watched Lewis race.

    Jenson – smooth like glass,

    Champion through brains and Brawn,

    His missus is fit.

    The Spaniard in red,

    Fernandos. Faster. Than. You.

    Dont mention Petrov.

    A knock on the head,

    Did not kill Massas belief.

    But team orders did.

    Greatest of all time?

    Red Baron back in Silver,

    Never count him out.

    Nicos first win waits,

    Fathers shadow hangs over,

    Not for much longer?

    Vitaly Petrov,

    In quest to secure future,

    Podiums wont hurt.

    Quick Nick to his fans,

    Beard like Benny from ABBA,

    Third winless German.

    Loveable Rubens,

    A triple centurion,

    Quicker than The Stig.

    Hugo Chavez mate,

    Venezuelas first ever,

    Hopes for Pastors green.

    Many praise Sutil.

    Needs to score more and crash less.

    He runs like a girl.

    Young Scottish driver,

    Has beaten Lewis and Seb,

    And Ralf Schumacher.


    Against Sauber’s samurai

    You have no defence.

    Luchador driver,

    Sergios swiftness excites,

    Not fan of stewards.

    Sebastien who?

    His wheels all fell off once.

    And thats about it.

    Dropping the phat tunes,

    DJ Squires up in here.

    Points to come often?

    Former race winner,

    Jarnos getting on a bit.

    His wines quite tasty.

    The last Flying Finn.

    Heikkis not easy to pass.

    Just ask Mark Webber.

    Glock makes six Germans.

    Made a man of Virgin team,

    Despite small fuel tank.

    New Belgian rookie,

    Bransons popped Jeromes cherry.

    No more Virgin jokes.

    Sole Italian,

    Liuzzi wont qualify.

    Must have been desperate.

    Indian driver,

    I could make a taxi joke,

    But that would be rude.



    I loved the Jenson one Magnificent Geoffrey! :D

    My other favourites are Buemi, Sutil, Trulli and Barrichello. That post is going to take some beating!


    Dan Thorn

    Fantastic! Love em all. Great work!


    Ned Flanders

    Hahaha amazing Magsy! My favourite was the Paul di Resta one. I might have a go at some haiku’s myself, but my problem is I’m rubbish at working out what counts as a syllable…



    Lewis didn’t want to finish in last,

    So he drove excessively fast,

    He went into a spin,

    And it cost him the win,

    Thankfully that’s all in the past.



    They are brilliant Magfrey!

    I like the Massa one!

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