F1

Why did Fernando cross the road?… F1 jokes

This topic contains 77 replies, has 44 voices, and was last updated by  ob1kenobi.23 6 years, 4 months ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 61 through 75 (of 78 total)
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    Posts
  • #159518

    Hare
    Participant

    That last one is good :) So’s the tank one :)

    #159519

    TommyB
    Participant

    Whats the difference between the HRT F111 and Tiger Woods? Tiger can drive further than 200 yards.

    #159520

    Todfod
    Participant

    @tommyb89. You got some serious material to become a standup F1 comedian.

    #159521

    SouthAussie94
    Participant

    Kimi Raikkonen and a giraffe walk into a bar and start getting drunk. After a few drinks the giraffe collapses and Kimi goes to leave. The barman stops him saying ‘You can leave that lyin’ there’.

    Kimi turns and replies to the barman ‘Mate, that ain’t a lion, thats a giraffe.’

    #159522

    Icthyes
    Participant

    In Australia Ferrari marketed a Kimi Raikkonen boomerang. It was a flop as, no matter how much people wanted it to, it never came back.

    #159523

    Tommy C
    Participant

    So, what’s really hairy and really fast?

    Michael Chewbacca.

    I thought it was funny…

    #159524

    Kodongo
    Participant

    How many Ferrari drivers does it take to change a light bulb?

    Two.

    One to change the light bulb, and the other to stand on.


    Reporter: Martin, so close to a Drivers Championship in 2010, what prevented you from unlocking all of the MP4-25’s potential?

    Whitmarsh: Well, we believe we were disadvantaged by Charlie Whiting’s decision at the beginning of the season. We wanted to run our wing stalling device slightly closer to the cockpit for maximum efficiency, but Whiting took umbrage to our proposed ‘a-hole’ solution.

    [vodafone]


    Reporter: Mark, we’d like you to briefly describe Vettel’s precision driving when he has to set a timed lap to claim pole position?

    Webber: Deadly.

    Reporter: On the rare occasions that he hasn’t been on the front row, he has had to come through the field. A few words on the German’s overtaking manoeuvres?

    Webber: Deadly.


    Reporter: Mr. di Montizemelo, we’ve heard you want to get into Italian politics in the near future, is this true?

    di Mont: Yes, this has always been a wish of mine. I have always had a keen eye on the runnings of the country. Apparently, it is some kind of initiation into the political scene, that you have to screw someone. We heard all the rumours about Berlusconi screwing all the young Italian girls. Me, personally I prefer to screw Brazilians. Felipe in Germany, Rubens in Austria, I’ve been doing it since before you could spell Gisele.


    Reporter: Mark, how does it feel to have come so close to being a world champion?

    Webber: I am gutted, mate. Dominated and beaten by a German. Mind you, Max Mosley would have to pay to receive that kind of treatment!

    #159525

    dsob
    Participant

    A horse walks into a bar and orders a beer. He sees a sign on the backbar: “500 quid to anyone who can make the HRT racecar laugh.” He looks down the bar and sure enough, there sits a HRT racecar. He tells the barman he will take the bet. Walking down to the HRT, he whispers to it, and the HRT begins laughing so hard it nearly falls off the barstool. The horse collects his 500 quid and says that it was no trouble. “As a matter of fact”, says the horse, “if you want to bet another 500 quid I can make him cry as well, but on condition that we both go outside for 5 minutes”. The barman agrees, and the horse takes the HRT outside.

    Five minutes later the horse walks back in, followed by the sobbing HRT. The horse extends a hoof to collect his 500 quid. The barman says “OK, I’ll pay you right enough, but please please tell me how you did these things!”

    “It was easy”, says the horse. “To make him laugh, I whispered to him that I could run faster than him. To make him cry, I took him outside and showed him.”

    #159526

    sbl on tour
    Participant

    bernie, max and max,s dog are all in the pub having a quiet pint, a little lad runs in, goes up to the dog, lifts the dogs tail up and then scarpers out the door. A few minutes later the little lad runs back in, goes up to bernie and max, looks at the dog and lifts up the dogs tail again and runs back out again.

    Bernie and Max look at each other, Max says if that little sod comes back in grab him. For sure, the little lad comes back in again for the third time and runs up to the dog and before he could get to the dog, Max grabs him and says what the hell are you doing son? Little lad says, well its like this, theres some big lads outside who say theres a dog in the pub with two arseholes and i,ve never seen that!!!

    Ah the old ones are the best!!!!!

    #159527

    BasCB
    Participant

    I really had a great laugh over here. The last two pages have real pearls on them.

    I liked the one where Button joked that his car has even more buttons in it than Lewis’ car.

    #159528

    Anonymous

    Icthyes your Kimi joke cracked me up :D

    #159529

    xtophe
    Member

    Nikki Lauda decides to hire a personal assistent. Three guys show up for an interview.

    The first one goes inside. Lauda asks: “what do you see when you look at me?”

    He says: “you have no ears,” and is sent outside immediately.

    The second one enters Lauda’s office. Lauda asks: “what do you see when you look at me?”

    He says: “you have no ears,” and is sent away aswell.

    The third guy goes inside. Lauda asks: “what do you see when you look at me?”

    He says: “you’re wearing contactlenses.”

    Lauda asks: “how did you know that?”

    “Well, you can’t wear glasses, ’cause you don’t have any ears.”

    #159530

    Icthyes
    Participant

    Haha, thanks Steph!

    #159531

    Anonymous

    My Business Studies teahcer asked me to research a small business. So I visited the Hispania website.

    #159532

    Fixy
    Participant

    I understood only now (after 3 months) MPJ1994’s and Icthyes’ jokes on this page!

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